Aug 25

Pink Rehearsal Dinner Party

Save money on a pink rehearsal dinner party with these simple budget friendly ideas. #schuplinparty
This pink rehearsal dinner party was my first attempt at trying to save a buck or two on a party without compromising my design. It’s true. I usually shop willy nilly until I have all of the supplies I need to complete my party plan without a ton of work. I’m a one woman show, yo!

It drives Michael bonkers but he smiles and nods because anything else would result in death by dagger eyes. What can I say? I have a bit of a temper. <shrugs>

PS: There is a sponsored component of this party plan but it’s way down  there

Pink tissue paper garland is a cheap and easy party decoration for a pink rehearsal dinner party. #schuplinparty

Rachel loves pink everything and my pink bridal shower is proving to me that pink really is the most popular color out there, so I opted against reinventing the party theme wheel. The proof is in the Google searches. ’nuff said.

I started with a plastic pink table cloth ($3 Target) because I wanted the food table to be the focal point of my (very windy) pink rehearsal dinner party.

Since I was on a 48 hour deadline, I did not shop around for pink tissue paper. Which translates to- it’s a good thing Target had a great selection of pink tissue paper! Any other color and I would have been screw-to the-ed.

I ended up using 2 sheets from each of the 5 packages I purchased ($1.07-1.49/pack Target). I cut the sheets into 2 inch strips and tied them to the pink yarn I had in my craft room. One of those pound of yarn rolls that run around $3 at Walmart if you are starting with nadda.

Keeping the decorations simple for your pink rehearsal dinner party will save you a lot of money. #schuplinparty

We purchased 4 white tablecloths ($1/each Dollar Tree) and topped them with a simple tissue paper centerpiece.

Save money on the decorations for your pink rehearsal dinner party with this tissue paper flower centerpiece. #schuplinparty

Next, I shoved 2-3 strips of the leftover garland strips into vases I found in my party stash. The vases were a random clearance find during one of my many shopping trips because that’s what I do. ($1.49/each Meijer)

I used another leftover strip to create a small ‘flower’ and taped it to the top of the vase. Simple, right?

My thoughts exactly.

Pink rehearsal dinner party drink station includes a kiwi cocktail, cucumber water, and wine from Uncorked Ventures. #schuplinparty

The drink station included the kiwi cocktail I featured a few weeks ago, wine from Uncorked Ventures, and cucumber water. The cucumber water used cucumbers from our garden and… you guessed it… water. Making it free and a little classy.

I dressed up the drink station with my own ‘all because two people fell in love’ sign and a smaller tissue paper garland.

Enjoying wine from Uncorked Ventures during the pink rehearsal dinner party. #schuplinparty

But back to Uncorked Ventures, mmmkay?

I don’t care if it’s a baby shower, toddler party, or adult party… there will always be a variety of adult beverages to choose from. Always. Except… in the middle of the hustle and bustle that is party planning, I sometimes forget the wine. The horror!

This time I was prepared with my wine club shipment from Uncorked Ventures. Hello, brilliant party hostess who didn’t need to run to Rite Aid moments before the shindig began! I was poised, prepared, and proud of my wine choices for this pink rehearsal dinner party. Shoooot… my bottles were even looking dapper in their blinking ‘congrats’ bow ties. Presentation. Presentation. Presentation!

And don’t worry about getting Rite Aid quality wine in your wine club shipments. It’s not gonna happen. Uncorked Ventures prides themselves on 90+ point qualities from smaller producers who quite possibly will be new to you.

Oh! One more thing before I move on.

The wine was AH-MAY-ZING! Trust me on this one. It was glorious.

Easy party food will allow you to spend more time with the guests of your pink rehearsal dinner party. #schuplinparty

Another cost cutting corner is using generic silverware and/or grabbing them from Dollar Tree. Packages of silverware at Dollar Tree will run you $1 for 16 people. My mom picked up clear silverware, wrapped them in white napkins, and tied them with pink ribbon.

Note- Please shop around if time permits because this isn’t always the case. Oriental Trading carries 50 packs for $4.25.

She also picked up clear plastic plates to eat on because clear fit this upscale, backyard bash to a T. Making our final cost not much at all. Winner, winner!

Do a girl a favor and pin this pink rehearsal dinner collage.

Ideas on how to save money on a pink rehearsal dinner party without compromising the food and decorations. #schuplinparty

Aug 19

John Deere Birthday Party

John Deere birthday party invitation Would it surprise you to learn that my second favorite day of the year, only behind Christmas, is Michael’s birthday? I am willing to bet I get just as excited as he does. No joke.

It gives me all the feels to see him surrounded by most of the people who care about him. That and knowing how much he loves his friends (his fellow little people) and parties.

So, without further ado, here is Michael’s John Deere birthday party!

Psstt… even though I plug Oriental Trading on my own time all day, every day, I should disclose that they sent me supplies for this party.

John Deere party favors set up for a John Deere birthday party. #showusyourmess #pmedia #ad

John Deere Party Favor Station:

One of my blogging besties sent me a fabulous birthday present that included a very special happy birthday banner with matching cupcake wrappers for the party! Seriously, coolest friends ever.

Note- She made it with her fancy schmancy Silhouette. *SWOON* 

Single servings of chips served in yellow popcorn boxes for a John Deere birthday party.

I wanted to serve chips, salsa, and spinach dip without worrying about grubby little hands digging into the community bowl, so I used these mini yellow popcorn boxes and created pre-made servings. And by grubby, I mean precious, tiny hands that happened to be on the playscape, in the sandbox, and all over the bounce house.

Drink and utensil station for a John Deere birthday party.

John Deere themed drink and utensil station:

Yellowgreen, and white streamers are the way to go if you are looking for a cheap and easy way to give your event some themed color.

Green silverware, wrapped in a green napkin, and tied with yellow ribbon filled my John Deere containers. Which paired perfectly with the yellow plates.

Oh, and the fruit infused water was a hit!

Colored drink coolers for a John Deere birthday party.
You guys already know I buy a lot of clearance (a lot as in a TON) when I know I have a party coming up.

  • The good news – I paid less than $2 for each of the coolers pictured above.
  • The bad news – Oriental Trading no longer carries these specific inflatable coolers.

Yellow food table for a John Deere birthday party.

John Deere themed food station:

I try my hardest to hide our family room during a party. I want the food indoors, but I want a separation between the party and the room itself so people focus on the party, not my messy house. I started by hanging 2 green foil fringe curtains behind the food table. Next, I covered the table with a yellow tablecloth, wrapped a yellow pleated table skirt around it, and placed a green reversible table runner down the middle.

Healthy party food for a John Deere birthday party.

I wanted to spend time enjoying Michael’s party this year so I picked a menu I could set out and not worry about food prep during the party. Unless something needed to be refilled, of course. Trust me when I say this is such an easy party menu that should please multiple dietary restrictions.

John Deere Birthday Party Menu

  • BBQ pulled chicken sandwiches (SO good!)
  • Meatballs with dipping sauces
  • Vegetable platter
  • Mixed fruit
  • Chips, salsa, and spinach dip
  • German chocolate cupcakes
  • Tractor cake

John Deere cupcake toppers and cupcake wrappers for a John Deere birthday party.

John Deere Desserts:

Speaking of cupcakes, I paired these John Deere cupcake wrappers with the ones my super awesome friend sent me, and finished them off with these John Deere cupcake toppers.

John Deere tractor cake for a John Deere birthday party.

But Amy’s shout out wasn’t the only one for this party! Nope. My Aunt Kelly has a pretty awesome cake hobby that complements my parties oh so well!

Simple centerpieces made out of candy for a John Deere birthday party.

John Deere party decor:

I grabbed a couple yellow tablecloths to start the outdoor tables and…

Yellow and green candy centerpieces for a John Deere birthday party.
… finished them off with a tasty centerpieces made out of yellow swirl popsgreen swirl popswhite pails, filled with yellow chocolate candies and green gumballs. I was planning on using tractors for the centerpieces until I realized 1- how expensive tractor centerpieces are and 2- I would not be able to reuse them unless I hosted another John Deere birthday party.

And we both know that isn’t happening.

Playing up the colors was the most cost effective way to go since I have color coordinated tubs in my basement waiting to be filled with items I can use again!

Monster truck bounce house for a John Deere birthday party.

I went with the same bounce house as last year because every party needs entertainment. Both the kids and adults love bouncing around! How else do you burn off the 4 cupcakes you just ate?

John Deere party favor boxes are perfect for John Deere themed birthday parties. #showusyourmess #pmedia #ad

John Deere party favors:

I started with these John Deere favor boxes and you will find out how I finished them in my John Deere party favor post. What a tease, right?

Until next time!
John Deere party favors are the perfect way to end a John Deere birthday party. #showusyourmess #pmedia #ad The party turned out better than I could have hoped and I even forgot to put out a few items! Who would have thought it would take me 3 years to figure out how to REALLY throw a birthday party.

Do a girl a favor and pin this John Deere birthday party collage!

John Deere birthday party ideas for decorations, food, and more!

Aug 13

Cats… The Other Women

I had no idea one of my cats would turn into ‘the other woman’. That’s why I was thrilled at the opportunity to share Fancy Feast® Broths (AKA my secret weapon) as a part of this sponsored post program. 

Snowball the white cat lounging in my bed like she owns it. #LoveABowl


According to the interwebz, spending quality time with your feline companion(s) has been proven to reduce stress and time spent bathing. And we all know everything we find in Google is truer than true. In fact, all of the information shared on Facebook is vetted ’round the clock by a team of highly trained monkeys. Swear.

Bandit the cat always gets her way. #LoveABowl

Do you guys know about Michael’s lady friend? I am reminded of her existence each and every time he travels for work. She might have the long, shiny locks I will never know in my lifetime. She might provide Michael with the warm cuddles he so desires when he crawls into bed. She might even comfort him more than I am capable of. Their umbilical cord is fused for life, but I know the ultimate key to to her heart, allowing me to maintain my alpha role.

It’s food. Wet cat food. Liquid gold to any cat.

Food is always the answer to life’s tough questions. Just like when it comes to the male she has wrapped around her furry little toes.

Bullwinkle, the only male cat, is also hanging out in my bed. #LoveABowl

Which is why I treat her with something tasty like Fancy Feast® Broths when Michael gets home from a trip. If I don’t… ooooo, girl! If she doesn’t get a treat in the form of something special like wet cat food, she gets all high maintenance on us. She needs far more ‘tell me I’m pretty’ attention than this old broad.

Case in point.

Michael strolled in from his last work trip around 10pm and immediately got ready for bed. You know, because he was tired from working all day. She clearly wasn’t please with the minimal attention she received from him because she stood outside our bedroom door singing the song of the other woman. Over and over and over again. Not even my earplugs helped muffle her diva-like cries.

Snowball the cat started spooning with her pet parent back in 2009. #LoveABowl

So she ended up in our bed, spooning with her main man.

Well played, Bandit, well played.

These new Fancy Feast® Broths are perfectly portioned and ready to pour even though they last all of 5 min in my house. I mean, I do have a few cats who love food. Pulling out one of the 8 varieties turns my house into a cat survival of a fittest match. Too much estrogen for me, sheesh!

Who else has cat boundaries? I can’t be the only pet parent who values the hours of 9pm – 9am!

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf Fancy Feast®.
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Aug 11

John Deere Party Favors

“This John Deere party favors shop is part of a social shopper marketing insight campaign with Pollinate Media Group™ and Wet-Nap but all my opinions are my own. #pmedia #showusyourmess

John Deere party favors for a 3 year old's birthday party.  #showusyourmess #pmedia #ad
Every stinkin’ year I never know what to put in the party favors for Michael’s birthday party, but I know I can’t throw a party without them. Wellll… I’m sure I could but I would never commit such a party faux pas!

I kid. Sort of.

John Deere party favor boxes are perfect for John Deere themed birthday parties. #showusyourmess #pmedia #ad

I always debate with myself whether or not the party favors should be full of treats, toys, toothbrushes, or goofy party things that will fill my trashcan on their way out the door.

Do I put candy in them? What if one of the kids has an allergy? What if their parents don’t allow them to eat foods with dyes? What about a cookie? I can make some green and some chocolate in case their mama is also a no dye mama. Why do I overthink the smallest tasks? Whhhhhhy?

Because I am a whackadoodle. I know this.

Filling the John Deere party favors with goodies for the kids. #showusyourmess #pmedia #ad

I might be a crazy person but my John Deere party favors ended up being my best party favors to date. Here’s why.

John Deere Party Favors

Let me explain.

Michael is OBSESSED with cars… meaning the leftover cars have already worked their way into his collection. The Wet-Nap made it so the child was able to clean their hands before consuming the food portion of the party favor.

And the cookies? Well, I enjoyed my share of leftover sugar cookies. You know, the perks of being a parent.

John Deere party favors set up for a John Deere birthday party. #showusyourmess #pmedia #ad
At the end of the day, each John Deere party favor cost somewhere between $2 and $3. Not bad. Not bad at all considering they weren’t filled with cringe worthy trinkets. There are some things you don’t realize until you have a child of your own.

Forgive my previous party favor blunders, mmmkay?

John Deere party favors are the perfect way to end a John Deere birthday party. #showusyourmess #pmedia #ad

Now, before you run out to Walmart for their everyday low prices and pick up a box of Wet-Nap packettes, print out this .55 coupon (while supplies last) and note that they could be in the napkin or pharmacy aisle. I found them by the pharmacy but I first looked in the napkin aisle.

Here’s a little food for thought… the latest Wet-Nap is stronger and softer than previous versions. AND they moisturize with aloe. You know, because kids like Michael are considered gentle giants.

Keep your peepers peeled because the full John Deere birthday party will be live in a few weeks!


Aug 06

Kiwi Lemonade Drink Recipe

I made this kiwi lemonade drink recipe with Sweet’N Low as part of a series of sponsored posts for Socialstars. #SweetNLowStars

Creating a kiwi lemonade cocktail is the perfect way to celebrate the final days of summer. #SweetNLowStars #client
Summer is pretty much over. Gone. No more. I expect there to be snow on the ground next week.

Just because the glorious days of 70 degree weather are coming to an end doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to create a summery cocktail to celebrate the final dog days of summer. Hence the kiwi, the rum, and the girl with the fruit covered hat…

… wait, what?

How to create lemon curls for the inside of a glass  of kiwi lemonade. #SweetNLowStars #client

Kiwi Lemonade Ingredients

  • 3oz  Kiwi Infused Rum (Muddle 2 kiwis in a 12 ounce jar of rum for about a week.)
  • 3oz Lemon Lime Soda
  • 1.5oz Coconut Rum
  • 1.5oz Lemon Juice
  • 1.5oz Simple Syrup (Dissolve 8 tsp of Sweet’N Low in 1 cup of boiling water.)
  • Kiwi, for garnish
  • Lemon, for garnish
  • Ice

Optional- For an extra decorative touch, use a peeler to create strips of lemon peel for the inside of the glass. This is, of course, totally optional and will probably only interest my fellow OCD party planners. You know… presentation, presentation, presentation!

Decorative lemon curls inside the glass of a kiwi lemonade cocktail #SweetNLowStars #client
*Cue the steel drums*

This is the point of the recipe where you don your grass skirt and coconut bra. For real. Your kiwi lemonade will not give you the full Caribbean feel, your hair will not dance in the wind if you do not wear the proper attire. Trust me.

So, muddle half a kiwi in a shaker, add a handful of ice, fill with liquid summer, and hold on tight as summer draws you in. Hearing the waves crash as you fill your glass with kiwi lemonade is a beautiful, not to mention delicious, thing.

Kiwi lemonade cocktail recipe #SweetNLowStars #client

If the remaining cocktails make it to the rehearsal dinner I am hosting on 8/15, we will find out what the masses think of my kiwi lemonade. Chances are they won’t, so I guess you will have to take our word for it! Have I ever steered you wrong? <winky face>

Just like the peachy black tea cocktail from last month, using Sweet’N Low is allowing my guests a chance to indulge guilt-free. You know, we all have dresses to squeeze into in just a few short weeks!


>>Psssttt.. you should share this recipe with your socially awesome friends! You know, because you pink puffy heart me.


Jul 30

Stuffed Pepper Scotch Eggs

Stuffed pepper scotch eggs are a great recipe to switch up breakfast and still keep the meal healthy. #client

It’s time for another hard-boiled egg recipe using hard-boiled eggs from Great Day Farms. (You know, because I am a Great Day Farms blogger who happens to adore eggs!)

Will I convince my family these wonky looking stuffed peppers are delicious? Or will my science experiment result in pizza delivery? Find out now… on Mallery’s Kitchen.

I apologize, I have been watching more than my fair share of reality TV…

Stuff half a bell pepper with sausage and a Great Day Farms hard-boiled egg to make stuffed pepper scotch eggs. #client

For this hard-boiled egg recipe I decided to go with a variation of a baked scotch egg.


Because I had no clue what a baked scotch egg was until I found out they are made with hard-boiled eggs. Like, not even the faintest idea. Never heard of them. Thank goodness for Google. Epic blogger fail.

Ya learn something new every day?

Bake paleo stuffed pepper scotch eggs at 375 for 35 minutes. #client

I will say this, these stuffed peppers were a big hit with my super skeptical husband. He was all, “What is this? How do I eat this? What the what?”

But once he tried it, “This is good!”

Yet another lesson in don’t judge a book by its cover, amirite?

You will find the full recipe and many others on the Great Day Farms site! Now go and get your chow on!

Note: You will find hard-boiled eggs from Great Day Farms in the deli section of Walmart. Go to the area of the deli that sells the sandwiches you would purchase for lunch and look for a soft plastic container of deliciousness. Easy peasy! 


Jul 15

Peachy Black Tea Drink Recipe

I made this peachy black tea drink recipe with Sweet’N Low as part of a series of sponsored posts for Socialstars. #SweetNLowStars

Peachy black tea drink recipe made with Sweet'N Low. #SweetNLowStars
It’s summertime and you know what that means… PARTIES! Parties all day, every day! Wahoo!

OK, maybe just on the weekend, but still.

I have been feeling especially boozy with all of the wedding hustle and bustle going on this summer, so I have a extra tasty drink series coming your way. Like, go buy a gallon of rum because they will all contain fruit infused rum. Oh, and they will all be delicious. Just sayin’…

This peachy black tea cocktail will be served to the guests, who happen to be 21+, of Michael’s birthday party this weekend. Dudes. His party is in FOUR days! FOUR DAYS! Ermahgerd!

Making peach infused rum for a peachy black tea drink recipe. #SweetNLowStars

Peachy Black Tea Ingredients

  • 16oz Black Tea Infused with Peach
  • 6oz White Peach Schnapps
  • 6oz Whiskey
  • 6oz Peach Infused Rum (Let peach slices sit in a jar of rum for about a week, pictured above.)
  • 3oz Simple Syrup (Dissolve 8 tsp of Sweet’N Low in 1 cup of boiling water.)
  • Fresh Peaches, for garnish
  • Fresh Mint, for garnish
  • Blackberries, for garnish
  • Ice

This peachy black tea drink recipe is the perfect party cocktail. #SweetNLowStars

The beauty of this peachy black tea drink recipe is found in its ability to morph into whatever you are in the mood for. Straight peachy? Yes, sir! A minty, berry twist? Whatever your heart desires! Let’s face it, you might wake up feeling peachy, but once 5 o’clock rolls around… you are ready for a minty shock to the system. It happens to the best multi-taskers out there.

Simply muddle whatever combination you would like to try before pouring the peachy goodness into your glass.

Not to mention, guests can design their own cocktails based on their palette and mood. It’s brilliant, I tell ya!

You can turn peachy black tea into 3 different cocktails simply by muddling different ingredients into your glass. #SweetNLowStars

Now, I know the blogosphere is full o’ skeptics, so I thought I would break down each version of my peachy black tea.

Straight peachy- This version is sa-weet! I know the fellas will veto a ‘foo-foo’ drink, but it is flippin’ tasty and perfect for a girls night. Like, sit me down with a pitcher and play video games all night, tasty. Isn’t that what all girls do during girls night?

Minty fresh- The mint gave the peachy black tea a refreshing kick. Think about a cocktail you would enjoy on a hot summer day.

Blackberry mint- This one is the best of the fruity and minty worlds because the peach base makes it sweet, the blackberries inject a dash of tartness, and the mint gives it a refreshing finish. Oh, and it is easy on the eyes.

Which version of peachy black tea would you choose  #SweetNLowStars
There you have it, folks. Which version of peachy black tea would you pick?

And one more thing before I sign off!

I used 8 teaspoons of Sweet’N Low in my simple syrup, versus 1 cup of sugar, because I am trying out a few drink recipes that are a little more diabetic friendly. And the fresh fruit totally counts towards my daily serving of fruit, right? I vote yes! After all, it is summer and summer means there is an abundance of party food and drink every time you turn around. Your waistline is cool with the substitution. Promise.

Cheers until August!


Jul 14

How to Throw a Party for a Party Planner

How to Throw a Party with the perfect cake for a Party Planner's Birthday
I think it is time to discuss the purple elephant standing in the corner of this room. He is standing at your six. You don’t believe me? No, I wasn’t drinking before noon! I’m a classy broad, you know this!

Well… maybe a little sip with my cake. I mean, it WAS right there. And it WAS my birthday. And it WAS delicious.

Whatever. It’s my party and I’ll drink if I want to, drink if I want to, drink if I want to.

<Puts fingers in ears> La, la, la. I’m not listening until you agree to talk about the purple elephant.


How to Throw a Party for a Party Planner's Birthday

Purple elephant. Yes, that.

Do you know how to throw a party, specifically a birthday party, for a party planner? I ask because my mom brought it up when I told her I won’t have a birthday party until I turn the big 3-0. You know, when I start looking old and wishing I was able to turn 30 over and over again. Wait? Isn’t that why Botox was invented?

Please, no birthday gifts unless they are gift certificates to Dr. Feel Good. Kthanks!

How to Throw a Party with simple decorations for a Party Planner's Birthday

It might blow your mind to hear this…

Are you sure you want to know how to throw a party for a person who is absolutely OCD over party details? Are you wo-man enough for this gig?

The odds of a party planner wanting a slammin’ shindig are pretty low. I’m talking low like hanging out with the trolls, low.

We (meaning some, not all) party planners throw parties for our loved ones because… well… we love them long time. That, and we are self-confessed introverts. Parties? Yes please! Talking to every single guest? Imma gonna take this here bottle and find me a cozy spot in the restroom. Let me know when it’s time for cake.

How to Throw a Party for a Party Planner's Birthday with easy cocktails.
My bottle happened to be Jose Cuervo Iced Teagarita this year. Umm… chyeah! Like, I did not expect it to be as tasty as it was. And no, my opinion wasn’t formed towards the end of the bottle because we all know what happens at the bottom of a bottle. I’m pretty sure there is a song about that… (Which is why you should drink responsibly. Do as I say,  not as I do.)

I cracked the bottle of a new twist on a classic and let it waft to my sniffer, over and over again. It was glorious. Iced tea and margarita babies are where it’s at, according to a recent family poll.

Did you know my name in French class was Marguerite? So, if my calculations are correct…

Jose Cuervo Iced Teagarita is quite possibly the love child of my French personality and a rapper from the 80′s.

Wait, what?

I’m sorry, I didn’t see the line in the sand. Let me take a step back and get back to the point of this post. Forgive me?

How to Throw a Party for a Party Planner's Birthday- Make sure you have their favorite cake.

How to throw a party for a party planner

  • Incorporate her favorite color.
  • Give her a nice cake, unless she prefers cookies or pie.
  • Make an effort to decorate. Don’t go overboard, but do grab a roll of cheap crepe paper and tassel it up. The effort you put into the minimal details will not go unnoticed.
  • Provide a delicious drink that she will slurp down no problem.
  • And always, always whip out her ‘pimp cup’.

How to Throw a Party for a Party Planner's Birthday- Never forget her special drinking glass.

What did I tell you? Any man can forget about a birthday and still throw together a special cake and drink. Oh, and my cake? Freaking fantastic! I don’t care who you are, coconut is amazing.

Be sure to keep your eyes wide for the rest of the summer because Teagarita launched in May and the new kid on the block is worth a quick scour of the booze department. You won’t regret it.

Cheers to party planners everywhere!

I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.


Jul 10

Dark Side of Potty Training

“Don’t play with your penis at the dinner table.”
“Don’t pee on the wall!”
“Hang on, I have to wipe your butt!”
“Just pull down your pants and pee on the tree.”

The dark side of potty training boys.

I received the cleaning products mentioned in this potty training story for free from the sponsor of the Moms MeetSM program, May Media Group LLC, who received it directly from the manufacturer. As a Moms MeetsSM blogger, I agreed to use this product and post my opinion on my blog. My opinions and sense of humor do not necessarily reflect the opinions of May Media Group LLC or the manufacturer of the product.

After a countless number of soggy bottoms, I think it is time to announce to world that Michael is…

I hope I don’t jinx myself…

Michael is potty trained! As in officially dropping deuces on the porcelain throne! Man sized deuces that make me thankful I no longer have to clean a butt that has been sitting in a poopy diaper for any period of time. Woot!

But it hasn’t been all drop your drawers, flush the toilet, and wash your hands. Nope. My life has been dowsed in urine. Lots and lots of warm, musty urine. Process that smell, whydontcha.

Using Ology products to cleaning up potty training messes.

I hate to break it to ya… the road to potty training doesn’t contain a carpool lane. There is no magic wand. No bippity, boppity, boo. They either want to, or they don’t. You will either drown your frustrations in a bottle, or let them tell you when it’s time to start. You might be the parent, but they control this rodeo. Give up the reins unless you enjoy uphill battles full of wax on, wax off as you clean up mountains of fecal material with cleaners that don’t contain harsh solvents and tree-free paper towels.

It’s your choice.

You never know what you will see when you start potty training a boy.

And then the day will come where you want your newly potty trained toddler to bend the rules a little bit. Only they won’t because you once told them not to. You know, like peeing in the lake. Or on the tree. Or that you don’t need new shorts if you dribble a little.

You see, we recently went on a family trip to the cabin and Michael would NOT pee in the lake. Well, he would, but not the way normal people typically do it. He had to get out of the lake, stand on the dock, drop his drawers, arch his impressive stream back into the lake before pulling his trunks back up and hopping back into the water. The same spot he just peed. Which is the same concept as letting it go and hoping the people around you don’t notice the temperature difference. The brain of a toddler!

Oh, and he wouldn’t pee over the side of the boat, but he sure didn’t care about peeing into the trashcan… twice! And for the record… I was caught in the golden crossfire the first time. <not amused face>

Piles of laundry as a result of potty training boys.

And the laundry? Ooooo, gurllll! The laundry will gitcha because you have trained your toddler for however many years to put dirty clothes in the hamper. Except when you go to empty the hamper now you are smacked in the face with the smell of old urine. Forcing you to scoop out piles of smelly clothes to find the potty training accident.

Dang it, Jim! That’s it! No more liquids after 9pm! None. Done. Ugh!

We are giving the Ology™ brand from Walgreens a whirl because it is all over the interwebz. I’m talking about everywhere! I can’t speak to the effects on Michael’s eczema because it is way too soon and there have been too many factors with travel, swimming in a duck poo infested lake, etc, but I am hopeful.

You all know how my OCD likes controlled tests. Ha!

The funny stories they don't tell you about when you are potty training boys.
What I can speak to is how Ology is working to avoid toxic chemicals. Me likey! I have high hopes for my new natural ingredient detergent. Have you tried it on one of the sensitive bums in your household yet? Hook a girl up with the details! What do you think?


Jul 09

Breakfast Bruschetta

Breakfast bruschetta made with Great Day Farms hard boiled eggs is the perfect brunch appetizer.
What do you think of when you hear ‘breakfast bruschetta’? Tomatoes served on bread with a side of sunny siders? Perhaps, but you would be wrong. This party diva was given the task of making an easy egg appetizer (that wasn’t deviled eggs) using hard-boiled eggs from Great Day Farms.

Psshh…. please! Challenge accepted!

Note- You will find the packages of hard-boiled eggs at Walmart, in the same area as the pre-made sandwiches.

Baking the bread for breakfast bruschetta.
You guys, I purchased four different types of cheese for this project, and you know what I figured out? I’m not big into soft cheese. Yuck! Hard cheese only, please!

(See what I did there?)

I guess that means I will never be one of the ladies covered in baubles sitting around eating all sorts of fancy looking cheese while sipping on something delicious? My dreams of retirement have been squashed! My life is over! I have no idea how I will keep myself occupied in my old age. The horror!

WAIT a minute!

I can totally see myself as the crazy, yet hilarious, old lady on YouTube.

Yes, let’s plan on a slightly inappropriate YouTube channel that makes Michael shake his head at me into his parenting years. My future daughter-in-law will either LOVE me or tolerate me. Ha!

Everything you need to make breakfast bruschetta.

Oh, hey, did you know I am now writing recipes for Great Day Farms? For real, guys! They are paying me REAL doll hairs for recipes. I’m living the dream, yo! Hooray!

Which is why you will find the full breakfast bruschetta recipe in their neck of the woods. Go now and eat food! Or pin them to your boards so it looks like you make food. I don’t judge.


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