- I hate notifications.
- I hated hearing “Mommy, put your phone down”.
- I hate the instant gratification monsters it has created.
- I hate how sensitive it has made people because so much context is lost in a status update.
- I hated reading about dying babies and ebola.
- I hate the endless quizzes and the lists upon lists being shared because they do nothing but waste time.
- I really fucking hate Facebook messages. Like, super fucking hate them. I downloaded the new messaging app at one point… it lasted ONE day. The bubble that popped up on my phone? The additional notification? Oh HELL NO!
In fact, the only reason I get on Facebook right now is for work.There might be a chance that I find something intriguing when I pop in for a gig, but I sure as hell don’t seek out conversations like I once did. I don’t have the time for Facebook and I’m okay with it.
- Remember when people still received handwritten letters? Yeah, not many people do. I do because I thoroughly enjoy sending party invitations.
- Remember when people met up for hot toddies so they could catch up and gossip? I do because I thrive on throwing parties for my friends and family. Hell, I would rather jump on a video chat instead of Facebook because I know we are devoting most, if not all, of our attention to each other. None of this half ass bullshit.
I should note, my relationship with Facebook has nothing to do with the people of Facebook. It is, however, about my new priorities: my health, my family, my job. End of story. This pregnancy has forced me to really think about how I spend my time. With sleep playing such a big role in whether or not I wake up with a migraine, I always put my needs first. My phone has a 12 hour window of silence for overnight sleep and goes silent for close to 4 hours so we can nap. That’s 16 hours of potential sleep time, people!
I love my friends and family but times are trying. Try sending me an email (with an actual call to action: what you need, when you need it by, etc.) so I can mark it important and add it to my calendar. Clinical? Yes. What I need right now? Absolutely.
It won’t be like this forever, though. I will rekindle my many
lost neglected friendships once I am no longer terrified. Once I get off of this roller coaster of a pregnancy. Once I feel confident I am past the point of relapsing. I can’t afford a relapse with this baby. Michael is old enough to understand when something is wrong, so I will make whatever sacrifice I can to protect him from the scary part of Multiple Sclerosis. I don’t want him to see me like that yet. I can’t…
Sorry, not sorry.