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Aug 14

Failure to Achieve Work-Gasm or Orgasm?

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So I thought this Mad Housewife wine would be good…

I thought it was funny and relevant to my life…
It was $6.77 at Walmart…

Have I mentioned that I am not a fan of California wine? Well I am but I am pretty loyal to wine out of Argentina and Chile. So much so that I freaked when the earthquake hit Chile back in 2010. Before you get your panties in a bunch I was worried about the people too.

Ripe cherries, mint, and mocha characterize this soft, beautiful expression of the grape.  The bouquet offers an explosion of sweet preserves while the palate is delighted with the smooth, lush sensations of silky Cabernet.

My tush does it have a sweet bouquet and is smooth! As I sit here trying to compose my thoughts on this wine I fail to find any positives outside of the packaging. It is awful! So awful that I might just drink the whole bottle as I am sampling it trying to pick flavors and scents out for you.

My thoughts are…

  • Very acidic.
  • The finish is pretty bitter.
  • The aroma (nose) is not rich and does not scream drink me!
  • Even after sitting in the decanter it did not come around.
Honestly it tastes like a batch of our homemade wine that is too young for drinking. While that wine is too young to drink, six months later it blossoms into a beautiful butterfly!

 

I don’t normally drink during the week, I swear, but since tomorrow is National Relaxation Day I picked up a bottle, cracked it open and watched White Collar with the Mr. He was sort of hoping I would drink the majority of it so he would get some sexy time but it tastes like a cat peed in my mouth so he was incredibly disappointed and I was so not horny! So no work-gasm or orgasm in the Schuplin household tonight!
Now that is good marketing if I do say so myself! It got me to try it instead of buying my trusty Malbec tonight. That is all that it has going for it though. I will probably cook with the rest of the bottle. Or I might casually sip on it for the next hour since I am far too lazy to get up and get water like I want too. :)
No, this isn’t a sponsored post because I bought the wine myself. I wish someone would pay me to drink wine! Hey all of you PR people… pick me, pick me!

 

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About the author

Mallery

I'm not perfect and I'm OK with it. I pick my battles so I have ammunition when it is something I really want. I still can't believe Michael takes me out in public because I have zero tact and curse like a sailor.

7 comments

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  1. Lyuba

    You are too funny! I do like California wine but I don’t like Cabernet. I definitely will not be trying this one, even if the label is hilarious!
    Lyuba recently posted..Roasted Bell Pepper HummusMy Profile

    [Reply]

  2. **Nicole**

    Hey I totally just watched White Collar too :) It’s one of the few shows I actually make time for-though I’m always a season behind because I watch it on Netflix :) and haha about the wine! :D
    **Nicole** recently posted..I Love FootballMy Profile

    [Reply]

    Mallery Reply:

    That is one of our must watch shows.

    [Reply]

  3. Chrissy

    I have a bottle of this wine. I was given it as a gift about two years ago and it sits on my wine console in the basement. I probably won’t drink it now, BUT it’s a great conversation piece. :)
    Chrissy recently posted..Taylor House Thursday #21My Profile

    [Reply]

    Mallery Reply:

    I agree on the conversation piece and the cork is one to show off. :)

    [Reply]

  4. Amber Edwards

    Oh goodness I laughed so hard!
    I’m not a drinker at all, but even that label would have me curious myself!

    Man, I am jealous you got to watch White Collar. I Love that show. I usually watch one episode a night on netflix before going to bed. I missed it the last 2 nights. :(
    Amber Edwards recently posted..A Year Supply of Diapers and more Give Away!My Profile

    [Reply]

    Mallery Reply:

    Glad to have found another White Collar fan! The cork was just as fantastic as the bottle so I think I will buy the sweet red just for the funny cork. Marketing is an amazing thing. :)

    [Reply]

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