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Jun 12

Summer Fashion For the Modern Day & Lazy Housewife

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Alert the press! Get ready to live tweet! Are you ready to Instagram this?

Summer fashion has hit the blog, THIS blog! And no, you don’t have to adjust your screen resolution because I’m not playin‘. Getting dressed is the newest crazy concept I am trying on for size (ba-dum-tshh) and it isn’t as painful as one would think. Well… it is because I have to do a hundred million things to qualify as summer fashion, but it isn’t painful like burning your hand on the stove, painful. Make sense?

And this is where I pause the story for you to clean the wine you just spewed at the screen up.

Summer fashion for housewives who clearance shop at Macy's and Sears

Summer fashion, to me, means yoga pants and a sports bra, versus yoga pants and a sweatshirt. You might think that is splitting hairs but I am sure 95% of my fellow housewives can sympathize with that.

Amiright, or amiright?

I thought so.

 You don’t want to miss my summer fashion video because I give you permission to shop weekly!

Spill the beans, who has their purse ready to go?

Ehoh! Cheers to my mad shopping enabling skills!

The shopping part is really the only reason I can stomach the hours of prep it takes to be a girl. Who has time for plucking, shaving, blow drying, and EVERYTHING else that comes with having a vagina? I want to be a dude on days like this. I’m serious, a done in 30 minutes kind of dude.
Summer fashion tip for housewife who wear shirts that show their breasts I have a confession… I like to wear shirts that show what little I have left of my goodies. What of it? I spend an outrageous amount of money at Victoria’s Secret and need to get what I paid for! (Now if only postpartum wouldn’t have forced me into the super duper push up bra!)

How did I get sidetracked with my love of cleavage?

Getting back on topic with my tip, use straight pins to keep yourself from flashing the world! I pop it in and BOOM, that shirt ain’t goin’ anywhere!

Maybe if you are nice I will get dressed again next week. Maybe. I’m not making any promises. Nope. No promises so you can’t hold me accountable. You can’t make me.

 

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About the author

Mallery

My name is Mallery and I am a recovering workaholic. I curse like a sailor. I'm a mix of obsessive and awkward. I talk about bowel habits more than I should and I enjoy wine, gaming, and tattoos.

12 comments

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  1. Danielle

    Loving it! The color, the coordinating accessories, the whole look. I totally love when an outfit just comes together perfectly like this one did.
    Danielle recently posted..Disney’s The Lone Ranger: On The Set Cowbow BootcampMy Profile

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  2. Jennifer Medeiros

    I really like that skirt! Thanks for the tips!
    Jennifer Medeiros recently posted..Cute Camera Bags For Women From HayBug DesignsMy Profile

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  3. Cinny

    Love the color pop and the tip!
    Cinny recently posted..New movie in production for baseball and based on true story #movie buffsMy Profile

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  4. Kelly @ Texas Type A Mom

    What a cute outfit! I used to love shopping the clearance section but have gotten so lazy and just wear the same things over and over again. I love your tip about the straight pins!
    Kelly @ Texas Type A Mom recently posted..Churro Waffles Recipe + Walmart Gift Card GiveawayMy Profile

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  5. Pam

    That is hilarious, Mallery! I totally agree with your version of summer vs. winter fashion!

    [Reply]

  6. Kelsey Apley

    Love the bold colors, and I am a sucker for any kind of cardigan! Super cute!!! Plus the necklace is stunning!
    Kelsey Apley recently posted..Delicious BLT Pasta SaladMy Profile

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  7. Kari

    That necklace is gorgeous! Love the entire look. I’m bad about throwing on plain shorts and tees every day. I need to up my sense of style this summer, LOL!
    Kari recently posted..Hot Beauty Product – Simple Eye Make-Up Remover PadsMy Profile

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  8. Colette S @JamericanSpice

    I’m locked on to the necklace and maybe the top because I LOVE the color. But oh that necklace!
    Colette S @JamericanSpice recently posted..Fruity Refreshment – A Jamaican DelightMy Profile

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  9. Adelina Priddis

    You’re adorable! I love the colors in your outfit…makes me want to go shopping now, darn it! but really a pushpin? I’d probably stab myself with it. Maybe I can figure out how to hide a safety pin so I don’t flash anything.
    Adelina Priddis recently posted..Try New Foster Farms Oven Ready Entree’s #GiveawayMy Profile

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  10. Cariann

    I love the straight pin idea, however I always seem to get stabbed, but then again the only way for me to not so the girls off is to wear a high neckline, (a blessing or a curse, depends on the day)
    Cariann recently posted..Playing with cards and Playing with Art with Birdcage PressMy Profile

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  11. Nicole | stylegawker

    This is a great outfit! You look amazing. I love how the bright colors, textures and patterns came together.

    My favorite fix for stray necklines and straps is mini safety pins. I’m too accident prone for straight pins – ouch! ;)
    Nicole | stylegawker recently posted..How To Dress for a Garden WeddingMy Profile

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    Mallery Reply:

    Thank you so much! I think mini safety pins would be a lot safer than straight pins! haha

    [Reply]

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