I’m about to get real up in this joint and give away my dirty girl secrets for those wondering how to win Monopoly. (Literally, I am giving away a Monopoly game at the end of this post.)
You might benefit from my Monopoly secrets if…
You are competitive.
You are a sore loser.
You get bored quickly.
You need be in control.
I suck so hard at playing by the rules when it comes to playing Monopoly! There is something about wanting to shove Michael’s face in a loss that gets me all hot and bothered! For real, it isn’t healthy for him to be right and/or win at EVERYTHING in his life! My not so secret mission is to deflate his ego whenever I can to make myself feel better! Your girl needs to be on top sometimes!
How to win Monopoly
- Be a cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater and stash those $500 bills under the board! I consider their money an investment in my mad banking skills and swipe a little off the top to compensate for my time. Haven’t you ever heard that nothing in life is free?
- Roll the dice when someone gets up to go to the bathroom or refill their beer.
- Pad your startup cash a little more than the others and don’t organize your money. If you look like a hot mess, then people will think you are a hot mess. “Swiper, no swiping!”
- I like to develop the orange and red corner because it is the furthest from ‘pass go and collect $200′, therefore, I can make people weep when they land on my properties. I enjoy seeing grown men cry as they try to sweet talk their way out of paying me.
- Form an alliance against the person you want to lose (Michael) and cut everyone, but him, a deal.
- Get your opponents hammered so they don’t bring their A-game. <~ My favorite of the tips.
We have some business to discuss before we get to the giveaway part of this unethical guide of how to win Monopoly. Monopoly is about to oust one of the classic tokens and they need you to go vote on the token you want to hang around. By vote, I mean go pick the top hat and ring. 
I received a copy of the classic Monopoly board game in order to facilitate my review. All opinioins and pictures are my own.
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Jillian
February 5, 2013 at 9:51 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Sadly, I don’t have any
maybe do a very poor shuffle of the chance cards? I’ll need to start using your ideas!
Jillian recently posted..The car you’ve been waiting for – Step2 Easy Turn Coupe + Giveaway
[Reply]
Summer Davis
February 5, 2013 at 9:56 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
OMG. I cheat too!!!! I think you’re probably better at it than I am, but now I know how to DO IT!
Sorry about the hat, I can’t vote for it. My favorite is the thimble. I will, however; vote for the diamond ring. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.
Summer Davis recently posted..Valentine’s Day Outfits on a Budget
[Reply]
Summer Davis
February 5, 2013 at 9:57 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
And my best Monopoly tip? Psh. Play your kids. Win every time.
Summer Davis recently posted..Valentine’s Day Outfits on a Budget
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Krystal M
February 5, 2013 at 10:57 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Mine is simply to try to get as many properties as possible! heh
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janet
February 5, 2013 at 11:34 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Wow, I am so NOT this competitive, probably because I don’t like confrontation. I do; however, think that buying cheap and stacking them with houses and hotels is a good strategy. It will help you win a game a 3am, by lantern light, during a hurricane party!
janet recently posted..Quick & Healthy Dinner Ideas: Italian Dishes with Mashed Cauliflower {plus dessert!}
[Reply]
Sarah Hayes
February 6, 2013 at 2:38 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I dont really know bc im not good at this game! i guess just know when to buy and when to pass
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Ann Fantom
February 6, 2013 at 7:05 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Get hotels on your properties as soon as possible
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Cynthia C
February 6, 2013 at 8:16 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
My tip is to buy up all the properties you can.
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Tamar
February 6, 2013 at 9:53 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Get rich.
I don’t know, I’m not a good player!
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Kate F.
February 6, 2013 at 10:03 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Buy the valuable properties when you have a chance.
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Sara Zielinski
February 6, 2013 at 1:03 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Buy as many properties as you are able to
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kathryn blankenship
February 6, 2013 at 2:53 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
my best Monopoly tip is HAVE FAMILY FUN NIGHT
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Sandy VanHoey
February 6, 2013 at 3:08 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I always tried buying as much as i could but especially the Park Place and ones where the payout was good. Seems I always landed on the Reading Railway (gosh, been so long but something like that). My brothers and sisters and I played this for so many years and that was many years ago
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MC
February 6, 2013 at 4:04 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
My Monopoly board is coming apart at the seams!
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julie murphy
February 6, 2013 at 7:12 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Buy as much properties as you can
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Katy P.
February 6, 2013 at 8:55 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Always be the banker!
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rich morris
February 6, 2013 at 9:29 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Always be the banker so you “control” the money
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Donna L
February 6, 2013 at 9:54 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I buy as much property in the beginning of the game.
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Sandy
February 6, 2013 at 11:15 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Just to have fun playing!
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Kathy S
February 6, 2013 at 11:28 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Buy the red properties. They are landed on the most.
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renee walters
February 7, 2013 at 12:35 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Buy as many properties as possible.
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Terri Moore
February 7, 2013 at 2:33 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I buy any property I land on and try to get all the railroads . The key property’s are Board Walk and Park Place. If i get one of those my son is always willing to do some serious trading to get it . Great memories of this game.
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Anastasia
February 7, 2013 at 3:26 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
HAVE FUN! some people get so competitive and angry and that just ruins the game!
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KD
February 7, 2013 at 12:20 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
cant say i have any!
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edq143
February 7, 2013 at 2:23 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
dont cheat, save the iron, bring on the ring
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Myrna
February 7, 2013 at 3:17 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I don’t have any tips, but I like some of yours.
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john
February 7, 2013 at 4:54 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
If i win it will be donated to charity…the game always put me to sleep
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amy deeter
February 7, 2013 at 5:33 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
get as much property as you can
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Jessica To
February 7, 2013 at 5:42 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I try to buy as many properties as I can and set a time limit on the game!
[Reply]
Louis
February 7, 2013 at 6:41 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I am investing in properties every time I can
Thank you for hosting this giveaway
Louis
pumuckler {at} gmail {dot} com
[Reply]
Linda G.
February 7, 2013 at 7:36 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Try to buy up as much property as you can right away.
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Shane R.
February 7, 2013 at 10:13 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Merge with other players when you go broke so that you can keep playing!
Shane R. recently posted..Grumpy Cat Says Birthdays Are Awful
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Mallery Reply:
February 8th, 2013 at 2:42 am
Smart!
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Nicole Lancaster
February 8, 2013 at 12:25 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
My Monopoly tip if you decide to play Monopoly plan to make a night of it. It takes hours to play.
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Mallery Reply:
February 8th, 2013 at 2:42 am
That’s the truth!
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Amanda Kinder
February 8, 2013 at 12:48 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Buy the railroads first.
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joni
February 8, 2013 at 4:38 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Buy buy buy all that you can!! Get the utilities too!
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CAROLETTA
February 8, 2013 at 10:38 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I don’t really have a tip except to keep playing. It’s just fun-depending on the people you are playing with.
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CAROLETTA
February 8, 2013 at 10:41 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I don’t have a tip except to keep playing. It’s fun-depending on the people you are playing against.
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Rebecca Peters
February 8, 2013 at 11:39 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Do not play the way I do.. I always lose
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Carmen
February 8, 2013 at 11:57 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Buy, buy, buy! Buy everything you can afford. Even if you can’t use it right away, you keep anyone else from buying it. And hope you get lucky with the dice.
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Melanie Montgomery
February 8, 2013 at 12:29 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Buy lots of properties!
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myxi hu
February 8, 2013 at 1:37 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Buy as many properties as you are able to
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Valerie Taylor Mabrey
February 8, 2013 at 2:33 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
buy everything
vmkids3 at msn dot com
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Erica C.
February 8, 2013 at 2:33 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Buy everything you land on.
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Lori Walker
February 8, 2013 at 4:49 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Best bet is to get a whole side of the board… we call it the path of death! lol
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Mallery Reply:
February 12th, 2013 at 12:09 am
I like the name!
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Jennifer R
February 8, 2013 at 5:36 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
I read once that Illinois Ave. and B&O Railroad are two of the most landed on properties. I always try to buy them if possible.
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Jessica Rose
February 8, 2013 at 10:30 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Buy as much property as you can!
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denise
February 8, 2013 at 11:52 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Always be the banker….
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Kayla
February 8, 2013 at 11:53 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Buy the first properties you land on!
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Brynn
February 9, 2013 at 1:43 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
buy the pink or orange spaces! They are the most landed on!
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Michelle Tucker
February 9, 2013 at 2:32 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment
Start buying as early as you can. Well at least this strategy works well for my brother in law.
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