Tales From a Horrible Housewife

Do you ever feel like you are a less than stellar mom or wife? Well,  I am here to tell you that looks can be deceiving.  That woman with a yard straight from the pages of Better Homes and Garden… is secretly a hoarder. That women who makes desserts rivaling Martha Stewart… has dirty laundry up to her ceiling. And don’t get me started about those cooks you see on The Food Network! Those cooks haven’t cleaned their toilet in months!

Maybe this just explains my housewife blog, but if you could remotely relate to this full time housewife… you have found somewhere to belong! This is a place where mediocre is OK and stereotypical housewives are frowned upon, so embrace your flaws and pour some wine!

*CHEERS*

Gamora cupcake with orb cupcake topper tutorial for a Guardians of the Galaxy party

Gamora Cupcakes

The time has come for me to share my first Guardians of the Galaxy party idea- Gamora cupcakes with orb cupcake toppers! Hooray! Well… if party planning or nerdy things get you off, that is. Or maybe you are experiencing a double whammy of pleasure? I do enjoy doubling your pleasure whenever the opportunity presents itself. …

Read more

Rewarding my toddler with money for playing with his 'best mop ever' Christmas gift #CleanForTheHolidays #ad

Michael’s ‘Best Mop Ever’!

Michael’s best mop Christmas gift has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone.#CleanForTheHolidays #CollectiveBias Have you ever thought about the perks of being a parent? I mean, REALLY thought about why we decide to accept responsibility for another human being. Outside of the obvious refined persuasion tactics and the ability …

Read more

Guardians of the Galaxy party ideas- Groot cupcakes, orb cupcake toppers, Gamora cupcakes, infinity stones and more #OwnTheGalaxy #ad

Guardians of the Galaxy Party

This Guardians of the Galaxy party has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #OwnTheGalaxy #CollectiveBias I don’t know if you keep up with superhero gossip but Guardians of the Galaxy is finally out on DVD, and daaaaang, Disney! Good work! I did everything from ugly pregnant cry in the beginning …

Read more

A snickerdoodle cocktail is a great way to make Christmas morning coffee special #SweetNLowStars #client

Snickerdoodle Cocktail

I made this snickerdoodle cocktail with Sweet’N Low as part of a series of sponsored posts for Socialstars. #SweetNLowStars I have a confession to make… I am capable of full blown toddler tantrums when it comes to Christmas morning. When I was younger I would sleep in my brother’s bed on Christmas Eve because his room was on the first floor- …

Read more

I hate Facebook notifications

I Hate Facebook

I hate just about everything about Facebook. I hate notifications. I hated hearing “Mommy, put your phone down”. I hate the instant gratification monsters it has created. I hate how sensitive it has made people because so much context is lost in a status update. I hated reading about dying babies and ebola. I hate …

Read more

Staying up late addressing our Christmas cards from Snapfish

What Does Your Christmas Card Say about You?

I swear, October and November are all “Call the photographer!” “We need to go shopping!” “OMG, we will never get our Christmas cards out in time!”. So much goes into a card that who the heck knows if the recipients even keep! (I totally keep the ones with pictures. Because, pictures.) Don’t get me wrong, …

Read more

Chocolate peanut butter Peanut Hottie baby food jar holiday party favors

Holiday Party Favors

I have a holiday party favor that knows exactly how to push your oh so precious, knee buckling button. It starts with a bit of peanut butter. (Yes!) Then it teases you with some chocolate. (Mmhmmm!) And finally, it leaves you feeling youthful with gooey marshmallows. (Oh myy!) Chocolate. Peanut butter. Chocolate. Chocolate. Marshmallow. Peanut butter. …

Read more

Setting the table for a simple Christmas dinner

Easy Christmas Dinner Entertaining

The Schuplins have big plans for Christmas dinner this year! Yippee! This is the first year we are implementing our own holiday traditions in an effort to reduce our holiday stress. Gone are the days of traveling to 3 parties on Christmas day. I’m over it. I know some people truly enjoy party jumping, but …

Read more

OREO cookie party ideas- cookie decorating tips, OREO cookie recipes, dollar store decor, and more #OREOCookieBalls #ad

OREO Cookie Party

This OREO cookie party has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #CollectiveBias #OREOCookieBalls It’s the most wonderful time of the year It’s the hap-happiest season of all One of my strongest desires is to create holiday magic for Michael. I want him to grow up with fond memories of …

Read more

Elmo birthday party ideas- red chocolate covered cookies with candy noses and eyes

Elmo Birthday Party

In case you are new around this party joint, our Thanksgiving party is always paired with Leah’s birthday party, and her current love affair is with Elmo. Challenge accepted! I pulled out my red tote and started planning all things Elmo… on a budget. Like, a major budget because I was technically spending someone else’s money. I …

Read more

Starting my pinup hairstyle with the Infiniti Pro by Conair® Curl Secret® #HeartMyHair #shop

Easy Pinup Hairstyle from Everyday Looks

This pinup hairstyle tutorial has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. I have stomached through months of awkward bobby pin riddled ponytails because I committed to letting my hair grow during my pregnancy. You see, I adore the classic looks from back in the day, but you need longer …

Read more

Thanksgiving party ideas for the hostess who doesn't want to spend the entire morning in the kitchen and who also loves beautiful decorations

Thanksgiving Party Ideas

The Schuplin Thanksgiving party is special. So, so special because we celebrate Thanksgiving and Leah’s birthday all in one, extravagant shindig. Did you catch that? I’m talking about the type of large and in charge that would send a normal person to the funny farm. It totally gives me a run for my party planner money. …

Read more

Night vision on the Motorola Baby Monitor #MotorolaBabyMonitor

Color Me Unprepared: My Battle with Nesting

Some women love nesting. They find pleasure in tiny booties neatly lined up on a nursery shelf. Their nurseries look like the Pinterest board they crafted before it was remotely time to squat over a pee stick. They proudly display the beauty of pregnancy on their wall by means of a belly cast. They were destined to …

Read more

This snickerdoodle cookies recipe is my favorite cookie recipe

Snickerdoodle Cookies

Very few recipes have the ability to transform me into a rapid dog. You know, the recipes you cook in the middle of the night to avoid the vultures. The recipes I shove in my face as I prepare them because they are just THAT GOOD. I do not play well when it comes to snickerdoodle cookies. …

Read more

Cranberry cinnamon cocktail recipe for Thanksgiving dinner #SweetNLowStars #client

Cranberry Cinnamon Drink Recipe

I made this cranberry cinnamon drink recipe with Sweet’N Low as part of a series of sponsored posts for Socialstars. #SweetNLowStars Autumn is my favvvvvorite season. I love the cozy clothes, warm smells, perfect temperatures, and the decor! So much yes when it comes to autumn decor! I make apple crisp on the regular. We single handily support the apple orchards …

Read more

Artists have created exciting themed enviroments for the SEA LIFE Michigan Aquarium #SEALIFEMI

SEA LIFE Michigan Aquarium

If you are just joining my journey, I am a parent ambassador for SEA LIFE Michigan Aquarium. It’s that time again, folks! Time to get pumped. Time to revert back one’s 8 year old self because the SEA LIFE Michigan Aquarium has begun to fill up its 120,000 gallon ocean tank! Last Friday, I joined a lucky group of children, …

Read more

Here is a simple recipe for baked parmesan fries

Gluten Free Baked Parmesan Fries

They say pregnancy cravings are one way to tell what the sex of your baby will be. Except… there are no studies that tells you what happens when you don’t crave a darn thing. Like, nadda. Does that mean I am brewing up a mighty fine invisible baby? Could it be the next Superman? Who knows. …

Read more

Learning how to manage toddler eczema over the years

Toddler Eczema Follow-Up

I participated in an Influencer Activation Program on behalf of Influence-Central to talk about toddler eczema for #AveenoEczemaTherapy. I received a sample to facilitate my review and a thank you item for participating. Toddler eczema has rocked my mommy world from the very moment my goodies were sliced and diced. So many tears. So many guilty nights. …

Read more

Adding the duct tape handles to the DIY lightsabers

DIY Lightsabers

You should not be allowed to throw a Star Wars party without lightsabers. There, I said it! Just call me Judgy-Mc-Judgy Pants. Sorry, not sorry. Lightsabers belong at a Star Wars party like spiced rum goes with cider, and cankles come with pregnancy. Sooooo… let me show you how to be ‘the bestest mom I got’ on …

Read more

Stormtrooper and lightsaber cupcakes for a Disney Star Wars Rebels party #sparkrebellion #shop

DIY Millennium Falcon Cake Stand

Let’s talk about how high maintenance I can be for a minute. I might shower an undisclosed number of times each week, but there are certain things I cannot live without. Like, NARS concealer and obsessive party details. Don’t roll your eyes at me! My Millennium Falcon cake stands were a NEED for my Star …

Read more

Disney Star Wars Rebels party celebrating the release of Star Wars Rebels #sparkrebellion #shop

Disney Star Wars Rebels Party

This Disney Star Wars Rebels party has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. It’s no secret that Star Wars is the dominate force in the Schuplin household. Much to Daddy Michael’s chagrin. I hosted a Star Wars baby shower for my sister. Then, earlier this year, I threw …

Read more

Watermelon shots are a creative way to serve drinks to your party guests #SweetNLowStars #client

Watermelon Shots

I made watermelon shots with Sweet’N Low as part of a series of sponsored posts for Socialstars. #SweetNLowStars I haven’t quite figured out where the idea for watermelon shots came from, but I woke up one morning with the crazy idea for something fun. And I’m not talking about Go Fish and finger painting. Fun for grown-ups. Pregnancy dreams? Probably. …

Read more

Michael playing in the sand at the SEA LIFE Michigan sandbreaking event held at Great Lakes Crossing. #SEALIFEMI

SEA LIFE Michigan

I am a parent ambassador for SEA LIFE Michigan. And let me tell you, Michael is stoked about this project! <insert school girl giggles here> These days it seems like Michael is famous. You will find him in articles on MLive, The Oakland Press, and even in a video from the Detroit Free Press. His recent stardom can …

Read more

Gluten Free (VERY easy to make paleo) chicken parmesan recipe.

Gluten Free Chicken Parmesan

The other day I had a craving for chicken parmesan and Michael being the willing to do anything if it means I eat real food husband, took me out for chicken parmesan. It was heavenly. It was exactly what I was craving during my period of wanting nothing to do with food. It was at that moment …

Read more

Chicken crust pizza is a great way to get all of the flavors of traditional pizza without any of the gluten. PS- It's really easy to make!

Chicken Crust Pizza

If you are a paleo and/or gluten free household you have probably heard of the revolutionary ‘meatsa pizza’. For many, a meatsa pizza made giving up grains a cinch! It gave the pizza addicts, like myself, hope that we might actually be able to do this. Paleo might work. Paleo is no longer scary. I …

Read more

Surviving a first trimester bleed and seeing the anatomy ultrasound at 18 weeks 5 days pregnant.

First Trimester Bleed

When you are growing a fetus the last thing you want to experience is a first trimester bleed. Is this a miscarriage? Will I have a miscarriage? Why am I bleeding? Did I do something wrong? Was I under too much stress? Did I not eat enough ‘healthy food’? This is all my fault. All my …

Read more

Serve your gluten free chicken stir-fry with garden fresh vegetables for a different dish each time. (One quick ingredient switch will make this recipe paleo.)

Gluten Free Chicken Stir-Fry

Do not click away before saving this gluten free chicken stir-fry recipe SOMEWHERE. Pinterest. Facebook. Bookmarks. I don’t care how you do it, just save it. You will NOT regret it. This is the SECOND meal I have enjoyed since May. Yes, May! Which also happens to include eggs. Eggs that didn’t upset my oh so …

Read more

Living in fear due to spotting old blood after a threatened miscarriage.

Living in Fear

I am just going to write because I am not quite sure how to begin talking about the fear going on in my head right now. Today (8/11/14) I am living in fear for the fetus residing in my womb. I have reached the point of this pregnancy where I am emotionally exhausted. I am in …

Read more