Monthly Archive: March 2013

Mar 28

Do Sick Days for Moms Exist?

What do you mean sick days aren’t included in the mom compensation package? That must have been in the fine print of my contract because nobody in their right mind signs up for that kind of craziness. Call the police because I’ve been tricked into birthing a baby boy! How bittersweet motherhood is… (Please note I …

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Mar 26

Frozen Food Myths Debunked

Let’s talk about frozen food myths a minute. Don’t your panties in a bunch as you sit there thinking frozen foods aren’t compatible with my new juicing lifestyle. Believe it or not, there are frozen food options that don’t taste like you are gnawing on cardboard and contain these crazy things called vegetables. Who would have …

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Mar 26

Chop, Chop Goes the Juice Chef

Every morning I wake up and pretend I am the newest juice chef in town filming my segment on a food show. I swear that’s not as lame as it sounds! What I mean is I finally upgraded from my hand me down college knives to big girl knives! Who needs knives in college anyway? …

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Mar 24

Collective Bias is Making 2013 Lucky!

Do you consider yourself lucky? Not that kind of lucky, pervs. I’m talking about good things happening to you lucky. No! Stop! Control your gutter before it gets clogged with leaves! Can’t you tell when I’m trying to be serious? What do you mean I don’t know how to be serious? Well fiddlesticks… 2013 is …

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Mar 22

Green Juice Recipe & Weight Loss

Are you ready for another green juice recipe and weigh in? Sure you are because, you know, this post is 4 days late. You see, I had this sinus plague thing going on and kept sucking it (mucus) up. Michael even came down on me a few times for dragging my tail around the house, …

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Mar 21

Do You Have a Coffee Shop at Home?

I know Michael isn’t the only person out there with enough coffee cups to fill a coffee shop. Where do they all come from? Why do the shelves of Goodwill fill up with all of the coffee cups that aren’t personalized? How do you turn your family member into Coffee Cup Hoarding Anoynomous? These are …

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Mar 20

Goodbye Body Odor! Hello Armpit Fetish?

It’s no secret how often I shower, or don’t shower. Body odor just comes with the dirty girl territory. So why do men get all hot and bothered when they call us dirty girls, but when we actually are dirty girls, with armpit hair, they get strictly hands off? Men can be just as confusing …

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Mar 19

Every Batch Made From Scratch

Every batch made from scratch isn’t always the case in my household. I have no flippin’ idea when the baby snatcher broke into my house and swapped out my independent boy with this imma gonna scream if you even look at something work related terror. Oh how I adore naptime! I have a secret to cope with the insanity …

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Mar 18

Mike and Ike Cookies {Infused Vodka Glaze}

Are you ready for a Mike and Ike cookies recipe? It’s no surprise there isn’t a Mike and Ike cookies recipe to be found on the interwebz.  It’s sort of the same situation I ran into with my Mike and Ike flavored vodka. I swear I come up with the weirdest ideas when I stay up too …

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Mar 17

Mike and Ike Flavored Vodka

Have you heard of Mike and Ike flavored vodka? Me either. The idea of Mike and Ike infused vodka wasn’t born until I was sent some retro Mike and Ike® flavors to write about. The evil scientist set up shop faster than it takes a drunk girl to fall down on the dance floor. I …

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