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Dec 30

Wine with Mallery- Why I Fail at Christmas

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Wine with Mallery Day 23 of Wine with Mallery is finally upon us! This is going to be a true Whine Wine with Mallery as I explain to you why I failed at Christmas this year. I sucked so hard that Michael’s well has officially run dry! That right there is pretty freaking sucktastic!

Wine with Mallery cliff notes for those who can’t watch the video…

Wine with Mallery- Why I failed at Christmas (If you are one of the ones who watch the videos you know why my face is SUPER FUN rosy. I can promise you I didn’t wake up and put blush on for the lack of pictures.)

The top 11 reasons I failed this Christmas

  1. I bought gifts the week before Christmas.
  2. I didn’t feel like wrapping said presents. (Daddy Michael’s presents weren’t wrapped.)
  3. Baking consisted of really bad ready to bake cookies.
  4. I couldn’t find matching footed pajamas for our family.
  5. I decorated the house the week before Christmas.
  6. Little Michael didn’t have a stocking.
  7. My Christmas tree OCD showed its ugly face.
  8. I didn’t get a picture of our family all dressed up.
  9. I was so lazy that I barely got any Christmas pictures.
  10. I didn’t send out Christmas cards.
  11. I didn’t even wish you guys a Merry Christmas! PS: Merry Christmas to all of you drunks!

Wine with Mallery- Trader Joe's 2011 J.W. Morris Moscato

Trader Joe’s 2011 J.W. Morris Moscato

You have no idea how much I don’t want to go down in the basement to find this empty wine bottle. I don’t understand why Michael can’t grasp the concept of leaving the empties upstairs until I am done with them. I swear he follows me around so he can pick up after me. Sigh…

So I just dug the bottle out of the GIANT box of empties in the basement. Are you going to be incredibly disappointed if I don’t have anything witty to say about it? Since I am so sucktastic, I am going to say ‘it was good for a sweet wine’. Rarely do I ever buy anything white, let alone anything labeled Moscato. This $3.99 wine was really sweet and fruity that I hate to admit I would buy it again for a dessert wine.

Now don’t go and grab your pitchforks because I am endorsing a sweet, white wine! What’s not to like about a Moscato that is only 10% and it drinks like Juicy Juice? You have my permission to tear it up so go and be drunk!

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About the author

Mallery

My name is Mallery and I am a recovering workaholic. I curse like a sailor. I'm a mix of obsessive and awkward. I talk about bowel habits more than I should and I enjoy wine, gaming, and tattoos.

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  1. Cariann

    if you sucked at Christmas with that list, I really screwed up… Our tree went up on Thursday before Christmas, no Christmas picture of the family, no matching jammies, no baking unless you count the experiments that were blogging related, my youngest had a melt down and the in laws house before brunch was even on the table, I don’t have any pictures from our Christmas evening with the cousins, and I forgot to buy my Dad a present. Thankfully he knows funds were tight this year and was happy to have our annual quiet time chat.
    Cariann recently posted..Mom Fashion , the little black dressMy Profile

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  2. Dede

    Ummmm……I thought most of that list is how Christmas is SUPPOSED to be? I did send out Christmas cards but only because I ordered them as part of a review this year. And as for the rest of the list, I quit taking pictures because looking back, the only thing I ever get is the kids opening packages. That’s no fun.
    Dede recently posted..Fun facts about New Year’sMy Profile

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  3. mel

    Haha- half of those things on your list I didn’t do either. 3/4 of our Christmas gifts weren’t wrapped. I absolutely hate wrapping so I took the lazy route with it. On the other hand, I felt bad when my husbands gift to me, was beautifully wrapped. Fail on my part:) Also, the tree looks beautiful but I so understand the OCD, Hayley decorated our tree with some help from daddy- need I say more. I can’t wait to get it down,lol.

    I need to check out that wine. I love Moscato wines and TJ always has great prices on it.

    Right back at you-Merry Christmas to you and your family!
    mel recently posted..Let’s Fight Fat This Holiday Season!My Profile

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  4. Mariah

    Love this Mallery! Sometimes I feel like I fail at Christmas because I try so hard in a few areas and slack in others!
    Mariah recently posted..Ways to Celebrate New Years Eve with KidsMy Profile

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  5. Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell

    Even though it was last minute, you still got it done and for that you can some “applause”!
    Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell recently posted..Cinnamon Roll Sauce Recipe – Drizzle This on EVERYTHING!My Profile

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  6. Leila

    Okay well apparently this was the year to suck at Christmas because I didn’t do so hot either. Oh well. There’s always next year, right?
    Leila recently posted..Favorite New Years Plans and SnacksMy Profile

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  7. Christy

    Apparently we’re suck-sisters because I bought all of my presents the week before Christmas, except the few I forgot that I went out and bought on Christmas Eve with the meal to cook for the day. I wrapped everything at 1:00 am while my 4 year old son laid in front of the TV not asleep. I think we all do a sucktastic job at something during the holidays. It’s all good. There’s just so much to do and you’re only one person.
    Christy recently posted..My House is Too Full, Too Messy, and Oh-So-HappyMy Profile

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