«

»

Nov 02

Are You Too Comfortable with Your Spouse?

952 Flares Twitter 26 Facebook 1 Google+ 2 Pin It Share 0 StumbleUpon 923 Email -- Filament.io 952 Flares ×

Text message between a husband and wife- too comfortable with your spouse

I really think this screenshot explains itself, but it might not to some of you ‘pure souls’ so I will elaborate on why I am too comfortable with my spouse.

We’ve never once shut a bathroom door while living together. In fact, you will find Michael walking into the bathroom to see how my pooping is going and he will start a conversation about his day with me. I, on the other hand, can hear him grunting away as I sit in the family room working, it doesn’t even phase me. Maybe it is my personality that made us this way, but he hasn’t ever insisted that we close the doors so I am not taking all of the blame for this. Neither one of us has much any shame.

Now that you are caught up on our history, here’s the story behind the text message.

Michael recently had to go out of state for work, which throws off his poop schedule a little bit. This isn’t a HUGE issue because he normally drives down to Indiana alone. This time he wasn’t that lucky; this time the head of HR was traveling with him and the likelihood for a hot mess was high! <~ Get it? Hot mess? Ha!

Why was I lucky to be pooping? He was jealous because he was all backed up since pooping is all about the location, the real estate and the surroundings. (Please tell me someone else watches The Big Bang Theory!)

Why wasn’t I lucky to be pooping? Pooping out of a ripped asshole hurts, it hurts bad! What can I say though? I make big babies and big turds! I know you were thinking dirty sex thoughts… perverts! :)

So tell me, are you too comfortable with your spouse?

952 Flares Twitter 26 Facebook 1 Google+ 2 Pin It Share 0 StumbleUpon 923 Email -- Filament.io 952 Flares ×

About the author

Mallery

My name is Mallery and I am a recovering workaholic. I curse like a sailor. I'm a mix of obsessive and awkward. I talk about bowel habits more than I should and I enjoy wine, gaming, and tattoos.

11 comments

Skip to comment form

  1. mel

    Haha- I love you! This post is awesome! I never close the bathroom door either. Never have ..never will! I love the conversation- Winner!
    mel recently posted..Saturday’s Top Five Laughs- Come Join Our Blog Hop!My Profile

    [Reply]

  2. Kecia

    This is so a conversation that my hubby and I would have lol. We are probably too comfortable with one another but I wouldn’t have it any other way!! :)
    Kecia recently posted..Stocking Stuffer Idea: SoftSoap ScentationsMy Profile

    [Reply]

  3. Katie

    Nope, we never do either! LOL

    [Reply]

  4. Christy

    I.would.die! I shut and LOCK the door. B however does not. When I walk in on him pooping, I’m the only one embarrassed. He’ll talk like it’s nothing but a thing. Pooping is my ONLY alone time. Give me this and let me stink up the room in peace!
    Christy recently posted..Don’t Wait for Halloween 2013 to Play "Dress Up" Again!My Profile

    [Reply]

  5. Amy

    I’m more than a little traumatized by this. I fear for the baby when he’s old enough to start arguments with you.
    “I don’t see why I can’t stay out later, Mom!”
    “Because I said so! Do you know what you did to my ass when you were born?”
    Amy recently posted..Does Anyone Write Checks Anymore?My Profile

    [Reply]

  6. Lyuba

    Love Big Bang Theory! You are horrible, I love you!
    Lyuba recently posted..Homemade Fresh Tomato Pasta SauceMy Profile

    [Reply]

  7. Rachael

    I didn’t think being too comfortable with your spouse existed

    [Reply]

  8. Jen

    LOL! :) too funny!
    I still lack the ability to pee in front of my spouse after being together 8yrs!… not because of lack of trying.. my body experiences stage fright.. or “throne” fright, HA! :)

    [Reply]

    Mallery Reply:

    LMAO! Throne fright is just no good. :)

    [Reply]

  9. Tiffany @ The Bizy Mommy

    Pahahahahaha! I love it! We are SO comfortable with each other, it’s really not a big deal. Our toilet and tub are in a separate area to the right of our sink and vanity, and I actually removed the door because it gave me more room for a shelf and hamper, lol. So I can’t close the door even if I wanted to! Besides, it’s just poop. Everyone does it!
    Tiffany @ The Bizy Mommy recently posted..DSLR Giveaway! Enter to win a Nikon D3100 or Canon EOS Rebel T3My Profile

    [Reply]

    Mallery Reply:

    LMAO! Space > privacy!

    [Reply]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv badge