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Aug 23

We Survived 13 Months of Parenthood!

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Yesterday was Michael’s year appointment despite the fact that he is 13 months. I wouldn’t want you to miss out on yesterday’s Dads say the darnedest things post either! The woman told me not to schedule his year appointment a few days before his birthday party because some kids might be annoyed with life after it and I can see why. To sum it all up- that poor child! He got 4 shots and a blood draw so I assumed my night would be spent nursing a sad baby but I was surprised when he was just fine. I breed real men! HA!

Stats:

  • 29.2 pounds (off the charts)
  • 32 inches tall (98th percentile)
  • 18.5 head (75th percentile)
So is this a prediction of his future? Is he going to be a dumb jock? *GASP* Oh his Dad is going to kill me when he reads that! Good thing he doesn’t read anything that I write unless I say that he needs to read it because it was hilarious. He usually catches things while he is at work… on the pooper! :)

My tip for to keep your baby happy while they are getting a shot(s) is to keep snacks right on the table during their shot(s). As soon as Michael is done getting poked I pull out a snack and distract him with food. The older kids get suckers so my methods are the same and they happen to work like a charm!

Food did not work when it came to his blood draw though and this is where having a strong baby is a downfall. Michael is a beast, in case you missed that memo I thought I would remind you, and when you mix a beast with pissed off you get the Hulk. Did you know that when you take a baby to get their blood drawn you have to hold on to their arm and keep it straight? That is easier said than done!

Michael bent his arm up, not once, but TWICE with the needle in his arm. He had to be poked TWICE in the same arm because the first one came out!! Oh that breaks my heart because I know what that feels like! Food could not hide how pissed off he was at the whole situation. Daddy always has to go back to work for the hard parts of the appointments so I can’t get the pictures to show you what I am talking about. How convenient right?

Needles:
  • Flu shot
  • Hep A
  • PCV13
  • Chicken pox
  • Blood draw to test for anemia and lead levels

He checked out just fine with his whole appointment, except for his penis. I guess I need to push his skin back daily so it doesn’t stick together. He was pretty confused when the doctor did it because that is not what it feels like when he plays with his penis! If he is naked, he is playing with his penis and I think that It is pretty funny until he does it at school or somewhere he shouldn’t. I would die laughing if his next word is penis because I always tell him that he is playing with his penis. His little penis is all red today which I can only imagine isn’t comfortable.

Did you count how many times I used penis in that paragraph? I hope I don’t get in trouble hahahaha!

Fingers crossed we aren’t back before he goes in for his 15 month appointment!

 

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About the author

Mallery

My name is Mallery and I am a recovering workaholic. I curse like a sailor. I'm a mix of obsessive and awkward. I talk about bowel habits more than I should and I enjoy wine, gaming, and tattoos.

4 comments

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  1. Lena

    This is pretty funny. My son was in 90′s on his hight, but he was very skinny. Still is… And sometimes loses his shorts.

    [Reply]

    Mallery Reply:

    He could always say that it was on purpose. ;)

    [Reply]

  2. Courtney Mora-Ludwig

    OMG ! The Twins are 31 months and Sam just made it to 30lbs. Jay is still 26 or 27 lbs depending on how much gluten he has eaten that day. They are 36 inches tall which is not too bad either. Poor Jay is 10% for his height/weight. You don’t just breed Real Men – you breed BIG BOYS.

    [Reply]

    Mallery Reply:

    He better be the next Brett Farve or something. haha

    [Reply]

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