I really think this screenshot explains itself, but it might not to some of you ‘pure souls’ so I will elaborate on why I am too comfortable with my spouse.
We’ve never once shut a bathroom door while living together. In fact, you will find Michael walking into the bathroom to see how my pooping is going and he will start a conversation about his day with me. I, on the other hand, can hear him grunting away as I sit in the family room working, it doesn’t even phase me. Maybe it is my personality that made us this way, but he hasn’t ever insisted that we close the doors so I am not taking all of the blame for this. Neither one of us has
much any shame.
Now that you are caught up on our history, here’s the story behind the text message.
Michael recently had to go out of state for work, which throws off his poop schedule a little bit. This isn’t a HUGE issue because he normally drives down to Indiana alone. This time he wasn’t that lucky; this time the head of HR was traveling with him and the likelihood for a hot mess was high! <~ Get it? Hot mess? Ha!
Why was I lucky to be pooping? He was jealous because he was all backed up since pooping is all about the location, the real estate and the surroundings. (Please tell me someone else watches The Big Bang Theory!)
Why wasn’t I lucky to be pooping? Pooping out of a ripped asshole hurts, it hurts bad! What can I say though? I make big babies and big turds! I know you were thinking dirty sex thoughts… perverts! 🙂