Tales From a Horrible Housewife

Do you ever feel like you are a less than stellar mom or wife? Well,  I am here to tell you that looks can be deceiving.  That woman with a yard straight from the pages of Better Homes and Garden… is secretly a hoarder. That women who makes desserts rivaling Martha Stewart… has dirty laundry up to her ceiling. And don’t get me started about those cooks you see on The Food Network! Those cooks haven’t cleaned their toilet in months!

Maybe this just explains my housewife blog, but if you could remotely relate to this full time housewife… you have found somewhere to belong! This is a place where mediocre is OK and stereotypical housewives are frowned upon, so embrace your flaws and pour some wine!

*CHEERS*

Upcycled cupcake tower craft tutorial explaining how to turn an empty diaper box, vegetable can, and Gerber snack food container into cute party decorations. #lifeforless #PMedia #ad

Upcycled Cupcake Tower

This upcycled cupcake tower is part of a social shopper marketing insight campaign with Pollinate Media Group® and All You Magazine, but all my opinions are my own. #pmedia #lifeforless http://my-disclosur.es/OBsstV. What would you say if I told you these cupcake stands were made from recycled materials? And I don’t mean plastic made from recycled materials. …

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Step by step instructions showing you how to create a simple Pinot Grigio Chicken recipe with a side of cauliflower rice. #FlightSong

Pinot Grigio Chicken

“I participated in an Ambassador Program on behalf of Millennial Central for Brancott Estate Wines. I received product samples to facilitate my Pinot Grigio Chicken recipe as well as a promotional item to thank me for my participation.” Wine sits pretty high on my love scale. Think… on the same level as my child and camera. I know there is one …

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Setting up and using the Logitech Harmony Smart Keyboard is a breeze. #HarmonySmartKeyboard

Logitech Harmony Smart Keyboard at Best Buy

The reviewer has been compensated in the form of a Best Buy Gift Card and/or received the product/service at a reduced price or for free. I’m not a gambling woman but the odds that you are reading the latest edition of Talk to Nerdy to Me from a portable device, with the TV on in the …

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Find out how easy it is to call on your inner dinner ninja and get Easter dinner on the table in no time! #HoneyBakedEaster #sponsored

Dinner Ninja

You guys. Someone offered me money and food to give up one of my party secrets. Seriously. One of my party secrets! The things I do for money are inching me closer to straight floozy status! Meh, the Schuplins gotta eat, amirite? And I know you guys follow along so well that you are up …

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How to be the perfect housewife- Vacuum daily in heels. #EurekaPower #shop

How to Be the Perfect Housewife

I am a member of the Collective Bias® Social Fabric® Community. The confession of my new cleaning, vacuuming, perfect housewife lifestyle has been compensated as part of a social shopper amplification for Collective Bias and its advertiser. I’ve been living a bit of a lie as of late. OK, maybe not a lie… more like …

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Paleo Almond Joy Bark (step by step) recipe in a spring themed bark mold. Perfect for Easter treats! #goodcookcom #goodcookkitchenexprt

Paleo Almond Joy Bark

Dudes. I don’t know about you but back in the day I would throw down on the Almond Joys… all day, every day. And there was a science to my Almond Joy consumption. It was required that I bite the Almond Joy precisely in the middle of the almond so I had equal parts almond …

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Cat poop doesn't stand a chance against my Litter Genie. #pmedia #petparents #ad

An Open Letter to Cat Poop

“This post is part of a social shopper marketing insight campaign with Pollinate Media Group™ and Litter Genie, but all my opinions are my own. #pmedia #petparents http://my-disclosur.es/OBsstV.” I almost titled this post cat poop. Just plain cat poop. I mean, why not get straight to the point, right? The thought still haunts me but I felt …

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Pineapple mango salsa recipe that will be used as 'dressing' on a paleo taco salad.

Paleo Taco Salad and Pineapple Mango Salsa

At one point in my life I loved everything about tacos, especially the beans. I loved me some beans! Then I started my semi-paleo journey… goodbye my precious beans, tortillas, and cheese. It was torture! And like most paleo households, I slowly started introducing my favorite foods ‘other people consider healthy’ (like beans) back into …

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Just in time for Easter! Step by step craft (with pictures) explaining how to create these hidden chocolate carrots. #EatMoreBites #shop

Hidden Chocolate Carrots

I am a member of the Collective Bias® Social Fabric® Community. This hidden chocolate carrots craft has been compensated as part of a social shopper amplification for Collective Bias and its advertiser. Easter, also known as creepy bunny man season, is upon us and that means parents everywhere are counting down the days until their …

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Blogger Burnout cocktail recipe

Blogger Burnout Cocktail

Blogger Burnout is special. Special like the time your bestie hacked your account and confessed your love for no-wipers… Oh, that has yet to happen to you? Ha! Just wait until you leave your social media tether unattended this May. Unless, of course, you are a potty publisher. Potty publishers are a little trickier to …

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Easy paleo bacon and asparagus dinner recipe

Paleo Bacon and Asparagus Dinner

I am a member of the Collective Bias® Social Fabric® Community. This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper amplification for Collective Bias and its advertiser. Have you ever heard the saying ‘nothing good ever came easy’? Kitchen experiments, like this paleo bacon and asparagus dinner, can end a few ways: pizza, …

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Paleo Meal Plan- Orange Chicken

Paleo Meal Plan #1

I know you guys think I force my household to eat cardboard but cardboard isn’t gluten free sooo… yeah… My fellow ripped hoohaa ladies asked me to share what a normal paleo meal plan looks like for the Schuplin household so here I am… opening the floodgates on what’s good and what isn’t. My mission …

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Spring fashion- Coral earrings from Simply Vera Vera Wang at Kohl's

Spring Fashion- Rolled Cuff Denim to Feminine Date

 “I participated in a campaign on behalf of Mom Central Consulting for spring fashion at Kohl’s. I received a Kohl’s gift card to facilitate my post and as a thank you for participating.” I live in yoga pants. Like, 90% of my life is spent in a 13% elastic, 87% cotton blend of comfort. Try it …

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Marriage survival kit for a funny bride and groom

Marriage Survival Kit

Wedding season is upon us and that means Pinterest is about to barf wedding all over the place as doe eyed women finalize their perfect wedding. My fellow been there, done that ladies know what’s up. Instead of the bridesmaids stressing over the contents of her wedding day survival kit (White Out and chalk for …

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A geekmom swimming in LEGO Duplo blocks

GeekMom Status

Confession- I am a closet geek on her way to becoming a full blown geekmom. I put my geek to bed a long time ago because I needed to become a grown-up. You know, the people who read newspapers while drinking coffee. Lies. I traded the 20 hours a day I spent playing my favorite …

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Berbere salmon with new potatoes and kale recipe from Plated

Berbere Salmon with New Potatoes and Kale

I was slightly peer pressured into preparing a berbere salmon recipe this week. And by slightly, I totally mean Facebook ads kept taunting me with a sweet Plated deal. I don’t get it. Facebook forgets to notify me when a friend tags me in an unflattering picture but you bet your perfectly toned tushies I see …

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Buffalo Chicken Dip recipe using Frank's RedHot

Buffalo Chicken Dip

I know buffalo chicken dip isn’t a new concept in this Pinterest driven world but I felt compelled to explain the whole blue cheese thing to my fellow picky eaters. Mmmmkay? I equate my feelings towards blue cheese to how I would feel if I were to find gold, or something else that could be …

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Sangria party ideas

Sangria Party

“I participated in an Influencer Program on behalf of Mom Central Consulting for Eppa SupraFruta Sangria. I received product samples to facilitate to my review and a promotional item to thank me for participating.” What do you get when you mix a never ending polar vortex with  a party addict dreaming of the upcoming swimsuit season? Duh! You get …

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DIY wine cork coasters and wine themed Scrabble coasters

Wine Cork Coasters

This comes as no surprise to you crazy cats, but I umm… am throwing a sangria party tomorrow. I know, I know, I will never drop my holiday 15 if I keep getting down with the get down. It’s just that… well… you see, it’s all in the name of sangria. Sangria and super rad …

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Star Wars birthday party

Star Wars Birthday Party

I don’t know about you guys but I am over all of the Star Wars birthday party ideas flooding Pinterest and Etsy. Don’t get me wrong, I used similar concepts in my Star Wars baby shower but they are very childlike and sooo not what I wanted for this party. Nope! I wanted to get Star Wars …

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Valentine's Day card for your new sister-in-law

DIY Valentine’s Day Card {Welcoming a Sister-in-Law}

Buying me a store bought Valentine’s Day card is sort of like saying, “I love you enough to be my booty call, but you will never make it as my Mrs.” Amiright or amiright? And all these years you thought running into Rite Aid before a birthday party and grabbing some generic birthday card was …

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Burlap wedding decorations for a country chic wedding

Country Chic Wedding

Welcome to the country chic wedding mi madre put together for one of my real life besties. I wasn’t lying when I told you guys party planning races through my veins like a Corvette Stingray on an open road. It’s madness, I tell ya. Absolute party planning madness when we get together. But I dig it. I …

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Football party idea- Slow cooker cheese dip and 7 layer dip in a football tray #onebuyforall #shop #cbias

Manwich Cheese Dip

I grew up eating a stupid simple cheese dip recipe that, for some reason, is called engineer dip. Don’t ask me how it got the name engineer dip because I have no flippin’ clue.  I mean, it would make sense if our family was chockful of engineers, or this recipe required a ton of engineering. …

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Shay Strong- Shay Strikes Back

Shay Strong {A Lesson in Online Community}

Yesterday, I joined my sister on an adventure supporting Shay Strong that got me thinking about online community, and how we are able to impact people with our story. Our story isn’t always easy but it is ours to tell. And let’s not forget how often we forget you must have lows in order to see …

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How to create a Dark Romance Valentine's Day- surround a dark purple floral centerpiece with votive candles

Dark Romance Valentine’s Day

“This review is based strictly on my opinion. Others may have a different opinion or experience with the product listed above. I was provided the sample free of charge by the company or PR agency and I provided my honest opinion. No other type of compensation was received for this review.”   Are you ready for …

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DIY purple paper lantern tutorial for a dark romance Valentine's Day tablescape or purple party.

DIY Paper Lantern Chandelier

Okay, so I’m working with Oriental Trading on a bitchin’ dark romance Valentine’s Day tablescape and you know me, my brain can’t process a simple party plan. It’s like I was hardwired for chaos, or something. So, yanno, I put together a paper lantern chandelier for the focal point of my party. Because that’s what normal people automatically …

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