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Category Archive: My Imperfections

Dec 10

I Hate Facebook

I hate just about everything about Facebook. I hate notifications. I hated hearing “Mommy, put your phone down”. I hate the instant gratification monsters it has created. I hate how sensitive it has made people because so much context is lost in a status update. I hated reading about dying babies and ebola. I hate …

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Permanent link to this article: http://horriblehousewife.com/2014/12/hate-facebook/

Apr 07

How to Be the Perfect Housewife

I am a member of the Collective Bias® Social Fabric® Community. The confession of my new cleaning, vacuuming, perfect housewife lifestyle has been compensated as part of a social shopper amplification for Collective Bias and its advertiser. I’ve been living a bit of a lie as of late. OK, maybe not a lie… more like …

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Permanent link to this article: http://horriblehousewife.com/2014/04/perfect-housewife/

Oct 19

Gingerbread Haunted House Gone Bad

Believe it or not… Bloggers ARE NOT perfect! I know it’s hard to envision your favorite Pollyanna blogger creating something only a 2 year old would love, but it happens… a Iot. We are the masters of starting over until it’s right. The push everything out of the way to get the shot-ers. We cater …

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Permanent link to this article: http://horriblehousewife.com/2013/10/gingerbread-haunted-house-gone-bad/

Sep 16

Secret From a Workaholic

I am a workaholic. I don’t really want to be on team coffee but I am. I am not addicted to caffeine. (Lies) I refuse to admit how many hours of sleep I get each night. Having a toddler is exhausting. Having a toddler and working from home is the kiss of death. You had …

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Permanent link to this article: http://horriblehousewife.com/2013/09/secret-workaholic/

Jun 16

Welcome to My Fellow Dishwasher OCD Friends

I have dishwasher OCD thanks to the Cascade I received from Mom Central Consulting. There I said it, I am crazy anal about very few things in my life, and it just so happens the  dishwasher is one of them. Although, in my defense, my dishwasher OCD is very similar to my closet OCD because …

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Permanent link to this article: http://horriblehousewife.com/2013/06/dishwasher-ocd-friends/

Mar 20

Goodbye Body Odor! Hello Armpit Fetish?

It’s no secret how often I shower, or don’t shower. Body odor just comes with the dirty girl territory. So why do men get all hot and bothered when they call us dirty girls, but when we actually are dirty girls, with armpit hair, they get strictly hands off? Men can be just as confusing …

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Permanent link to this article: http://horriblehousewife.com/2013/03/goodbye-body-odor-hello-armpit-fetish/

Feb 05

How to Win Monopoly {The Unethical Housewife Way}

I’m about to get real up in this joint and give away my dirty girl secrets for those wondering how to win Monopoly. (Literally, I am giving away a Monopoly game at the end of this post.) You might benefit from my Monopoly secrets if… You are competitive. You are a sore loser. You get …

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Permanent link to this article: http://horriblehousewife.com/2013/02/how-to-win-monopoly/

Nov 02

Are You Too Comfortable with Your Spouse?

I really think this screenshot explains itself, but it might not to some of you ‘pure souls’ so I will elaborate on why I am too comfortable with my spouse. We’ve never once shut a bathroom door while living together. In fact, you will find Michael walking into the bathroom to see how my pooping …

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Permanent link to this article: http://horriblehousewife.com/2012/11/are-you-too-comfortable-with-your-spouse/

Oct 02

Two Years Ago I Got a Fat Rock

Best friends at a wedding reception

It’s starts like this. Boy meets girl. Girl proposes to boy. Boy says it isn’t official until girl gets a fat rock. Girl gets a speeding ticket going to her bachelorette party. Girl spends $1,000 on her bachelorette party weekend and it happens to be one of the best weekends of her life. (Think stripper …

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Permanent link to this article: http://horriblehousewife.com/2012/10/two-years-ago-i-got-a-fat-rock/

Oct 01

Would You Like Some Body Hair with That?

“One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don’t even exist yet” -Dave Barry Yep, I put that out there. I have no shame airing my dirty laundry or rather, my poor hygiene …

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Permanent link to this article: http://horriblehousewife.com/2012/10/would-you-like-some-body-hair-with-that/

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