Nerdy pickup lines exist. They exist and they make me giggle. They make me giggle because the highly intelligent men who use them KNOW they drop panties quicker than ANY other pickup line on the market. Fellas, we have all watched Friends a million and a half times. (Especially the episode where Monica gets all number crazy, “start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, a 3, a 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7… 7… 7… 7 7 7 7 7 7… seven.”)
Proof Nerdy Pickup Lines Work
Let me paint a picture for you, in case you can’t put two and two together, Michael is WAY into corsets now. Me, well, I like the fact my breasts are where they are SUPPOSED TO BE, like before baby wreckage, but not so much the breathing part. Every woman on the face of Earth loves a corset because nothing jiggles. Nadda. Nothing moves so we can pretend our sheeit don’t stink like we did when we were younger.
“I just want to dance!”
Yes, I did that very thing in Cancun my senior spring break, and didn’t even realize my shirt had fallen down to the point of my strapless bra acting as my top. Awesome. Fortunately, people were schwasted and didn’t give a flying eff if my perky goodies were bouncing in their face. And with that embarrassing (It really isn’t embarrassing unless you are my mom.) story, I give you my favorite nerdy pickup lines. Give ’em a whirl and watch your bed post notches grow.
Top 5 Nerdy Pickup Lines
- Is your name Wi-fi? Because I’m really feeling a connection.
- You must be the square root of 2 cause I feel irrational around you.
- If you were an x-y plane, I’d want to approach your origin from positive integers
- I want our love to be like pi; irrational and never-ending.
- By looking at you I can tell you’re 36-25-36, which by the way are all perfect squares.
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