Mallery

Author's details

Name: Mallery Schuplin
Date registered: June 28, 2012
URL: http://www.horriblehousewife.com

Biography

I'm not perfect and I'm OK with it. I pick my battles so I have ammunition when it is something I really want. I still can't believe Michael takes me out in public because I have zero tact and curse like a sailor.

Latest posts

  1. The Day I Became One of Them — May 15, 2013
  2. I Am Emotionally Awkward — May 9, 2013
  3. I’ve Got That Kardashian Swagger — April 25, 2013
  4. Pink Bud Light Birthday Game — April 20, 2013
  5. Let the Treasure Hunt Begin! — April 16, 2013

Most commented posts

  1. Chicken Pasta with a Twist of Flavor Recipe — 363 comments
  2. Recipe for Chipotle Chicken Burritos — 201 comments
  3. Housewife Tip- Woolzies Dryer Balls — 123 comments
  4. Adults Only JENGA… No Kids Allowed — 95 comments
  5. Chop, Chop Goes the Juice Chef — 86 comments

Author's posts listings

May 15

The Day I Became One of Them

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Life

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Fruti natural fruit bars makes being one of them easier #freshnfruti #cbias

I never thought I would become ‘one of them’. I never thought I would willingly give up most of the things my household holds so dear to their heart: frosting, ice cream, etc. I have officially become one of those moms who fusses over nutritional labels, food dyes, and …GASP… ingredients. I’m talking about one …

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4 comments

May 09

I Am Emotionally Awkward

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Life

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Watching someone die is exhausting and emotionally awkward

I am emotionally awkward with little to no patience. It’s true. Emotions are evil and weakness… well… weakness isn’t in my vocabulary. Watching someone slowly pass away is really interesting. Maybe interesting is the wrong word, but that is all I can think of right now. The past few days have taught me patience, what …

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14 comments

Apr 25

I’ve Got That Kardashian Swagger

Categories:

Life

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Become a Kardashian with affordable fashion from Sears #ThisisStyle #cbias

Did you know the Kardashians are my sisters? My parents might not be Kris Jenner and Robert Kardashian, but I swear I am a Kardashian sister. You see, the producers of Keeping Up with the Kardashians put me up for adoption once they realized I was too outrageous for the rest of the cast. I guess …

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23 comments

Apr 20

Pink Bud Light Birthday Game

Categories:

Fun

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Christy Gossett AKA Sparkle Pants is the happiest when she pops the top of a Bud Light

Are you ready for a pink Bud Light drinking game in honor of Christy Gossett’s birthday? Give me a WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTT! (<~ Obnoxious, I know, but she is having a down in the doldrums birthday and that is so uncool.) I drank Bud Light! Did you see that? That was a Bud Light on my lips! ON …

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12 comments

Apr 16

Let the Treasure Hunt Begin!

Categories:

Home

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Good Cook 2QT batter bowl

It’s finally time for the treasure hunt I was talking about earlier! You can enter to win $1,000 in Good Cook Touch products by ‘hunting’ for the 115 codes on different blogs (see below) and different Good Cook Touch products. The participants who find the most icon codes will be entered to win one of three Good …

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79 comments

Apr 16

Star Wars Photo Shoot

Categories:

Life

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Star Wars photo shoot ideas

Who doesn’t spend their Saturdays knee deep in a Star Wars photo shoot? You can’t possibly be surprised we nerded out this hardcore after my Star Wars manicures yesterday. Scratch that. You can’t possibly be surprised at ANYTHING I say or do anymore. You guys have officially crossed over to the real life friends category and …

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12 comments

Apr 15

Star Wars Nail Art Party

Categories:

DIY

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Using Sally Hansen to create lightsaber nails during the Star Wars nail art party #IHeartMyNailArt

Are you prepared for some Star Wars nail art? Don’t be a Sithy, you know you want to walk around slapping gently patting your loved ones as you make lightsaber sounds. “But now we must eat. Come, good food, come…” Star Wars: Episode V  You guys know I throw a mean party where I stress over every-single-detail, …

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30 comments

Apr 05

My Mission to Break it Down on the Dance Floor

Categories:

Multiple Sclerosis

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Drink green tea from Bigelow Tea for better health

I admit green tea hasn’t been apart of my life for very long. I wasn’t a cradle tea drinker, nor did I require a tea stash in college. Bigelow Tea came into my life when my online family started working with them. (At least I’m honest!) Keep in mind this is exactly how I have …

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19 comments

Apr 05

I Fail at Being a Girl {Pedicure Edition}

Categories:

Life

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Use Carmex Healing Cream and Sally Hansen polish to complete your 'I fail at being a girl' pedicure

It’s no surprise I fail at being a girl. Girls do things like give themselves pedicures, wear makeup and curl their hair. Those are things I either don’t know how to do, or am just learning, what of it? You might have heard me talk about this little event called SoFabCon in a post or …

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41 comments

Apr 05

Baby Food Recipes Made Easy

Categories:

Motherhood

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Homemade carrot baby food puree with Freshfoods Cook-n-Blend Baby Food Maker

So you want to make baby food recipes, huh? I see the appeal of homemade baby food, trust me, I did it myself. I also cannon balled into the land of homemade baby food thinking it would be easy. Thinking I wouldn’t be sleep deprived. I assumed I wouldn’t have an infant hanging from my …

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14 comments

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