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Jan 14

Wine with Mallery- Having a Working Housewife at Home

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Wine with Mallery- Living with a Housewife at Home Are you ready for another million dollar question video? Today Michael is talking about what it is like to have a working housewife at home! You are going to find out exactly what it means to live with THE Horrible Housewife and will find out if I live up to my online persona. :)

Wine with Mallery cliff notes for those who can’t watch the video…

Wine with Mallery- Having a housewife at home doesn't mean your house will look like this

You already know I didn’t pick this room up.

Every man out there dreams about having a housewife at home that cleans the house, has dinner on the table when they get home, looks like a supermodel, and sex happens all of the time.`

Pause for laughter…

Does everyone feel better? Good.

Puhleeze! That is only the case if you live with a stereotypical housewife who, by the way, hates her life! (Note: not all of those women hate their lives.) You know, a housewife from the fifties, AKA the polar opposite of me!

Sorry to disappoint you on your housewife fantasy… I lied, I’m not sorry.

Wine with Mallery- Having a housewife at home means your child gets to eat Cheerios off of the floor

Yes, I’m standing on my desk while taking this picture.

Having a {working} housewife at home means…

  • Your toddler learns by wrecking the entire house doing.
  • Your toddler doesn’t have to change out of his pajamas. (Mommy doesn’t.)
  • Your toddler can eat off of the floor. (Grandma disagrees.)
  • Your house looks like someone has been playing in it all day. (Because they have.)
  • Your toddler’s life is documented and shared with the family as it happens.
  • It always seems to be pizza night because your housewife forgot to pull out dinner in the middle of all of the playing and/or working.
  • You don’t buy a lot of gas because your housewife doesn’t leave the house.
  • Have I mentioned the sex is good? Mmmhmmm!

Are you ready for me to get all smarty-pants on you?

Having a housewife at home means you have to know what you care about the most and pick your battles wisely. What is more important to you: a clean house, dinner on the table, sex, a trophy wife, a happy child, or an additional income? Sorry fellas, you can’t have it all!

Ps: You should watch the video if you are looking for something more entertaining than this post. Today has been one of those days Little Michael thinks I don’t need to work. Pffftt! Is it time for him to go to school yet? ;)

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About the author

Mallery

My name is Mallery and I am a recovering workaholic. I curse like a sailor. I'm a mix of obsessive and awkward. I talk about bowel habits more than I should and I enjoy wine, gaming, and tattoos.

11 comments

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  1. Chrysa

    Well, I think “horrible” is in the eye of the beholder! Anyone who can have a toddler look that cute while eating Cheerios off the floor can’t be all bad!
    Chrysa recently posted..Starting My Happy, Healthy New Year with Help from the Walgreens Mobile App #cbiasMy Profile

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  2. Theresa

    Hahaha you are hilarious!
    Theresa recently posted..Littlest Pet Shop: Little Pets, Big Adventures DVD ReviewMy Profile

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  3. Grown and Flown

    Lovely site, you really made me smile. Working at home is working, a lot of work and no one who has ever spent an entire week in the company of a toddler could think otherwise. Enjoy, he look adorable.
    Grown and Flown recently posted..Birthday Celebration as We Turn One!My Profile

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  4. Grown and Flown

    Anyone who has spent an entire week with a toddler knows that it is full time work! This is a lovely blog and a lovely post, enjoy him, he is adorable.
    Grown and Flown recently posted..Birthday Celebration as We Turn One!My Profile

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  5. Jillian

    Hi I really enjoyed reading this post. It did put a smile on my face as it does look similar to mine :)
    Love the pics of your boy with the cereal tossed everywhere and the mouth filled smile.
    Jillian recently posted..To say or not to say…My Profile

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  6. jenae

    LOL OMG This is great. I need tony to watch this video. Im only 4 minutes into it and Tony and I are just like you guys, well except for the child! He is all neat and doesnt have clutter or is messy, while me on the other hand, am messy in more then one room and do have some clutter. I do clean but like you rarely!( which I am trying to change) but when i do clean I DEEP CLEAN ALSO. I dont top clean like the boys do but clean like you hahah. Tony would also like me to have one area or room messy then more then one lol.

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  7. Adelina Priddis

    Lol, I strive to live the 50’s house wife life – not very successfully though. When I get off the iPad I’ll be back to watch the video.
    Adelina Priddis recently posted..Goodnight, Brian by Steven Manchester {Book Review}My Profile

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  8. Christy

    Wow! Y’all truly are polar opposites. That’s funny stuff right there. I have a sudden urge to clean now. Can I come over?
    Christy recently posted..Stepford Wives…Can You Ever Really Recover?My Profile

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  9. Amy

    Yeah, remind me never to accept if you offer me any Cheerios. (I’ll take any wine you have, though.)
    Amy recently posted..Jessner Peel {Before & After}My Profile

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  10. Rose Powell

    That was widely entertaining, you two are clowns and I love it! Thank you for making me feel better, because I’m pretty HORRIBLE myself and to my defense ;^) I was an amazing girlfriend for many many years, and then the kids came and started making tornado of messes and breaking things and that AMAZING GIRLFRIEND didn’t quite make it to wife status! I’m just saying!
    Rose Powell recently posted..Tricalm Review & Giveaway Ends 1/22My Profile

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  11. Cariann

    We decided a long time ago (7 1/2 years ago) that it was worth giving up the extra income and thankfully my husband knows I suck at keeping house (although I am working on it). My boys are educated at home and meals are better than you can get at most locations in town (pubs, eateries, etc..)
    Cariann recently posted..Scripture Sunday 1/6/13My Profile

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