May 28

DIY Thor Hammer

I created this DIY Thor Hammer using old period pads, as part of a sponsored post for Socialstars, to explain why Poise Thin-Shape pads are better for your light bladder leakage. #RecycleYourPeriodPad

DIY Thor Hammer made out of period pads #RecycleYourPeriodPad

Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor.

Are there even words to describe the glorious Thor hammer I have bestowed upon you? Take in its strength. Its beauty. Let it fill your cup with womanly power!

<Insert a demonstration of womanly power here.>

…or just use it as a way to repurpose your unused period pads since you now own pads made specifically for bladder leaks. Whatever opens your Bifrost Bridge.

Supplies needed to make a DIY Thor Hammer #RecycleYourPeriodPad

DIY Thor Hammer Supplies:

  • Shoe box
  • Paper towel roll
  • Unused period pads (About 22, depending on the size of the box.)
  • Duct tape
  • Scissors
  • Hot glue gun

How to cover a shoe box in period pads for a DIY Thor Hammer #RecycleYourPeriodPad

  • Make sure the box is secured with a few pieces of duct tape.
  • Once taped shut, begin covering the box with period pads.
    • I choose to keep the front tidy with the pads going straight across, but you can decide on whatever pattern you would like. The back won’t be as OCD friendly because you will wind up filling in the blank areas however you can.
  • Use the hot glue gun to touch up any spots that have a mind of their own.

Crafter’s note: Tread lightly with the scissors. Cutting too far into the period pad will leave you with a sloppy section due to the layers of the pad.

How to make the handle for a DIY Thor Hammer using period pads and a paper towel roll #RecycleYourPeriodPad

  • Using 4 period pads, wrap each pad around the paper towel roll until it overlaps so you can dab each pad with hot glue.
  • To give the Thor hammer more of a finished look, tuck the extra bit of the 4th period pad into the end of the roll.
  • Finally, glue the handle to the base of the box.

Crafter’s note: If you are looking for something a touch sturdier, cut a hole in the bottom of the box, insert the paper towel roll, and apply a generous amount of glue to the seam. The method I used was more for decoration and humor, versus summoning storms and rocking the world of more than a few frost giants.

How to make a Thor Hammer out of period pads #RecycleYourPeriodPad
So, you might be asking yourself why unused period pads?

There is a point. Promise.

I spent Memorial Day weekend heave hoeing in the garden like a responsible homeowner. I was knee deep in compost and my key takeaway has nothing to do with the future of our crop. Instead, all I can think about is that one time… I peed myself while turning the compost pile. I had a pitchfork in my hands and I still tinkled in my yoga pants!

Okay, so I could have put panties on, but I didn’t. Shooooot, I could have slapped on one of my Poise Thin-Shape pads, but I wasn’t wearing panties. One day I will get better at being prepared. For now, let’s just agree that Memorial Day weekend was not that day.

The junk drawer in my bathroom #RecycleYourPeriodPad
Which got me thinking about the junk drawer in my bathroom. You know, the drawer that fills with the things you need, but you are too lazy don’t have the time to make a spot for.

Stay with me.

I dribbled while spring cleaning the yard, so I thought it best to spring clean the drawer where I store what I need to keep me 3x drier than period pads and liners.

Makes sense, right?

I thought so. I’m trying to control the clutter in the 25% of the house that isn’t covered in kid stuff.

Organizing the junk drawer in my bathroom #RecycleYourPeriodPad
Outside of the old container of wipes, of course. I can’t help myself when it comes to using them to organize the little things in my life. I’m sure they make a program for that.

Poise Thin-Shape pads will run you anywhere from $5.99-$13.99, and you can snag your very own free sample before you buy.

 

Permanent link to this article: http://horriblehousewife.com/2015/05/diy-thor-hammer/

May 24

Caramel Apple Wine Glaze Cookies

How to make caramel apple wine glaze cookies
I will drink wine at any time.

And I love to eat cookies, even when they aren’t mine.

I will eat cookies in the middle of nookie.

And I will drink wine with my pal, the Wookiee.

I do so like wine glaze cookies. I do so like them, (Brain fart… insert some name that rhymes).

Turning sugar cookies into Caramel Apple Wine Glaze Cookies

Ingredients for Caramel Apple Wine Glaze Cookies:

  • Sugar cookies
  • Arbor Mist Caramel Apple wine
  • Powdered sugar
  • (Optional) Caramel to drizzle

Before the interwebz jumps up and cries because there are no measurements, let me explain.

Helping mom mix the powdered sugar into the caramel apple wine
There are two ways to make a batch of wine glaze cookies. I know, confusing. Michael would file this recipe under too complicated, but only because he lacks kitchen swagger.

If you, on the other hand, have got the moves like Jagger, your options are:

  • 1/4 cup wine + 1 cup powdered sugar
    • This glaze will remain ‘tacky’ for a longer period of time, creates a smoother glaze when cooled, and isn’t as sweet as the other option.
  • 1/4 cup wine + 2 cups powdered sugar
    • This glaze will get hard fast (ba dum tsk), needs low heat to keep it from cooling too much while topping the cookies (see the final picture for an idea of what will happen if it cools too much and you still use it), and is freaking delicious if you need more sugar in your life.

I have no preference unless I’m running low on the white stuff.

Powdered sugar, ya goons!

Bring the caramel apple wine glaze to a boil
Whisk the powdered sugar into the wine and bring it to a boil. I’m no professional, but high heat has always worked for me. How many recipes give you the option of balls to the wall heat?

Not many.

I let the mixture boil for a few minutes, stirring constantly, before removing it from the heat.

Brushing the caramel apple wine glaze on the sugar cookies
Once the glaze has had a few moments to return from the land of raging hot, begin brushing it on the cookies with a pastry brush.

Do as I say, not as I do: Be a good wifey and put a piece of parchment paper under the cooling racks so your spouse doesn’t curse you when he goes to clean the counter.

Topping the Caramel Apple Wine Glaze Cookies with a caramel drizzle
Optional step:

Feel free to make the cookies ‘fancy’ with a bit of caramel drizzle. Personally, I’m good without the drizzle, but I don’t judge if you are looking for the full monty.

Licking my fingers after finishing the Caramel Apple Wine Glaze Cookies
And yes, I waited until we were finished before licking my fingers.

Having fun making Caramel Apple Wine Glaze Cookies
And yes, he had no idea he just helped me make ‘mommy only’ cookies. Poor kid.

What happens when the caramel apple wine glaze cools too much when you are spreading it on

Note: The top right cookie is what I would call a reject in my world, and is why it’s important to keep the glaze a little warm. 

 

Permanent link to this article: http://horriblehousewife.com/2015/05/caramel-apple-wine-glaze-cookies/

May 21

Asus MeMO Pad 7

#spon: I’m required to disclose a relationship between our site and Intel. This could include the Intel Corporation providing us with content, product, access or other forms of payment.

It’s been a few months since I mentioned we were playing around with the ASUS MeMO Pad 7 (ME176CX-A1-WH), and let me tell you… a lot has happened since that day in March. You know, like almost having a 4 month old!

Who’s counting, though?

Watching a Vimeo movie on the Asus MeMO Pad 7 - Touch [ME176CX-A1-WH]

I honest to goodness thought the Asus MeMO Pad 7 would become my thing. All 7 inches of it. It was built for my hand (That’s what she said.) and I really needed to get some work done on Maverick’s schedule. I kept it on my nightstand. It joined me in the rocker. It kept me company during my bedrest. My new tablet made sense.

Until Michael replaced my phone.

Once he replaced my phone, it was game over for my precious tablet. It was at that moment that I realized how convenient it was to do everything on the one device that was, and still is, forever in my pocket. You see, he replaced my dainty phone with more of a tablet phone, making navigating the interwebz easier. (FYI: I’m not a fan of my new phone. I definitely prefer a small phone coupled with a tablet.)

I don’t want you to take that as a negative, mmmkay? As an everyday user, it got the job done. It only became (little) Michael’s YouTube tablet when remembering to shower began trumping remembering to charge an additional device.

The lock screen on the ASUS MeMO Pad 7 (ME176CX-A1-WH)

My thoughts:

  • I really enjoyed the lock screen because I was able to see my calendar without unlocking the tablet. (See picture above.)
  • I never got the hang of the power button. It was extremely awkward because this was my first device with a button like that. (See picture below.)
  • The size was perfect for my hands. I might have disliked the button position but it was put there for a reason. I’m almost positive the Asus MeMO Pad 7 was designed for one hand.
  • Do I even mention the 2MP rear and .3 MP front camera? We all know value tablets are not known for quality images.
  • The battery life, which is quoted at 9 hours, was comparable to the other Intel Tablets in my life.

Location of the power button on the Asus MeMO Pad 7 - Touch [ME176CX-A1-WH]

Talk Nerdy to Me Says: ASUS MeMO Pad 7 (ME176CX-A1-WH)

It seems that most people are more focused on the next smartphone for that go to gadget and the tablet is often overlooked. I enjoy a phone that is not too big and allows me that one handed operation, but yet it can be too small for time when I have two hands. Along comes the ASUS MeMO Pad 7, finally something other than a phone you can be excited for. It is the perfect size for reading and using, without being too big. The people at ASUS thought of some of these details and gave the device a curvature that makes it comfortable to use both one handed and two handed.

It is not just the physical appearance that makes this tablet special. The MeMO Pad 7 is powered by an quad core version of Intel’s Atom processor rated at 1.33GHz. An Atom quad core, who would have guessed? When the Atom’s first came out many years ago, I loathed any time I had to use them in the Net-books that they found their way in to. Now Intel has found an excellent application for this technology. It provides awesome processing power to handle running Android plus giving you great battery life.

Multitasking on this device is good, but I did find that after awhile of going back and forth, there was some lag between applications. The MeMO Pad comes with 1GB of DDR3 memory, and I think it could could benefit from 2 GB. The 2 Megapixel rear camera was average for taking pictures, but the latest smartphones provide a much better quality picture. Video playback was flawless, and the Intel HD graphics combine with the IPS screen really give you a nice picture.

ASUS has put there own spin on the version of Android 4.4 it is running, without adding too many gimmicks to the operating system. This is always a plus to me, I prefer when manufacturers add function to Android without having a large and complex “Skin” over the operating system. As of right now there is no option to upgrade to Android 5.0 lollipop.

The biggest complaint I have with the device is the location of the charging port. I have seen this before with phone manufacturers placing it on the top of the device. This has to be the most inconvenient area to place it. It makes the operation of the tablet very difficult if it is plugged in. You need to hold it a certain position to avoid placing pressure on the port itself. Overall this is a great device, the list price is $149.99, but you can find it slightly cheaper through certain retailers, and that makes this a fantastic value.

Stay tuned for our Talk Nerdy to Me video. We weren’t asked to do one, but I want to because I adore filming with Michael. He’s a hoot.

 

Permanent link to this article: http://horriblehousewife.com/2015/05/asus-memo-pad-7/

May 13

Leaky Bladder Confessions

I’m sharing my leaky bladder confessions, as part of a sponsored post for Socialstars, to show the world that women of all ages can benefit from Poise Thin-Shape pads. #RecycleYourPeriodPad

I am the woman sitting next to you at Starbucks. The one with the leaky bladder #recycleyourperiodpad

I am the woman sitting next to you at Starbucks.

Except I don’t drink coffee. Homegirl is just there for the carbs and Wifi. What can I say? I like sugary treats just as much as the next girl, and my bladder leaks just like the girl next to her. Leaky bladders are a thing. Almost like death and taxes, but not.

What the what?

Yes, there is a leaky bladder in my 20 something pants.

Managing light bladder leakage with Poise Thin-Shape pads #RecycleYourPeriodPad

They say no two kids are the same but there isn’t much talk about how different the after birth experience can be.

Let me paint a picture for the ladies contemplating pushing a watermelon out of their lady bits. It changes you in more ways than you think. You develop the ability to transform into a mama bear in the blink of an eye and you sometimes lose control of your bladder. (I say sometimes because the facts say light bladder leakage is a 1 in 3 kind of thing.)

Sure, I sprinkled here and there after Michael, but it wasn’t a big problem for this panty hoarder.

After Maverick, though, it was game on! One minute I was taking care of an inconsolable baby and the next I was peeing as I dropped my drawers… in front of the toilet! I was maybe 6 inches from the toilet bowl? There was a lot of “Babe, I need new pants. I peed on myself again.” going on.

Keep your supply of Poise Thin-Shape Pads near the toilet #RecycleYourPeriodPad

And you know the feeling you get when you have to fart? I’m not talking about the ones that slide right out and clear the room. More like the fart that lives to make you work your rear off (I’ll be here all day, folks.) if you want it out.

I do!

I was driving home one evening when I felt the bubbles in my rectum. I set my cruise control, put my left foot on the foot rest for a bit of tension, and pushed. I wanted that good for nothing fart out, out, out!

It didn’t come out.

In fact, the only thing escaping my nether regions was a sprinkle. A sprinkle I was not prepared for, so I did what any rational woman should have done. I chuckled to myself and said, “At least I didn’t poop myself. Again.” (Anyone who has followed me for any amount of time knows I am fluent in bowel incontinence. It’s my thing.)

Live and learn, guys. I would have stayed dry had I hit the head before I left the movie theater.

How to protect your new stash of panties from your leaky bladder #RecycleYourPeriodPad

Now, I might dribble here and there, but there is only one person in my life wearing a diaper.

Spoiler… it’s not me.

I traded my mesh granny panties and frozen pads, pads that are not meant for LBL, for Poise Thin-Shape pads. I have yet to need their services, but it’s only been a few weeks and I am actively trying to protect my brand new stash of panties, so I voluntarily sport something thin and flexible, and designed to help me manage leaks.

What?

Doesn’t every woman include a panty overhaul in their pregnancy contract?

Now that I know there is a difference between a pad for LBL and a period pad, I’m breaking out the glue gun for a craft of epic proportions! Until then, grab a free sample and stay dry!

Catch ya on the flip side.

 

Permanent link to this article: http://horriblehousewife.com/2015/05/leaky-bladder-confessions/

May 12

Sunshine Party

This sunshine party has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone.
#WhereFunBegins #CollectiveBias

Easy table for a sunshine party #WhereFunBegins #Ad
You don’t usually notice the wave of mom guilt washing over you until it hits you in the face like a wall of farts. Or, in my case, the day Michael started telling us his legs didn’t work. And when he started climbing up the stairs on all fours. And when he started telling me he needed to sit down at the store because his legs were tired. And finally, when he told his friends about how his mommy’s legs don’t work.

Heart, let me introduce you to the meat tenderizer. Smash. Smash. Smash.

Now that my good days and bad days are beginning to even out, I am trying to make up for the past 9 months of mommy being ‘sick’. I set out to do just that by creating something summery that still falls within my limitations. Meaning, I didn’t put together a three legged race, but I absolutely stocked up on bubbles and hula hoops.

Work with what you have, right?

Sunshine Party Decorations:

Using bubble wands to create a fun centerpiece for a sunshine party #WhereFunBegins #Ad
My party planning process never begins with a firm blueprint. I usually go shopping with a rough idea and buy all the things with grand plans of returning what doesn’t work into my official party. Except… my grand plans are typically foiled because I like stuff. Especially cute stuff.

For this party, I knew I wanted bubbles and hula hoops, and I wanted it to be a sunshine party, but that was it. I’m almost positive my centerpieces were a happy (Get it? Sunshine and bubbles are happy things?) accident.

Craft tip: To create this fun centerpiece, I wrapped the vase with yellow duct tape, taped a wooden sun to the front, and filled it with bubble wands.

Sun napkin rings for a sunshine party #WhereFunBegins #Ad
My tiny assistant deserves the credit for inspiring the napkin rings. You see, during our brainstorm session, he grabbed the extra suns and placed them on the plates because ‘that’s where they go’.

Ding, ding, ding! What do we have for him, Johnny?

That was all I the inspiration I needed to attach the silverware with duct tape. It was the perfect way to tie in more sunshine!

Party tip: Turn the napkin rings into a place setting by writing your guests’ names on them.

 Place bowls of orange and yellow candies on the tables at your sunshine party #WhereFunBegins #Ad
And no table is complete without tiny bowls of colored candy.

Orange and yellow cupcakes topped with color pinwheels for a sunshine party #WhereFunBegins #Ad
But, the non-human stars of this party were the cupcakes.

Oh-my-stars was I (Who am I kidding? I still am.) in love with this concept! We walked aisle after aisle looking for inspiration and there it was, in the form of a pinwheel. I knew I had to use them as soon as Michael went bananas and continued to walk around the store spitting blowing all over them so they would spin. It just made sense.

After all, I was planning a party for him.

How to use orange and yellow pinwheels to decorate cupcakes for a sunshine party #WhereFunBegins #Ad

Party tip: I ended up using large pinwheels as a centerpiece after the party plan changed because of the weather.

Sunshine Party Food:

Easy food ideas for an orange and yellow sunshine party #WhereFunBegins #Ad
The food for our sunshine party was motivated by tiny hands and the color scheme. Kid parties go a little like…

Run. Eat. Run. Drink.

“Do you have to go potty?”

Run. Eat. Run. Drink. Pass out.

How to make an orange and yellow table skirt out of deco mesh #WhereFunBegins #Ad
To create the table:

  • Place a yellow tablecloth and/or fabric down.
  • Attach a piece of color coordinated string around the table with duct tape.
  • Attach the mesh to the string almost the same as you would if you were making tissue paper tassels.
    • I folded each piece of mesh over the yarn and twisted a piece of floral wire around the top.
  • Place a piece of fabric around the table to hide the duct tape and wire.

Craft tip: I used less than one roll of 21 inches wide x 10 yards long mesh and one roll of 10 inches wide x 10 yards long. I am working on the tutorial as you’re reading this. Unless, of course, this post has been updated with said tutorial.

A drink station full of SunnyD and fun waters is perfect for a sunshine party #WhereFunBegins #Ad
I filled an inflatable cooler with water and SunnyD because… SunnyD. I mean, what kid doesn’t remember a summer with SunnyD? Even my mom enjoyed a flashback when I told her about the lineup for the party.

Party tip: I wrapped the bottles of water in yellow duct tape and used my Silhouette to cut out the ‘fun in sun’ labels. 

Orange and yellow fruit for a sunshine party #WhereFunBegins #Ad
I stuck with my theme by serving cantaloupe, pineapple, and oranges.

Sliders are the perfect party food for a sunshine party for kids #WhereFunBegins #Ad
I thought sliders would make the kids’ lives easier.

Orange and yellow vegetables for a sunshine party #WhereFunBegins #Ad
Carrots, yellow peppers, and orange peppers made an appearance.

Macaroni and cheese is an easy party food for a yellow and orange party #WhereFunBegins #Ad
And I finished off the menu with some macaroni and cheese.

Behind the scenes: I forgot to set out the dirt cake. My bad, guys. That said, I don’t need to explain why dirt cake is a must have for any child’s party.

Sunshine Party Activities:

Hula hoop station for a sunshine party #WhereFunBegins #Ad
In addition to the bubbles, the pinwheels, and just being outside, we had a hula hoop station with some kiddie hula hoops for the taking. He might not know how to hula hoop just yet but we will get there. Until then, I’m bringing the mom fun back into our home.

Shopping for SunnyD at Sam's Club  #WhereFunBegins #Ad

I seem to forever be at Sam’s Club during my party season because bulk is the way to go, so I grabbed a 24ct. pack of SunnyD. Sunshine party. SunnyD. Makes sense, no?

Anyway…

I found mine in the refrigerated aisle with the milk, but you might find them on an end-cap display, with rollback pricing, through July.

And be sure to check out WhereFunBegins.net for more ideas to keep your kids busy this summer.

Do a girl a favor and pin this sunshine party collage!

Ideas to help you plan an orange and yellow sunshine party #WhereFunBegins #Ad
 

Permanent link to this article: http://horriblehousewife.com/2015/05/sunshine-party/

May 06

Patio Party

This backyard patio party has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #Arbormist #StartSummer #CollectiveBias The following content is intended for readers who are 21 or older.

Your grill is the perfect spot to hang a festive banner and set out food and drink #Arbormist #StartSummer #Ad
You guys, spring has finally sprung in Michigan and people everywhere have taken up their favorite warm weather activity again… bicep curls. Hooray for our new source of salt water! Kidding. The heat is miserable and still very much welcomed after the subzero weather we endured last winter. Winter takes the fun out of wine-o-clock.

With Memorial Day coming up, and my itch to begin socializing again, I wanted to share a beautiful patio party chock-full of libations and easy grub. Ain’t no party like a Schuplin party, cause a Schuplin party is stocked!

Forgive me, I’m feeling frisky.

Shall we begin?

Patio Party Decorations:

Create a lazy susan out of a cake plate and a tin for the middle of your patio party table #Arbormist #StartSummer #Ad
Let’s talk about how hot teal and coral is this season. For real, guys, it’s everywhere! An accent color that pairs well with this season’s colors but isn’t everywhere is chartreuse. It’s on you if disregard my warning. Unless you need an excuse to shop. Get on with your shopping habits!

Just don’t tell your spouse it was my idea. I get in enough trouble as it is.

Setting the table for a coral and teal backyard patio party #Arbormist #StartSummer #Ad

Creating the place setting:

  • Pick out a tablecloth you can’t live without.
  • Skip any sort of charger and go with a placemat, in an accent color.
  • Find ombre plates because you can’t find plates with solid colors in the exact shade of coral and teal. (I’m anal. So, so anal.)
  • Place a colorful napkin on said plate, and top it with silverware. (Plastic makes patio parties a million times easier.)
  • Find and/or make the cutest wine tumblers because nobody wants their neighbor’s cooties.

Complete the table for your backyard patio party with fun wine glasses #Arbormist #StartSummer #Ad
Arbor Mist is a great, light drink for any backyard patio party #Arbormist #StartSummer #Ad
Just make sure your guests know they are not the party favors. Personally, I would go with more of a bottle of a water and an aspirin party favor.

Kidding!

Drink responsibly, ya lushes!

Easy idea for creating a lazy susan for the middle of your table #Arbormist #StartSummer #Ad
I could NOT figure out a cool, new way to serve food to save my life. Until I went on a ‘I need inspiration’ shopping trip. Inspiration shopping is absolutely a thing.

Party Tip:

I put a boring, clear cake plate in the center of my table and placed a color coordinated tin/container/whatever you want to call it on top of it. This gave the table a pop of color and raised the food up so it was easier for the guests who like to graze without committing to a chair to reach.

Add some flair to your backyard patio party with a fun doormat #Arbormist #StartSummer #Ad
Oh, and a new mat is a yearly expense.

Patio Party Food:

Put bottles of Arbor Mist in a tin full of ice so your party guests and serve themselves #Arbormist #StartSummer #Ad
It doesn’t matter if your party decorations are on point, if your party lacks food and drink, it’s going to flop. End of story. I stocked our patio party to the brim with a variety of Arbor Mist: three types of moscato, a merlot, and their new lime Arborita.

Lime and cilantro chicken and wine glazed sugar cookies are perfect for any backyard patio party #Arbormist #StartSummer #Ad
Speaking of Arbor’s Mist’s Arborita, there is a recipe below for the lime chicken pictured above. It was full of flavor. It was easy to make. It was the perfect party recipe.

Note: A post featuring the wine glazed cookies will be coming soon! Until then, bring 1/4 cup of your favorite wine and 1 cup of powdered sugar to a boil. Stir the boiling mixture until all of the sugar has dissolved. Finally, allow the sugary goodness to cool before brushing it on your favorite sugar cookie recipe. 

Grilled potatoes, hummus, and fruit make great side dishes for lime chicken #Arbormist #StartSummer #Ad
I wanted to pair the lime chicken tenders with something easy to eat, easy to prep, and just as summery as the flavor of the chicken, so I picked berries, hummus, and potatoes. It was the right combination for the grazers and those of us who prefer to eat our food from a plate. Everyone was satisfied.

Skip the fancy wine glasses and serve Arbor Mist in a fun, plastic wine glass tumbler #Arbormist #StartSummer #Ad
Even the hostess/grill master was satisfied. (That would be me.) But then again… I was standing right next to the wine and cheese. It’s pretty hard to feel unsatisfied when the wine is one shake and shimmy away.

Lime Chicken Recipe:

Marinating the chicken tenders with Arborita from Arbor Mist #Arbormist #StartSummer #Ad
I made two batches of this recipe because I had 3 pounds of chicken. I could explain why I split it in half but the reason has no effect on the outcome. Some things are better left unsaid. Ha!

  • Start with 1.5 pounds of chicken tenders in something you can marinade the chicken in. (e.g. a bowl or a sealed bag)
  • Pour in a 1/2 cup of lime Arborita.

Chopping up the cilantro for the lime chicken marinade #Arbormist #StartSummer #Ad

  • Give some fresh cilantro a rough chop.
  • Add 2 heaping tablespoons of cilantro, 1/2 tsp of pepper, and 1 tsp of salt to the bag.
  • Coat the chicken tenders until you are satisfied.
  • Place the marinade in the refrigerator for a minimum of 3 hours.

Grilling the lime chicken tenders for our backyard patio party #Arbormist #StartSummer #Ad

  •  Grill the chicken tenders until fully cooked. I cooked my chicken about 10 minutes per side BUT who’s to say your chicken will be the same size? Invest in a meat thermometer and thank me later.

Now get out there and party like it’s 1920! Get it? Prohibition?

Maybe?

Be sure to enter the Arbor Mist Summer Sweepstakes and visit the Simple Entertaining Social Hub for more great entertaining ideas.

Do a girl a favor and pin this patio party!

Party ideas to help you plan the perfect backyard patio party #Arbormist #StartSummer #Ad
 

Permanent link to this article: http://horriblehousewife.com/2015/05/patio-party/

May 04

When Life Hands You Poop

Our poopy butts were compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #CVSHuggiesHeroes #CollectiveBias

Two brothers, one bottle, and endless poopy butts #CVSHuggiesHeroes #ad

Living with three males means my life revolves around poop. Green poop. Floaters. No wipers. Poop that pokes above the water. Any and all types of poop. Not my own poop, but still… poop.

You’d think with how often I talk about poop I would spend more time on the throne purging my own bowels. Nope. I just wipe butts and change diapers for a living. But not until we leave the hospital.

Michael playing with his little brother Maverick #CVSHuggiesHeroes #Ad

We have this rule: during our time in the postpartum room, Michael must change all of the poopy diapers until we leave the hospital. You know the ones I am talking about, black, tarry stools requiring nothing short of a chisel to remove from your bundle of joy’s behind.

Which is how we discovered the difference between your first child and the second.

One of our nights in casa de la ripped whoohaas, Michael woke up, like any male fearing the wrath of a woman who just delivered a watermelon, to change Maverick’s diaper. He pooped. No big deal.

Except, when you have 3 years between your kids, you are a little out of practice and forget the tricks of a diaper change. Yanno, like closing the dirty diaper and placing it under their butt until you finish wiping. Just in case.

Hanging outside in his poop free Huggies Little Movers #CVSHuggiesHeroes #Ad

You see, Maverick is a start, pause, start back up again pooper, but on that evening we were still getting to know each other. We had no clue what was coming next. Until it hit us. One more tiny grunt and the blanket covering his bassinet was a tarry mess. We needed a new blanket.

Little did we know, though, that minutes later he would water what was left of the bassinet, making the blanket the least of our worries because now… now we needed a new bassinet.

I don’t know if it was the exhaustion or the thought that even parents of multiples will get poo-poohed on, but we laughed. Hysterical laughter floated out of our room and, for a minute, we appreciated the late night giggles instead of the tears we experienced with Michael.

Babies do not enjoy diaper blowouts #CVSHuggiesHeroes #Ad

Sort of like we knew what we were doing. But not really.

I’m hoping it won’t always be like this because the only grown-up conversation I was planning on having was about the birds and the bees. I wasn’t planning on having the hemorrhoid talk with him before he turned 18 because I very much prefer talking about sharts gone wrong.

I will keep my fingers crossed that he learns a better technique and continue to plow through my trusty stockpile of Huggies Snug & Dry and Little Movers. I’m not loyal to either but I know a lot of moms are. Are you on Team Snug & Dry or Team Little Movers?

Shopping for Huggies Snug & Dry and Little Movers at CVS Health #CVSHuggiesHeroes #Ad

On the way home from a steroid treatment, I popped into CVS Health to check out their cane selection and ended up walking out with a tower of diapers. What? The diapers were on sale! You know I can’t resist a good diaper deal!

Tip: Don’t forget to print out a $2 off of $10 Huggies coupon and follow Huggies on Facebook and Twitter!

 

Permanent link to this article: http://horriblehousewife.com/2015/05/poopy-butts/

May 02

Mother’s Day Party

This Mother’s Day party has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone.
#BestMomsDayEver #CollectiveBias

Simple party ideas for a colorful Mother's Day party #BestMomsDayEver #ad
The past 9 months have been tough, but the past 3 months have rocked my world. Each and every day is like a game of will I be able to walk today. Will I be able to open my own bottle of water, or will I have to rely on my support system to make up where I physically fail in the mom department. I’m so ready to blow this Popsicle joint for good. Sayonara. Good riddance. Arrivederci.

Although it’s been challenging, I have come to realize what a lucky lady I am. I have an amazing group of people willing to help out however they can. Laundry, helping me take pictures, spending time with Michael, comforting Maverick in ways that are difficult for me, anything and everything. And, it should come as no surprise, the majority of them are mothers. Moms are the best.

I am grateful beyond belief. So much so that I find myself at a loss when it comes to thinking about ways to express my gratitude. What do you do when you feel like you should do more than say ‘thank you’? You guessed it! I default to my love language- parties.

Mother’s Day Party Decorations:

High impact, feminine Mother's Day party ideas. #BestMomsDayEver #ad
It was important for me to find a balance between the perfect party plan and the reason for the party. I didn’t want to overshadow the message, but I didn’t want to run out to the closest fast food joint either.

Behind the scenes: The blue flower was Michael’s contribution to this party. He can be adorably frustrating when he makes last minute adjustments. Ha! 

Create a backdrop for your Mother's Day party out of cards #BestMomsDayEver #ad
And then it hit me.

My focal point was made out of a burlap pinboard and a few Mother’s Day cards from American Greetings. Is there a better way to focus on the ladies in my life than a display of my gratitude for all to see?

How to make a colorful banner for a Mother's Day party using plastic tablecloths #BestMomsDayEver #ad
The banner took all of 30 minutes to create. I cut the strips out of plastic tablecloths, tied them to a piece of baker’s twine, and secured it to the table with duct tape.

Speaking of duct tape, I wrapped my vase of oranges and the glass drink containers in a teal/aqua tape, and dressed it up with a pink washi tape. Easy and still oh so adorable!

How to create a colorful tablescape for your Mother's Day party #BestMomsDayEver #ad
It was sheer luck that I found this tablecloth! I found it as I was doing my usual browse everything in the store in an effort to buy all-the-things. Is it not perfect? And beautiful? And perfect?

Keep colorful silverware within reach by placing it on the table #BestMomsDayEver #ad
Keeping with the color scheme, I added silverware and napkins to the table. I figured it would be smarter to keep everything within reach of the little people so they had fewer chances to spill our grub all over the floor. A valid concern in our home seeing how Michael applies the 3 second rule to everything. Without telling you.

Teal candle holders give your Mother's Day table a warm feel #BestMomsDayEver #ad
I thought about filling these candle holders with candy but…

Bowls of candy make a great party favor #BestMomsDayEver #ad
I decided to turn these adorable jewelry holders into individual candy dishes. Candy dishes filled with mama bear’s favorite candy.

Mother’s Day Party Food:

Save time by picking up a box of chicken from Walmart #BestMomsDayEver #ad
I knew I wanted the food to be easy, so I started with my mom’s favorite meal- fried chicken. Walmart makes a mean fried chicken, guys. You know, for my fellow lovers of shortcuts.

Decorate your Mother's Day party by dressing up vases with different types of tape before filling them with oranges #BestMomsDayEver #ad
I peeled some mandarin oranges for a few reasons:

  • I didn’t want to hear “will you peel this orange for me” the entire evening.
  • I liked the extra pop of orange the vase provided.

Keep the Mother's Day party menu simple by serving pasta salad from the deli #BestMomsDayEver #ad
I added some pasta salad because I can get it from the deli. Shortcuts.

Serve berries right out of their containers #BestMomsDayEver #ad
I added a mix of berries.

Flower sugar cookies for a Mother's Day party #BestMomsDayEver #ad
And finished with my mom’s favorite dessert- sugar cookies! Only the most important thing on the menu.

Colorful sugar cookies give you Mother's Day party flair #BestMomsDayEver #ad

Note: This was my first time using Wilton icing. I’m torn because it isn’t smooth, but Wilton beats Betty Crocker when it comes to color selection.

Mother’s Day Party Activities:

The perfect Mother's Day gift #BestMomsDayEver #ad
I know my mom looks at her time helping me as a great way to spend time with her grandkids, but I wanted to get her something in addition to a card. She deserves so much. So, so much. Although, any gift is just a drop in the bucket.

Note: The wall art pictured above was the inspiration for this party.

Pictures and candy make the best Mother's Day gifts #BestMomsDayEver #ad

I picked out the gift wrap, cards, and the picture frame from the “One-Stop Shop” from American Greetings at Walmart. It was easy. Heck, I found the aforementioned jewelry holders and wall art in the same display!

Mom's never get a day off #BestMomsDayEver #ad
Outside of gifts, I didn’t plan any activities. I know, right? Talking, laughing, and playing with the kids seemed much more appropriate.

A Mother's Day party is a great way to spend time together as a family #BestMomsDayEver #ad
Oh, and reading about superheros.

Behind the scenes: Don’t mind Michael’s ‘beach party’. He thinks planning a party means spreading the decorations out so they cover every inch of everything. It’s precious and a mess all at the same time. 

Shopping for Mother's Day cards at Walmart #BestMomsDayEver #ad
See? It really was a “One-Stop Shop”. You should check it out when you are out and about!

#BestMomsDayEver Giveaway- $4,000 Prize Value

 

Do a girl a favor and pin this Mother’s Day party!

Party ideas to help you throw a Mother's Day party flower sugar cookies, DIY banner, decorative vases, and more! #BestMomsDayEver #ad
 

Permanent link to this article: http://horriblehousewife.com/2015/05/mothers-day-party/

Apr 30

Tropical Vacation Party

How to host a tropical vacation party
Homegirl needs a vacation. Preferably somewhere warm, sans poopy diapers and the lingering aroma of spit-up. A vacation that allows me to slip into my slinky maternity swimsuit and shake the modified version of what my mama gave me. Yanno, with a husband who managed to hit the gym weekly during my oh so inactive pregnancy.

The struggle, you guys. The struggle.

Seeing how finding a sitter for two kids is the equivalent of asking for someone’s first born, I shelved my island dreams and created a tropical vacation… in my backyard. Totally the same, no?

Tropical Vacation Party Decorations:

Decorate your tropical vacation party with pineapple paper lanterns
This party was a breeze (See what I did right there? Breeze? Get it?) to throw together. I’m talking like 24 hours from conception to execution.

Start by finding a tree to hang festive pineapple paper lanterns from.

Easy coconut centerpiece for a tropical vacation party
Buy some brown sugar. Yes, brown sugar. I opened our sandbox and… uh… let’s just say that its current condition requires a hazmat suit. Note to self: The lid isn’t an optional feature.

Coconut centerpiece for a tropical vacation party
You can fill the coconut with color coordinated leis if you want more color, but I opted for the more traditional greenery so it didn’t compete with my pillows. I think the centerpiece turned out classy. Classy like my alter ego.

Hawaiian shirt napkins and hula skirts for cans in a giant seashell
And what would a tropical vacation party be without Hawaiian shirts and hula skirts? Maybe even a bit of limbo? Kidding. I am definitely not as limber as my once legs over the shoulder self.

Which is why I opted for Hawaiian shirt napkins and hula skirts for our beverages.

Give the chairs some festive flair with a colorful lei
Oh, and, don’t forget the leis. Leis and tiki torches are actual requirements. I hung a lei on the back of each chair so they could act as decorations until the party got going. We all know how it takes people an adult beverage or two to dress up.

Tropical Vacation Party Food:

Ocean cupcakes for a tropical vacation party
Believe it or not, ocean cupcakes are not difficult to create. Honest to goodness. Go ‘head and purchase a package of paper umbrellas and keep the brown sugar handy. You definitely do not want to confuse the previously mentioned sand from the sandbox with the brown sugar.

Note: I will update the party plan when my ocean cupcakes tutorial goes live.

Chips and salsa for a tropical vacation party
Add some chips and salsa.

Watermelon fruit bowl filled with watermelon and honeydew for a tropical vacation party
And festive bowls of fruit.

Coconut shrimp is a great menu item for a tropical vacation party
And coconut shrimp. Because coconut anything is automatically tropical.

Palm tree cooler filled with Palm Breeze and water for a tropical vacation party
And a themed adult beverage. Yanno, like a beverage called Palm Breeze. Palm Breeze that also happens to come fully equipped with images of palm trees and a crystal clear ocean. How’s that for party planning convenience?

It evens comes in two tropical flavors- Ruby Red Citrus and Pineapple Mandarin Orange. <AND> I just might be sipping on a pineapple mandarin orange at this very moment. Write drunk, edit sober?

Kidding.

Drink responsibly, ya goons!

Note: Consider yourself lucky if you live in a city hosting a Palm Breeze girl’s night out:

You don't need drink labels when you have drink hula skirts
Let’s talk taste so you can decide if it fits your party plan.

Palm Breeze is a flavored malt beverage, sort of like a beer. It says flavored beer on the can, but it didn’t make me gaggy like beer does. It also didn’t make my teeth fuzzy like some of the sweet, lady friendly drinks do. I guess that makes it a lady beer? A beer for you and your girlfriends? Whatever you classify it as, you will find it with the other beer.

Tropical Vacation Party Activities:

Sitting around a fire is the perfect activity for a tropical vacation party
I might be too awkward for limbo, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get down on a fire. I love me some caveman TV! It’s the perfect activity. Unless you are the one sitting in the smoke cloud repeating ‘I like rabbits’ like it does something.

How to decorate a tropical vacation party
So, what do you think? Will a tropical vacation party suffice?

Maybe?

I know the answer is no but I tried. ‘A’ for effort?

Do a girl a favor and pin this tropical vacation party!

Ideas to help you throw a tropical vacation party in your backyard
I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

Permanent link to this article: http://horriblehousewife.com/2015/04/tropical-vacation-party/

Apr 24

MARVEL’s The Avengers: Age of Ultron Party

This MARVEL’s The Avengers: Age of Ultron Party has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #AvengersUnite #CollectiveBias

Party ideas for a MARVEL's The Avengers Age of Ultron Party #AvengersUnite #Ad
I know I’m not the only fangirl to park my derriere in front of the boob tube before a new movie hits the big screen. It’s what you do. Not to mention, studying is fun when your subjects are Robert Downey Jr and Chris Hemsworth. SO much better than something useful like Algebra.

Since I throw some sort of party, for every reason under the sun, I am going to show you how to do a movie marathon party for MARVEL’s The Avengers: Age of Ultron the bomb dot com way. Ready?

Captain America cupcakes for a MARVEL's The Avengers Age of Ultron party #AvengersUnite #Ad
Start by making fun cupcakes. Emphasis on fun. Extra fun cupcakes are the key to getting people to look past their bikini body blunder and they strengthen your party theme.

Note: Check out my Thor hammer cupcake tutorial and this Captain America cupcake tutorial.

Hulk Smashed Potatoes for a MARVEL's The Avengers Age of Ultron Party #AvengersUnite #Ad
Now it’s time to get clever with my secret weapon- a rhyming dictionary!

I started with Hulk smashed potatoes because… genius.

And, in an effort to keep my focal point tidy and free of clutter, I only set out portioned food for the tiny party guests. The majority of the adults were fully capable of serving themselves from the main dish in the kitchen. Portioning out 5 pounds of potatoes would have taken a lifetime.

Note: I found the soap dishes at Walmart for a buck a piece! Hooray for clearance and out of the box thinking!

Hawkeye buckeyes for a MARVEL's The Avengers Age of Ultron Party #AvengersUnite #Ad
I wish I could take credit for the Hawkeye buckeyes but I can’t. It was all Michael. I did, however, think of another out of the box decor detail. I placed Captain America’s shield on top of an Iron Man wastebasket and called it the equivalent of a cake plate.

Iron mac and cheese for a MARVEL's The Avengers Age of Ultron Party #AvengersUnite #Ad
Michael might have been responsible for half of the naming, but I am pretty proud of my Hulk smashed potatoes and Iron mac and cheese. I wish you could see my bug-eyed, this is what memes are made out of face right now. Party details do things to me.

Note: I used my Silhouette to make enormous cupcake wrappers for the cups of mac and cheese.

Iron Man waste baskets make great drink coolers at a MARVEL's The Avengers Age of Ultron Party #AvengersUnite #Ad
Not only did I use the wastebaskets for my towers, the metal cans were perfect ‘coolers’ for our beverages. Oh, and they are sitting on a pillowcase. More on that later, though.

Note: I put ice packs in the bottom of each can to cut down on the amount of potential melted ice (AKA water) on my floor if Hulk got out of hand. Superheros are not immune to accidents.

Iron Man cookies for a MARVEL's The Avengers Age of Ultron Party #AvengersUnite #Ad
I whipped up some Iron Man cookies…

Thor S'mores for a MARVEL's The Avengers Age of Ultron Party #AvengersUnite #Ad
… and Michael came up with Thor s’mores. Yanno, what’s a party without a sugar coma?

Lame. The answer you are looking for is lame.

Note: You can heat the s’mores in the microwave, the oven, over a grill, or over a gas stove. Kids don’t care as long as it’s ooey and gooey.

Ultron bonbons for a MARVEL's The Avengers Age of Ultron Party #AvengersUnite #Ad
And then he added more sugar in the form of Ultron bonbons. I think he was on a mission to get me to purchase all things sugar so I never lose my baby weight.

It’s working.

Purple and green Hulk silverware for a MARVEL's The Avengers Age of Ultron Party #AvengersUnite #Ad
I added Cheez-It baked snack crackers, Doritos, and Kellogg’s Fruit Snacks to our menu because I NEED to snack during a movie. We all have our weaknesses. Mine happens to be of the cheesy goodness and chewy fruit bites sort.

Note: Out of the box thinking wins again! I used the top sheet from a set of twin sheets for my tablecloth. The pillowcase pictured with the drinks was included with the sheets.

Hulk guarding the party favors for our MARVEL's The Avengers Age of Ultron Party #AvengersUnite #Ad
Speaking of snacks… I found a combination box in the snack aisle, so I filled the favor bags with a small bag of Cheez-It baked snack crackers, Kellogg’s Fruit Snacks, and Rice Krispies Treats. It was perfect and required zero effort.

I made sure we had Iron Man 1, 2, & 3; Captain America 1 & 2, Thor 1 & 2, and The Avengers on hand for our viewing pleasure. Which is when I realized how neglected our green friend is. Poor guy.

MARVEL’s The Avengers: Age of Ultron Party Activities:

Ultron made an appearance at our MARVEL's The Avengers Age of Ultron Party #AvengersUnite #Ad
We played dress up. (Kudos to my mother in law for her participation!)

Playing superheros during our MARVEL's The Avengers Age of Ultron Party #AvengersUnite #Ad
Which led to playing superheros.

Watching The Avengers during our MARVEL's The Avengers Age of Ultron Party #AvengersUnite #Ad
And ended with movies. It was perfect.

How to create a party backdrop for a MARVEL's The Avengers Age of Ultron party using curtains #AvengersUnite #Ad
Here’s the skinny on how I turned the curtains into the backdrop:

  1. Start by hanging a white piece of fabric.
  2. Put the curtains on a curtains rod before hanging the rod at the same level as the white fabric.
  3. Give your husband ample time to figure out that you used two nails to secure the rod.
  4. Pinky promise you will patch the holes in the wall… eventually.
  5. Never patch the holes.

Shopping at Walmart for The Avengers food #AvengersUnite #Ad

As crazy as it sounds, I couldn’t sleep one night and found myself scrolling through the Avengers items on Walmart.com. I was looking for inspiration that wasn’t so mainstream. Something equally as cool as the Captain America backdrop from the previous party. That’s when I found the curtains and ev-ver-ry-thing else I purchased to indulge my tiny superhero’s obsession with all things superhero

Which is how we ended up spending some quality Mommy/Michael time at Walmart. Purchasing every stinkin’ product marked with his beloved superheros. He swore Dr Pepper Cherry was his favorite superhero drink even though he’s never had a lick of soda in his life. Well played, marketing.

Also, there is an app called Super Heroes Assemble (Current Studios) available right now that should keep your little superhero busy experiencing an augmented reality while you shop for groceries. I’ve got tricks for days, you guys!

Now that you see how easy it is to party like a superhero, will you be catching up before seeing MARVEL’s The Avengers: Age of Ultron?

Do a girl a favor and pin this MARVEL’s The Avengers: Age of Ultron Party!

Party ideas for a MARVEL's The Avengers Age of Ultron Party- Hulk smashed potatoes, Thor s'mores, Ultron bonbons, Iron mac and cheese, and more! #AvengersUnite #Ad

Permanent link to this article: http://horriblehousewife.com/2015/04/age-of-ultron-party/

Older posts «