Oct 23

Gluten Free Baked Parmesan Fries

Here is a simple recipe for baked parmesan fries

They say pregnancy cravings are one way to tell what the sex of your baby will be. Except… there are no studies that tells you what happens when you don’t crave a darn thing. Like, nadda. Does that mean I am brewing up a mighty fine invisible baby? Could it be the next Superman? Who knows.

And then it hit me.

I had a craving for baked parmesan fries! The type of craving I had no recipe for, but I had to have it IMMEDIATELY. (Similar to pickles and doughnuts at 3am.) Which sent me to the kitchen to evaluate my ingredients situation before waddling around figuring out my oh-so-crispy, perfectly tasty, gluten free fries. Consider it pregnancy craving fate. I was meant to inhale these fries during Michael’s nap that day.

You know, because you don’t have to share delicious food if they are out and about roaming dreamland.

Recipe for baked parmesan fries

Pin the recipe for Gluten Free Baked Parmesan Fries

A lady should never share the intimate details surrounding food consumption, but I never once said I was a lady, did I? Au contraire, mon ami! I pillaged half of this batch by the time Michael got home from work and it was wonderful. Sorry, not sorry.

Now that there is a rumbling in your tummy, I should mention that I made these baked parmesan fries for Great Day Farms because I’m one of their bloggers. Meaning… you have to head over there for the full recipe. I know, I know, you hate clicking a bajillion times. This time, though, it’s totally worth the click.

Also, don’t forget to add delicious eggs from Great Day Farms to your Walmart shopping list! You know you wanna.


Oct 19

Toddler Eczema Follow-Up

I participated in an Influencer Activation Program on behalf of Influence-Central to talk about toddler eczema for #AveenoEczemaTherapy. I received a sample to facilitate my review and a thank you item for participating.

Teaching your toddler to apply Aveeno Eczema Therapy moisturizing cream to help manage his toddler eczema
Toddler eczema has rocked my mommy world from the very moment my goodies were sliced and diced. So many tears. So many guilty nights. So much wine. And so much maintenance for a 3 year old. What happened to growing up carefree?

The beauty of writing about our battle with eczema is knowing that I’m not alone. I see how often toddler eczema is typed into a Google search. (In a totally non-stalker kind of way.) I know our struggle hasn’t been in vain. I know that so many of you are also on high alert when it comes to what goes on your child’s skin. This is real life, folks, and quite a nightmare at times.

Managing toddler eczema with Aveeno Eczema Therapy moisturizing cream.

This past summer was pretty calm in the skin arena. Our biggest struggles involved the scrapes and bruises Michael wore like medals of boy honor. We didn’t think much about toddler eczema. There was no need. Well… there was, but the need had turned into something a bit more manageable. I didn’t nag about daily lotion applications, and Daddy Michael became lazy when it came to Michael’s laundry detergent. He even used his body wash on Michael a time or two.

For the record… I freaked the firecracker out. Like, World World style because I would have been the one dealing with the flare up. Amirite, or amirite?


Adding AVEENO® BABY ECZEMA THERAPY SOOTHING BATH TREATMENT to bath water to help heal toddler eczema

Then Mother Nature decided it was time for autumn weather. Mother Nature decided it was time to turn on the oh so dry furnace without consulting me. I grew anxious. I knew what would follow: dry skin, countless lotion sessions, oatmeal baths, and a flare of toddler eczema. My baby turned into an alligator in a blink of an eye. His poor, rough skin started itching again. There was no smooth as a baby’s butt in this house.

Which is why I knew it was time to step it up to Aveeno® Eczema Therapy products. Again.

Learning how to manage toddler eczema over the years

It is no secret that Michael still uses Aveeno Baby Wash. Why switch from a product that has worked so well for us over the years? Why switch when I have a bundle of joy on the way who will soon be doused in baby wash by his/her older brother? I refuse to learn about toddler eczema the hard way again. Just, no.

We lived. We learned. We are not willing to wait for our next baby to have an eczema flare before becoming aggressive.

Michael’s skin may never be silky smooth but he will never have to worry about fearing lotion because it hurts. Well… that’s the game plan anyway. I hope you are able to find the same peace of mind.

There is only so much wine one can purchase, ya know!


Oct 16

DIY Lightsabers

Toddlers playing with DIY lightsabers
You should not be allowed to throw a Star Wars party without lightsabers. There, I said it! Just call me Judgy-Mc-Judgy Pants. Sorry, not sorry.

Lightsabers belong at a Star Wars party like spiced rum goes with cider, and cankles come with pregnancy. Sooooo… let me show you how to be ‘the bestest mom I got’ on the cheap! Take my hand and leave the heavy lifting to me.

How to make DIY lightsabers out of foam and duct tape

DIY Lightsaber Supplies:

Start by wrapping the lightsaber tip with a piece of blue duct tape. I found it to be the cleanest when I snipped the corners so the tape would wrap flat around the sides.

Making lightsabers with duct tape for a Disney Star Wars Rebels party

I was planning on wrapping the duct tape around the foam rod horizontally, but then I woke up to the wonderful world of efficiency. I figured out, by going vertically, it takes 3 long strips of duct tape to cover the lightsaber. One. Two. Three. Done. You’re welcome.

Adding the duct tape handles to the DIY lightsabers

All I had to do for the handle was repeat the tip covering on the other end before repeating the same 1-2-3 process used for the blue side.

Have I mentioned how ridonkulously easy these lightsabers are to make? I cranked out three in NO time.

Dress up station featuring DIY lightsabers for a Disney Star Wars Rebels party

Now, if your Star Wars party is for actual children, not grown children, these lightsabers are perfect for their tiny hands. I know the interwebz is full of pool noodle lightsabers, but they are simply too thick for the hands of little people. These lightsabers, however, were perfect for the toddlers who attended our Star Wars Rebels party.

Boom! Mind blown!

Do a girl a favor and pin this DIY lightsaber tutorial collage!

DIY lightsaber tutorial

Oct 12

DIY Millennium Falcon Cake Stand

Stormtrooper and lightsaber cupcakes for a Disney Star Wars Rebels party #sparkrebellion #shop

Let’s talk about how high maintenance I can be for a minute. I might shower an undisclosed number of times each week, but there are certain things I cannot live without. Like, NARS concealer and obsessive party details.

Don’t roll your eyes at me!

My Millennium Falcon cake stands were a NEED for my Star Wars Rebels party. A must have. The success of my party plan depended on Michael helping me with these bad mamajammas. First world problems, for sure!

Using a jigsaw to cut out the Millenium Falcon template for the DIY Millennium Falcon Cake Stand

Millennium Falcon Supplies:

Michael started his half of the project by printing out the Millennium Falcon template. (Note- You will need 2 sheets of paper, taped together.) Next, he found a piece of scrap hardboard and traced the image. Finally, he was able to be manly and use a jigsaw to cut out the beginning of my Star Wars party.

I was a VERY happy girl.

Using Liquid Nails to attach the snack container to the bottom for the Millenium Falcon cake stand

Why hardboard? Because we had leftovers from a quick fix house project. Read… it was free.

Was I a little twitchy because the edges were unfinished and a little frayed? Yes, yes I was. Gotta love a little OCD!

Did it work? It absolutely did.

I started my portion of our Millenium Falcon cake stands by attaching one of the many empty snack containers from my recycling stash to the bottom of the hardboard. I opted to glue the lid to the base because the last upcycled cupcake tower I made takes up too much space in my green bin. With this one, I am able to detach the base for easy storage!

TIE Fighters made out of peppermint patties and Rolos for a Disney Star Wars Rebels party #sparkrebellion #shop

So, whatcha think?

  1. The price sure was on point! We were only out of pocket the price of the paint because we had the rest of the supplies at home.
  2. They add an extra level of detail a party guest might not expect before walking in the door.
  3. They were flipping easy to put together.

Mission completed! Pass GO! and collect $200. Winning at Life. Game over.

Do a girl a favor and pin the DIY Millennium Falcon cake stand tutorial!

DIY Millennium Falcon cake stand tutorial.

Oct 08

Disney Star Wars Rebels Party

This Disney Star Wars Rebels party has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone.

Disney Star Wars Rebels party celebrating the release of Star Wars Rebels #sparkrebellion #shop

It’s no secret that Star Wars is the dominate force in the Schuplin household. Much to Daddy Michael’s chagrin. I hosted a Star Wars baby shower for my sister. Then, earlier this year, I threw her a Star Wars birthday party. And now? Now we have children old enough to know who ‘arth Vader’ is. And no, that wasn’t a typo.

It all started when Aunt Rachael started asking Michael who was in her new tattoo. Things then moved to imitating the ‘pew pew’, and finally came to a DVR full of Disney XD. Disney XD is all up in my business! The life of a mom. Amiright?

Watching the new Star Wars Rebels DVD with her Inquisitor mask. #sparkrebellion #shop
Which means we knew all about Star Wars Rebels. I set the series recording before the words even had a chance to escape from my sister’s mouth. What I wasn’t aware of was the DVD being released exclusively at Walmart (10/3 – 10/13). Which is why I rounded up the troops and we partied. We partied like it was Comic-Con. There was plenty of nerd attire and Han Solo even showed up. Which led to the nerd joke of the evening since I was a pregnant Princess Leia.

Stormtrooper and lightsaber cupcakes for a Disney Star Wars Rebels party #sparkrebellion #shop

Of course there were cupcakes displayed on the Millennium Falcon cake plates Michael HAD TO make for me. I needed them flanking my Star Destroyer centerpiece! My party would have been incomplete without them because I am a diva. (The SUPER DUPER cheap Millennium Falcon tutorial!)

TIE Fighters made out of peppermint patties and Rolos for a Disney Star Wars Rebels party #sparkrebellion #shop

My pride and joy TIE Fighters were simply a Rolo, 2 peppermint patties, and a toothpick through the center.

Decorate a Disney Star Wars party table with Ezra from Hasbro #sparkrebellion #shop
I used a rhyming generator to create fun labels for the stars of Star Wars Rebels.

  • Chopper Whoppers- Whoppers candy
  • Sabine Greens- green vegetable platter

Jedi water supply for a Disney Star Wars Rebels party #sparkrebellion #shop
And, of course, my Jedi water supply.

I also served:

  • Lightsabers- chocolate covered pretzel rods
  • Fruitsabers- fruit kabobs

Party tip: If you are in a pinch, fold a color coordinating paper napkin in thirds and tape it to your water bottles. Easy peasy!

Drink and utensil station for a Disney Star Wars Rebels party #sparkrebellion #shop

Not only do I like to keep my utensils and drinks away from the food, my supporting station served a dual purpose. A purpose you will see towards the end of this party plan!

The suspense! Ahhh!

Bubble wand 'lightsaber' party favors for a Disney Star Wars Rebels party #sparkrebellion #shop

Normally you send guests home with a party favor tag that says ‘may the force be with you’. That’s just what you do for a Star Wars party. Except for this one. For this party I went with ‘it is your destiny’ tags on the blue bubble wands with grey duct tape handles because I set the favors next to my utensil ‘may the forks be with you’ sign. You don’t have to do the same unless you are a whackadoodle like myself.

Party tip: You do NOT need to purchase pre-made Star Wars labels on Etsy. I repeat, you do NOT need to spend money on something as simple as labels because the Star Wars font is FREE. Load that puppy into PicMonkey and print your labels on cardstock!

Dress up station for a Disney Star Wars Rebels party #sparkrebellion #shop

My guests’ ages might have ranged from 2-nearly 30 but everyone dressed up. There were lightsabers, buckets, masks, costumes, and my ironic husband dressed up in his Trekkie garb. You do not have to spend oodles of cash on the dress up station if you don’t have a closet full of toys to begin with. My friends brought .99 glow sticks for lightsabers, a few found plastic Stormtrooper masks for $5 each, and I spent maybe $5 on 3 light sabers.

You will save a lot of money if you think outside of the box.

Making lightsabers for a Disney Star Wars Rebels party #sparkrebellion #shop
How about a quick and dirty lightsaber tutorial since I brought it up?

  • I purchased a package of 3 craft foam sticks. (40% off $4.99)
  • Then I covered the sticks with 3 strips of blue duct tape. (Previously purchased)
  • And I finished off the handle using grey duct tape. (Previously purchased)

See? So simple. So cheap. And, in my opinion, easier than pool noodles when it comes to the hands of little people. I will share the full duct tape tutorial in a few weeks!

Inquisitor lightsaber door decoration for a Disney Star Wars Rebels party. #sparkrebellion #shop

I picked up two Inquisitor lightsabers for my door decoration because, well… I am a perfectionist who thought they were pretty rad. I attached them with floral wire before hanging the final piece on the front door. Presentation! Presentation! Presentation!

Boba Fett buckets for a Disney Star Wars Rebels party #sparkrebellion #shop

But wait, that’s not all! All of the Star Wars toys scattered throughout my party plan are made by Hasbro. You will even find them at Walmart.com if you don’t want to head to a physical store. There are a ton of toys out there! Trust me on this one. I hooked my sister’s Christmas up so hard this year. Buy all the toys! Every last one of them!

Purchasing the Star Wars Rebels DVD at Walmart #sparkrebellion #shop

Don’t forget to check out the movie section for your own copy of Star Wars Rebels.

Now get out there and party!

Do a girl a favor and pin this Disney Star Wars Rebels party collage!

Disney Star Wars Rebels party ideas food, party favors, decorations, and activities. #sparkrebellion #shop

 #SparkRebellion #CollectiveBias


Oct 07

Watermelon Shots

I made watermelon shots with Sweet’N Low as part of a series of sponsored posts for Socialstars. #SweetNLowStars

Bring the fun to your next girls night with these watermelon shots #SweetNLowStars #client
I haven’t quite figured out where the idea for watermelon shots came from, but I woke up one morning with the crazy idea for something fun. And I’m not talking about Go Fish and finger painting. Fun for grown-ups.

Pregnancy dreams? Probably. My fellow moms know what I’m talking about. You dream about the first time you are able to get together to shake your tail feathers after delivering a baby.

“Look out, momma bear has a sitter tonight! WOOOOTTT!”

And then curse the entire experience the next day because one drink has the ability to knock you on your hind quarters.

How to make watermelon shots- Soak slices of watermelon in watermelon rum and mint simple syrup overnight #SweetNLowStars #client

Watermelon Shot Ingredients

  • 1 part Watermelon Infused Rum (Put 1/2 cup chopped watermelon in a 12 ounce jar of rum for about a week.)
  • 1 part Mint Simple Syrup (Dissolve 8 tsp of Sweet’N Low and 10 or so mint leaves in 1 cup of boiling water to create the syrup.)
  • Watermelon slices

There really isn’t much to watermelon shots. I had an abundance of watermelon after a labor intensive school snack, so I started infusing the rum. Then, the day before I wanted Michael to decide whether we should use mint or basil, I made the mint simple syrup and cut the watermelon slices. I even set up a tasting station for Michael so he could try my fun little concoction multiple ways.

  • Soak the slices in boozy goodness 24 hours before serving. (Think back to your days of jungle juice.)


  • Create shooters, much like a tequila shot, so you can lick Sweet’N Low, shoot, and bite your watermelon.

I recommend trying both versions to figure out which will work best for your crew.

For large parties, soak multiple watermelon slices in watermelon rum #SweetNLowStars #client
Michael preferred the soaked watermelon shots because he was taste testing for me during his homework study break. You see, I am a firm believer in every college student deserves a real college experience full of poor decisions, copious amounts of alcohol, and dorm life.


Unless you are one of my minions. My offspring should be in college to learn something so they are able to put me up in a retirement home equipped with a studio for my old lady vlogging. Priorities.

Watermelon shots are a creative way to serve drinks to your party guests #SweetNLowStars #client

I like to think of myself as an early adapter. A joiner of all things that might benefit me in some way. I have taken surveys – hated them. I have pushed a goofy button in hopes of hitting it big - I never hit it big. I have even hustled my friends to join XYZ so I could profit off of the referral bonus. Even though those income earning avenues have long been forgotten, I still participate in a group called Crowdtap. Call me crazy but I dig it.  (<~ For real. They didn’t even pay me to say that.)

If you join the Crowdtap Sweet’N Low crowd, you will see they are currently hosting a drink recipe contest with a cocktail kit as the grand prize! May the best lush win!

Kidding. Drink responsibly, dudes.


Oct 02

SEA LIFE Michigan

Michael enjoying the giant sandbox at the SEA LIFE Michigan sandbreaking event at Great Lakes Crossing. #SEALIFEMI
I am a parent ambassador for SEA LIFE Michigan. And let me tell you, Michael is stoked about this project! <insert school girl giggles here>

These days it seems like Michael is famous. You will find him in articles on MLive, The Oakland Press, and even in a video from the Detroit Free Press. His recent stardom can be attributed to one thing… his anticipation of the opening for SEA LIFE Michigan!

Michael hanging out at the SEA LIFE Michigan sandbreaking event at Great Lakes Crossing. #SEALIFEMI
For real, you guys.

I wish you would have been a fly on the tent just to experience half of the pure joy radiating from Michael. He was beside himself with excitement. He wants to see the sea creatures: the fish, the sea horses, and more. He wants to experience things one wouldn’t typically associate with Michigan. And the best part? He really only half understands what it means when I tell him Michigan’s largest aquarium will be a mere 30 minutes away in Auburn Hills.

Michael playing in the sand at the SEA LIFE Michigan sandbreaking event held at Great Lakes Crossing. #SEALIFEMI
The 35,000 square-foot SEA Life Michigan Aquarium will feature an underwater tunnel. A tunnel! An underwater tunnel! Oh em gee! I can see his reaction now.

“Mommy, look!”

“Mommy, a FISH!”

“Mommy, what’s that?”

“Mommy, can we go see the fishies again?”

I’m talking about the moments you live for as a parent. Raw enthusiasm.

Michael waiting patiently for the opportunity to dig in the sandbox with the shovel at the sandbreaking for SEA LIFE Michigan. #SEALIFEMI
I know this because he was barely able to contain himself when it came to the ‘sandbreaking’ portion of the SEA LIFE Michigan event we attended. He knew there was a giant sandbox to play in at the end of event, but he had no idea he would be allowed to wear a REAL hard hat and use a grown-up shovel. Say, what?

He loved every minute spent digging up little ‘fishies’.

Michael was eager to participate in the sandbreaking event for SEA LIFE Michigan at Great Lakes Crossing. #SEALIFEMI
I know SEA LIFE Michigan, owned by Merlin Entertainments Group, will provide countless hours of entertainment for us this winter. I strongly detest winter and refuse to leave the house when coats and winter boots are required. Just, no. 

Since my sister shares the same sentiment, I started planning family friendly activities for our winter. Which happened to be around the time I saw the sign for SEA LIFE at Great Lakes Crossing. Fate? Perhaps. Perfect timing? Absolutely!

SEA LIFE Michigan:

In addition to weaving conservation information and tips throughout our exhibits, SEA LIFE takes an active role in conservation through our Breed Rescue Protect initiative. We run breeding programs to help sustain endangered species, rescue hundreds of sick and injured creatures and nurse them back to health to return them to the wild, and actively campaign to protect individual species and marine environments from exploitation or destruction.

I’m excited for next year. And Michael… well, the pictures describe it the best.

I will be back with more information as we get closer to the grand opening, so stay tuned!


Sep 25

Gluten Free Chicken Parmesan

The other day I had a craving for chicken parmesan and Michael being the willing to do anything if it means I eat real food husband, took me out for chicken parmesan. It was heavenly. It was exactly what I was craving during my period of wanting nothing to do with food. It was at that moment I decided to make my own gluten free version. You know, because cheese is my biggest paleo cheat.

Meh. I spent the first trimester eating straight garbage so cheese ain’t no thing but a chicken wing.

Or whatever the saying is. My hipness is seriously slipping.

Gluten Free (VERY easy to make paleo) chicken parmesan recipe.
Since I am a Great Day Farms blogger, you will find the full recipe on their turf. It is sooo good. Sooo worth the additional click of your digit. Sooo worth pinning if you want to give it a whirl. You won’t be disappointed.

Trust me on this one. We eat gluten free chicken parmesan 2-3 times a month. For real.

All of the craving tales are missing their mark with this pregnancy. Nothing sounds good. Nothing. Welllll… carbs sound delicious. Olive Garden? Yes! Ravioli? Please! Cookies? NOM NOM NOM!

No more salads. Fresh fruit and vegetables make me gaggy. And my tried and true spinach, cheese, and bacon omelette? Yuck! I find myself avoiding egg dense recipes because eggs are my biggest food aversion. Which is ironic because I am a blogger for an EGG COMPANY who happens to adore egg everything. Dudes, I was picking up multiple dozens of Great Day Farms eggs at Walmart each week because we love our eggs!

Thankfully I am to the point where I can cook eggs without a bucket standing watch. Phew!

In fact, I just shared another egg recipe {Gluten Free Chicken Stir-Fry} that happens to be the second meal I have raved about this summer.

Do you understand HOW BIG OF A DEAL THIS IS? Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?

Food! Real food! Healthy food shoveled into my mouth like I’m a jailbird!

It’s the little things in life.

Speaking of healthy food… this girl has some leftovers to demolish.


Sep 22

Chicken Crust Pizza

Chicken crust pizza is a great way to get all of the flavors of traditional pizza without any of the gluten. PS- It's really easy to make!
If you are a paleo and/or gluten free household you have probably heard of the revolutionary ‘meatsa pizza’. For many, a meatsa pizza made giving up grains a cinch! It gave the pizza addicts, like myself, hope that we might actually be able to do this. Paleo might work. Paleo is no longer scary.

I am caveman, hear me roar!

It doesn’t matter if you are using a 93/7, grass-fed, never frozen, organic, raised in your backyard beef, there will always be grease. Grease and juices you have to press out with a paper towel before consuming.(Note- I guess you don’t HAVE to press it. I do because I get a tummy ache from any amount of grease if I don’t.)

Now, don’t get me wrong, I will still smash on some measta pizza regardless of having to press out grease, but I prefer the minimal non-greasy juice that comes from chicken. So please, allow me to introduce you to our family meal… chicken crust pizza! The family meal we consume way more than any household probably should.

I never said we had perfect diets! tee-hee

Grind up the chicken breasts before mixing in the spices and eggs to form the chicken crust for your pizza.

Note- I have been saving this recipe for quite some time now. Since I am a blogger for Great Day Farms, and they asked me to share a family recipe, I thought this would be the perfect time to share my chicken pizza crust with the blogosphere!

 Chicken Crust Pizza Ingredients

  • 3 Chicken Breasts
  • 2 Great Day Farms Eggs
  • 1 tsp of each: Basil, Oregano, Garlic Powder, Onion Powder
  • Cheese (Unless you are 100% paleo.)
  • Your favorite pizza sauce
  • Pizza toppings

Blend the chicken breasts in a food processor until it is ground up. I have a small food processor so I then put the 3-ish pounds of chicken in my stand mixer and blended in the eggs and spices. Next, spread the chicken mixture out on a pizza pan (mine is 14.25 inches) before baking for 15-20 minutes at 350.

Cooking note- The chicken crust will shrink far less than any meatsa pizza you will ever make.

Chicken crust pizza is a great way to encourage your children to help you cook dinner.

Remove the chicken crust from the oven and proceed to top with your favorite sauce, cheese, and toppings! We like to use a kale, tomato, and green pepper combination but the possibilities are endless!

Pop it back in the oven for 10-ish minutes to allow the cheese to melt and the toppings to cook a bit.

BOOM! That’s all, guys!

Chicken crust pizza is a great way to enjoy pizza without the bloating that comes from traditional pizza.

Chicken crust pizza isn’t as dense as the meatsa pizza, but it’s deeeeelicious. And the beauty of it all is how filling it is. Filling WITHOUT the bloating that comes with the zaa. Every girl’s dream.

So, why a family themed recipe this month? Funny you should ask.

The Boxtrolls is the new animated adventure hitting the screens on 9/26, and it’s all about an orphaned boy raised by underground cave-dwelling mischievous creatures in the town of Cheesebridge. Unusual or not, family knows no ‘cave-dwellers are strange’ boundaries. *cough* Family *cough*

I know I’m not painting a decent enough picture. Ha!

All I can say is that it looks like something Michael would find in the store and put in my shopping cart. I’m not even sort of joking. He pouty face placed 3 movies in our shopping cart just last weekend. It was expensive precious.

Whatever keeps him asking if I want to spend time with him is worth it to me.

Don’t believe me?


Sep 21

First Trimester Bleed

When you are growing a fetus the last thing you want to experience is a first trimester bleed. Is this a miscarriage? Will I have a miscarriage? Why am I bleeding? Did I do something wrong? Was I under too much stress? Did I not eat enough ‘healthy food’? This is all my fault. All my fault.

Surviving a first trimester bleed and seeing the anatomy ultrasound at 18 weeks 5 days pregnant.

I can sit here and virtually slap the crazy worry out of you until we are both blue in the face, but it won’t help. It will not do a bit of good until you are able to put the pads and pantyliners so far under your sink you forget you have them and run out to buy more before you deliver. Truth.

I know this because (as of 8/24) I was that person. My initial bleed was 7/19 (11w2d). I rocked a pantyliner until 8/23-ish. From 8/23 on things turned into more of a discharge swirled with a bit of brown blood. Phew! The sense of relief that comes with a crotch that no longer oozes brown goo all day, every day is the best feeling ever.

My first trimester bleed was a subchorionic hemorrhage.

At least that’s what my lady bits doctor says happened. I have no clue when the hematoma formed. I have no idea why it formed. All I know is when the subchorionic bleed took place. And I will never forget maintaining my composure as I gushed blood into my chair while Michael opened his presents. It reminded me of the gushes that a woman in labor experiences after her water breaks (or is broken).

Waiting before the appointment with the high risk OBGYN.
My crotch doctor said they usually see spotting from bleeds stop in 2-3 weeks and that if I really needed peace of mind, I could go in for an ultrasound to see how much fluid was left chillin’ in my womb. Except, my high risk doctor ordered additional third trimester ultrasounds and we could run into an insurance thing since the anatomy scan was 3-ish weeks away.

We opted to wait it out.

Like he said, “If you were going to miscarry this baby, you would have.”

No more mandated bed rest even though I still spend a lot of time resting for reasons dealing more with my Multiple Sclerosis and migraines. That’s another story for a different day, though.

I am still unable to workout. Which sucks. I’m losing muscle mass and my thighs are touching due to the bed rest and my love for everything that is so not paleo. Losing muscle is very hard to swallow for a person who likes to lift things up and put them down. (<~ Get it? Planet Fitness? Hardy har har.) But then I remind myself that I am growing a little person and I sort of talk myself back from crazy.

I was so looking forward to the lack of MS symptoms so I could be a gym rat without stupid limitations.

Keep in mind:

  • Bleeding hurts. Sometimes it hurts a lot. Just keep wiping and invest in black panties.
  • Knowing your baby has a heartbeat is one of the best ways to ease your mind.
  • Watching your baby do jumping jacks is even better.
  • What is sex? Pelvic rest was included in my bleed package, giving me one less responsibility to worry about.
  • You are now part of the 20% of first trimester bleeders! <~ Not official. That is just the number I heard a lot during my time spent bleeding.

Update 9/9/14- My anatomy ultrasound found another hemorrhage, so I might have to come back in around 24 weeks.

Update 9/18/14- At my 20 week appointment, my OB said the next ultrasound would be at 28 weeks, versus 24, and no sex or working out. Meh.


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