How to Win Monopoly {The Unethical Housewife Way}

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Horrible Housewife- How to win Monopoly {Housewife Style}

I’m about to get real up in this joint and give away my dirty girl secrets for those wondering how to win Monopoly. (Literally, I am giving away a Monopoly game at the end of this post.)

You might benefit from my Monopoly secrets if…

You are competitive.
You are a sore loser.
You get bored quickly.
You need be in control.

Horrible Housewife- How to win Monopoly {don't give free rent}

I suck so hard at playing by the rules when it comes to playing Monopoly! There is something about wanting to shove Michael’s face in a loss that gets me all hot and bothered! For real, it isn’t healthy for him to be right and/or win at EVERYTHING in his life! My not so secret mission is to deflate his ego whenever I can to make myself feel better! Your girl needs to be on top sometimes!

Horrible Housewife- How to win Monopoly {Keep a stash of money under the board} How to win Monopoly

  • Be a cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater and stash those $500 bills under the board! I consider their money an investment in my mad banking skills and swipe a little off the top to compensate for my time. Haven’t you ever heard that nothing in life is free?
  • Roll the dice when someone gets up to go to the bathroom or refill their beer.
  • Pad your startup cash a little more than the others and don’t organize your money. If you look like a hot mess, then people will think you are a hot mess. “Swiper, no swiping!”
  • I like to develop the orange and red corner because it is the furthest from ‘pass go and collect $200′, therefore, I can make people weep when they land on my properties. I enjoy seeing grown men cry as they try to sweet talk their way out of paying me.
  • Form an alliance against the person you want to lose (Michael) and cut everyone, but him, a deal.
  • Get your opponents hammered so they don’t bring their A-game. <~ My favorite of the tips.

How to win Monopoly- vote for your favorite piece

We have some business to discuss before we get to the giveaway part of this unethical guide of how to win Monopoly.  Monopoly is about to oust one of the classic tokens and they need you to go vote on the token you want to hang around. By vote, I mean go pick the top hat and ring. 😉

a Rafflecopter giveaway

I received a copy of the classic Monopoly board game in order to facilitate my review. All opinioins and pictures are my own.

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  1. 13

    Sandy VanHoey says

    I always tried buying as much as i could but especially the Park Place and ones where the payout was good. Seems I always landed on the Reading Railway (gosh, been so long but something like that). My brothers and sisters and I played this for so many years and that was many years ago

  2. 22

    Terri Moore says

    I buy any property I land on and try to get all the railroads . The key property’s are Board Walk and Park Place. If i get one of those my son is always willing to do some serious trading to get it . Great memories of this game.

  3. 30

    Louis says

    I am investing in properties every time I can
    Thank you for hosting this giveaway

    pumuckler {at} gmail {dot} com

  4. 38

    CAROLETTA says

    I don’t really have a tip except to keep playing. It’s just fun-depending on the people you are playing with.

  5. 41

    Carmen says

    Buy, buy, buy! Buy everything you can afford. Even if you can’t use it right away, you keep anyone else from buying it. And hope you get lucky with the dice.

  6. 48

    Jennifer R says

    I read once that Illinois Ave. and B&O Railroad are two of the most landed on properties. I always try to buy them if possible.

  7. 65

    Jenny says

    My best tip is to be patient when teaching your little ones…sometimes it requires it when both of my kids want to win and someone has to lose.

  8. 68

    Michael Jones says

    I like to buy the middle sets of properties(purple, orange, red, and yellow) they seem to get hit more often and you can build alot cheaper. I usually am the last one left wanting to keep playing because I am so ruthless when it comes to Monopoly.

  9. 73

    Tim says

    My tip is to let the kids handle the distribution of the money. I think it is a great first hand experience with counting and handling money, as fake as it may be.


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