Monthly Archive: February 2013

Feb 27

Accepting Fashion Guru Applications

Why is a 25 year old accepting fashion guru applications? Funny you should ask! I am a hostage of the ever popular yoga pants, better known as the work at home mom’s wardrobe. Yoga pants accommodate my muffin top. They make my ba donk a donk look good. And Let’s not forget that I can sleep, chase my …

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Feb 26

The Story of the Accidental Dutch Oven

I made a deeply regrettable mistake this weekend; I gave myself a dutch oven. I’m not talking about the red pot in my kitchen cupboard, either. I’m talking about the most nauseating stench you have ever experienced in your life. It was so offensive I wanted to check Michael’s pants to see if there was a rotting corpse in …

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Feb 25

Getting My Ba Donk a Donk Back

It’s week 5 of healthy living and my weight loss journey hasn’t been good if you are looking at the scale. If you are looking at my ba donk a donk then you might say this weight loss journey is going very well! Did you know men use the phrase ‘mom butt’ when talking about a …

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Feb 24

Honey Bunches of Oats Recipe {Coconut Cereal Bar}

The word on the street is that you guys are in love with Honey Bunches of Oats recipes. I can’t say I blame you! Who doesn’t like an ooey, gooey marshmallow treat when it is made with your favorite Honey Bunches of Oats cereal? I refuse to accept that I am the only marshmallow treat …

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Feb 22

Adults Only JENGA… No Kids Allowed

Don’t let this kid friendly topic fool you. JENGA is definitely an adults only sort of thing. I will cut you if you even look like you are about to shake the table during my turn! Cut you! And you thought the way I played Monopoly was bad… Why is JENGA Boom an adults only game? I don’t need …

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Feb 21

What She Really Wanted for Valentine’s Day

I told you I would be back with a post about what she really wanted for Valentine’s Day! The top 10 gifts I shared with you last week are good gifts, just not want she really wanted from you. Don’t be a fool two years in a row and save this post for next year! …

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Feb 18

Weight Loss Setbacks

I am fed up with my weight loss setbacks! Whether the setback comes in the form of a funeral, the plague, crazy deadlines, or spur of the moment appointments; setbacks are no longer welcomed here! Good riddance! I have an appointment to get my feathers clipped because these arm wings are getting out of hand. …

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Feb 17

Full Circle of Life

How often do you get a true full circle of life? Sometimes we get a balance of life, and sometimes we get wam-bam-thank you ma’am’d, but how often do we get a legit full circle of life? This time we did. Julius Schensky was born on February 16, 1914 and laid to rest exactly 99 years later; …

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Feb 15

Is Baby First TV a Babysitter?

Am I a bad mom because I use Shushybye on Baby First TV as a babysitter? Not so much. There are worse things I could do like let him play in the street or eat candy from strangers; although, strangers do have the yummiest candy. Pssstt: There is a giveaway at the end of this …

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Feb 14

Ovulating on Valentine’s Day

Babies. We all know and love them… until they rip our vagina. I’m pretty sure a ripped vagina is when the ovulating obsession starts. We become obsessed with when our bodies are ovulating, and avoid sperm like the plague during those times. I hate sperm so much that when I played ‘put the sperm on the …

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