The Horrible Housewife is finally reporting for duty! Sir, yes sir! Yeah right, Michael wishes I was that submissive. I gave you guys a sneak peek of my Horrible Housewife photo shoot before I went all MIA. I am now ready to share more of the madness that includes lots and lots of wine. The question is… are YOU ready for part one of the photo shoot winners?
I saw a picture of a housewife putting things on a clothes line and got the brilliant idea to hang panties on the line! Now don’t let my overwhelming brilliance suffocate you because I mean no harm, but panties and ‘housewife skirts’ are the perfect combination for sassy. I will now be branding myself as sassy. Yup, that’s my thing now.
“Mallery! You need to get on the lawn mower and take some pictures!”
Lindsay’s mom and her crew became the newest, hottest set directors that this horrible housewife had ever seen; they were cracking up as we moved through our scenes. It really was a jolly good time for everyone involved. Well… maybe not the babysitter. Uncle Tony was a little tired by the time the day was over. 
For the record, it would be a good day in the Schuplin house if my counter looked like this while I was baking. A girl can wish…
My son is my favorite thing in the world, but my cell phone and wine are close in that match. I’m sorry, but wine is a must have when he is crabby. I don’t smoke so I need some sort of vice to preserve my sanity. I will take my Yellow Beaver Society and a good Malbec any day of the week! (I don’t expect you to understand the way of the beavers.)
Have you figured out the theme yet? It’s sort of like a Where’s Waldo picture, but more obvious. I promise I only made it through 1.5 glasses during the Horrible Housewife photo shoot.
Lindsay bought these shoes for a pinup session and even though this was not a pinup session, they came in handy. Let me just say that Michael will have oodles and oodles of porn soon. Classy porn, not that crotch shot, eat my asshole shit. Tube socks are only in our house for one reason…
Which are your favorite shots from the first part of the Horrible Housewife photo shoot?
Loading tweets...
9 comments
3 pings
Skip to comment form ↓
Lyuba
October 19, 2012 at 8:54 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Omg, you are killing me! You are too funny
I want to see it ALL, you tease! Oh wait, that can be taken the wrong way 
I just LOVE the pumps shot (and the pumps). It’s just perfect with the heels in the kitchen and the tattoos can’s be more perfect. I also love the wine in the laundry shot.
Lyuba recently posted..Amaretto Peach Martini
[Reply]
Kacy
October 19, 2012 at 9:06 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
This is one of the (many) reasons why I love you!! I love the John Deere shot! I gotta grab your photographer for some funny family photos!!!
[Reply]
Mommy Test Drive
October 19, 2012 at 11:26 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
OMG, you are hilarious! Love the nails and the pumps
Mommy Test Drive recently posted..Adventures in Nanny Hunting
[Reply]
Jeanette
October 19, 2012 at 1:12 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I agree with Lyuba! The kitchen shot is fantabulous and the tattoos add so much. Love! ♥
Jeanette recently posted..Senteur Exotics has your fall scents covered
[Reply]
Meagan Paullin
October 19, 2012 at 1:59 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
These are awesome!!! I’ve been thinking about having a photographer in town come to the house to do some fun photos to use – this really motivates me to get on it!!!
Meagan Paullin recently posted..Teach Your Kids Kindness During Anti-Bullying Month
[Reply]
Kristina Nunez
October 19, 2012 at 5:38 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Haha. You’re too funny. I love all your pics but I think my favorite is the one on the lawn mower
[Reply]
Joyce@MommyTalkShow
October 19, 2012 at 9:43 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
The wine and cell phone are my favorite to be honest.
You’re singing my type of song.
I love my cell phone so much that my husband proposed by leaving my engagement ring on my phone because he knew I was attached to it! LOL!
Joyce@MommyTalkShow recently posted..Guest Post: 6 Survival Tips from The Stressed Mom
[Reply]
JanetGoingCrazy
October 25, 2012 at 12:14 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
First thing I noticed (and then I looked away while your boy was grabbing the wine glass #childsafetyspecialist) was the Diet Dr. Pepper photo bomb next to the kitchen cabinet!
JanetGoingCrazy recently posted..Going Green on Halloween!! #HoppinHalloween Giveaway Hop – Ends 10/31
[Reply]
Mallery
October 25, 2012 at 12:17 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I will explain why that is so funny in another post. It’s like you are a mind reader!
You + Me = ESPN
Mallery recently posted..Behind The Scenes- Horrible Housewife Photo Shoot
[Reply]
Behind The Scenes- Horrible Housewife Photo Shoot - Horrible Housewife | Horrible Housewife
October 24, 2012 at 1:10 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
[...] « What Makes a Housewife Horrible Photo Shoot Successful? [...]
Horrible Housewife Photo Shoot Finals- Part 1 - Horrible Housewife | Horrible Housewife
October 25, 2012 at 1:11 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
[...] know you guys have antsy pants as I slowly tempt you with pictures from the Horrible Housewife photo shoot. I am sure there is someone out there that really is tempted by this housewife overload. Actually, [...]
The Horrible Housewife Photo Shoot Finale - Horrible Housewife | Horrible Housewife
October 30, 2012 at 1:24 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
[...] Was it a shot from the ‘details’ portion? [...]