Tales From a Horrible Housewife

Do you ever feel like you are a less than stellar mom or wife? Well,  I am here to tell you that looks can be deceiving.  The woman with a yard straight from the pages of Better Homes and Garden… is secretly a hoarder. The women making desserts that rival Martha Stewart… has dirty laundry up to her ceiling. And don’t get me started about the cooks you see on The Food Network! Those cooks haven’t cleaned their toilet in months!

Maybe this just explains my housewife blog, but if you could remotely relate to this full time housewife… you have found somewhere to belong! This is a place where mediocre is OK and stereotypical housewives are frowned upon, so embrace your flaws and pour some wine!

*CHEERS*

The Stella Video Monitor by Levana comes with 2 cameras so you can see your toddler's entire room

When Toddlers Think No One is Watching

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Levana. The opinions and text are all mine. Never in a million years did I think I would utter these words. Heck, I can’t believe I am able to write about this type of product in a way that isn’t making fun of myself for …

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A fruity mimosa bar is the perfect drink recipe for your next yellow and white party #SweetNLowStars #client

Fruity Mimosa Bar

I put together this fruity mimosa bar with Sweet’N Low as part of a series of sponsored posts for Socialstars. #SweetNLowStars Are babies not the best reason for a party? I mean, who doesn’t enjoy a chubby little person with the cutest, gummiest smile? A smile so precious you are able to look past the eau de sour milk for …

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Stingrays swimming around the 35,000-square-foot SEA LIFE Aquarium in Auburn Hills, MI #SEALIFEMI

SEA LIFE Aquarium Opens January 29th

Let me tell you about the time I went to the SEA LIFE aquarium 36 weeks pregnant… True story. Do you know what Braxton Hicks contractions feel like? Huh? Do ya? Oh goodness is the big day closing in! (For myself and the aquarium!) I slay myself. Okay, so yesterday morning I strapped myself into one …

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Groot cupcake tutorial for a Guardians of the Galaxy party

Groot Cupcakes

I am so proud of these effers! For real. Like, I wanted to share my Groot cupcakes right after the Guardians of the Galaxy party but I had to transform my house into a winter wonderland for Christmas. And put up 2 trees. And put up 10 tubs of decorations. And spend time with my family. …

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Dollar store crafts that will make your superhero party awesome- superhero capes, masks, and city buildings

Superhero Party Ideas

This is gonna be a good one. Like, wire your jaw shut right meow because you will be shocked once I explain how dirt cheap a superhero party can be. Who would have thunk it, amirite? When I decided to throw a Guardians of the Galaxy party, I was all “How will I ever pay …

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Quick and easy baked egg bowl recipe

Baked Egg Bread Bowl

I want you to take a minute and think about all of the possibilities a baked egg bread bowl provides. I mean really think. Embrace your imagination! No imagination? Alright, fine. You can serve baked egg bread bowls for breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, middle of the night cravings, and any party with breakfast items on the …

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Easy party food for a Christmas party #EasyAsPotPie #ad

Christmas Party with Marie Callender’s Pot Pies

This Christmas party has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #EasyAsPotPie #CollectiveBias I know Christmas is a hop, skip, and a jump away but I had to share a last minute Christmas party plan with you because it’s SO easy. Would you believe me if I said this is …

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Gamora cupcake with orb cupcake topper tutorial for a Guardians of the Galaxy party

Gamora Cupcakes

The time has come for me to share my first Guardians of the Galaxy party idea- Gamora cupcakes with orb cupcake toppers! Hooray! Well… if party planning or nerdy things get you off, that is. Or maybe you are experiencing a double whammy of pleasure? I do enjoy doubling your pleasure whenever the opportunity presents itself. …

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Rewarding my toddler with money for playing with his 'best mop ever' Christmas gift #CleanForTheHolidays #ad

Michael’s ‘Best Mop Ever’!

Michael’s best mop Christmas gift has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone.#CleanForTheHolidays #CollectiveBias Have you ever thought about the perks of being a parent? I mean, REALLY thought about why we decide to accept responsibility for another human being. Outside of the obvious refined persuasion tactics and the ability …

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Guardians of the Galaxy party ideas- Groot cupcakes, orb cupcake toppers, Gamora cupcakes, infinity stones and more #OwnTheGalaxy #ad

Guardians of the Galaxy Party

This Guardians of the Galaxy party has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #OwnTheGalaxy #CollectiveBias I don’t know if you keep up with superhero gossip but Guardians of the Galaxy is finally out on DVD, and daaaaang, Disney! Good work! I did everything from ugly pregnant cry in the beginning …

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A snickerdoodle cocktail is a great way to make Christmas morning coffee special #SweetNLowStars #client

Snickerdoodle Cocktail

I made this snickerdoodle cocktail with Sweet’N Low as part of a series of sponsored posts for Socialstars. #SweetNLowStars I have a confession to make… I am capable of full blown toddler tantrums when it comes to Christmas morning. When I was younger I would sleep in my brother’s bed on Christmas Eve because his room was on the first floor- …

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I hate Facebook notifications

I Hate Facebook

I hate just about everything about Facebook. I hate notifications. I hated hearing “Mommy, put your phone down”. I hate the instant gratification monsters it has created. I hate how sensitive it has made people because so much context is lost in a status update. I hated reading about dying babies and ebola. I hate …

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Staying up late addressing our Christmas cards from Snapfish

What Does Your Christmas Card Say about You?

I swear, October and November are all “Call the photographer!” “We need to go shopping!” “OMG, we will never get our Christmas cards out in time!”. So much goes into a card that who the heck knows if the recipients even keep! (I totally keep the ones with pictures. Because, pictures.) Don’t get me wrong, …

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Chocolate peanut butter Peanut Hottie baby food jar holiday party favors

Holiday Party Favors

I have a holiday party favor that knows exactly how to push your oh so precious, knee buckling button. It starts with a bit of peanut butter. (Yes!) Then it teases you with some chocolate. (Mmhmmm!) And finally, it leaves you feeling youthful with gooey marshmallows. (Oh myy!) Chocolate. Peanut butter. Chocolate. Chocolate. Marshmallow. Peanut butter. …

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Setting the table for a simple Christmas dinner

Easy Christmas Dinner Entertaining

The Schuplins have big plans for Christmas dinner this year! Yippee! This is the first year we are implementing our own holiday traditions in an effort to reduce our holiday stress. Gone are the days of traveling to 3 parties on Christmas day. I’m over it. I know some people truly enjoy party jumping, but …

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OREO cookie party ideas- cookie decorating tips, OREO cookie recipes, dollar store decor, and more #OREOCookieBalls #ad

OREO Cookie Party

This OREO cookie party has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #CollectiveBias #OREOCookieBalls It’s the most wonderful time of the year It’s the hap-happiest season of all One of my strongest desires is to create holiday magic for Michael. I want him to grow up with fond memories of …

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Elmo birthday party ideas- red chocolate covered cookies with candy noses and eyes

Elmo Birthday Party

In case you are new around this party joint, our Thanksgiving party is always paired with Leah’s birthday party, and her current love affair is with Elmo. Challenge accepted! I pulled out my red tote and started planning all things Elmo… on a budget. Like, a major budget because I was technically spending someone else’s money. I …

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Starting my pinup hairstyle with the Infiniti Pro by Conair® Curl Secret® #HeartMyHair #shop

Easy Pinup Hairstyle from Everyday Looks

This pinup hairstyle tutorial has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. I have stomached through months of awkward bobby pin riddled ponytails because I committed to letting my hair grow during my pregnancy. You see, I adore the classic looks from back in the day, but you need longer …

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Thanksgiving party ideas for the hostess who doesn't want to spend the entire morning in the kitchen and who also loves beautiful decorations

Thanksgiving Party Ideas

The Schuplin Thanksgiving party is special. So, so special because we celebrate Thanksgiving and Leah’s birthday all in one, extravagant shindig. Did you catch that? I’m talking about the type of large and in charge that would send a normal person to the funny farm. It totally gives me a run for my party planner money. …

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Night vision on the Motorola Baby Monitor #MotorolaBabyMonitor

Color Me Unprepared: My Battle with Nesting

Some women love nesting. They find pleasure in tiny booties neatly lined up on a nursery shelf. Their nurseries look like the Pinterest board they crafted before it was remotely time to squat over a pee stick. They proudly display the beauty of pregnancy on their wall by means of a belly cast. They were destined to …

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This snickerdoodle cookies recipe is my favorite cookie recipe

Snickerdoodle Cookies

Very few recipes have the ability to transform me into a rapid dog. You know, the recipes you cook in the middle of the night to avoid the vultures. The recipes I shove in my face as I prepare them because they are just THAT GOOD. I do not play well when it comes to snickerdoodle cookies. …

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Cranberry cinnamon cocktail recipe for Thanksgiving dinner #SweetNLowStars #client

Cranberry Cinnamon Drink Recipe

I made this cranberry cinnamon drink recipe with Sweet’N Low as part of a series of sponsored posts for Socialstars. #SweetNLowStars Autumn is my favvvvvorite season. I love the cozy clothes, warm smells, perfect temperatures, and the decor! So much yes when it comes to autumn decor! I make apple crisp on the regular. We single handily support the apple orchards …

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Artists have created exciting themed enviroments for the SEA LIFE Michigan Aquarium #SEALIFEMI

SEA LIFE Michigan Aquarium

If you are just joining my journey, I am a parent ambassador for SEA LIFE Michigan Aquarium. It’s that time again, folks! Time to get pumped. Time to revert back one’s 8 year old self because the SEA LIFE Michigan Aquarium has begun to fill up its 120,000 gallon ocean tank! Last Friday, I joined a lucky group of children, …

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Here is a simple recipe for baked parmesan fries

Gluten Free Baked Parmesan Fries

They say pregnancy cravings are one way to tell what the sex of your baby will be. Except… there are no studies that tells you what happens when you don’t crave a darn thing. Like, nadda. Does that mean I am brewing up a mighty fine invisible baby? Could it be the next Superman? Who knows. …

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Learning how to manage toddler eczema over the years

Toddler Eczema Follow-Up

I participated in an Influencer Activation Program on behalf of Influence-Central to talk about toddler eczema for #AveenoEczemaTherapy. I received a sample to facilitate my review and a thank you item for participating. Toddler eczema has rocked my mommy world from the very moment my goodies were sliced and diced. So many tears. So many guilty nights. …

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Adding the duct tape handles to the DIY lightsabers

DIY Lightsabers

You should not be allowed to throw a Star Wars party without lightsabers. There, I said it! Just call me Judgy-Mc-Judgy Pants. Sorry, not sorry. Lightsabers belong at a Star Wars party like spiced rum goes with cider, and cankles come with pregnancy. Sooooo… let me show you how to be ‘the bestest mom I got’ on …

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Stormtrooper and lightsaber cupcakes for a Disney Star Wars Rebels party #sparkrebellion #shop

DIY Millennium Falcon Cake Stand

Let’s talk about how high maintenance I can be for a minute. I might shower an undisclosed number of times each week, but there are certain things I cannot live without. Like, NARS concealer and obsessive party details. Don’t roll your eyes at me! My Millennium Falcon cake stands were a NEED for my Star …

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Disney Star Wars Rebels party celebrating the release of Star Wars Rebels #sparkrebellion #shop

Disney Star Wars Rebels Party

This Disney Star Wars Rebels party has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. It’s no secret that Star Wars is the dominate force in the Schuplin household. Much to Daddy Michael’s chagrin. I hosted a Star Wars baby shower for my sister. Then, earlier this year, I threw …

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