Tag Archive: Motherhood

Nov 13

Color Me Unprepared: My Battle with Nesting

Some women love nesting. They find pleasure in tiny booties neatly lined up on a nursery shelf. Their nurseries look like the Pinterest board they crafted before it was remotely time to squat over a pee stick. They proudly display the beauty of pregnancy on their wall by means of a belly cast. They were destined to …

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Oct 19

Toddler Eczema Follow-Up

I participated in an Influencer Activation Program on behalf of Influence-Central to talk about toddler eczema for #AveenoEczemaTherapy. I received a sample to facilitate my review and a thank you item for participating. Toddler eczema has rocked my mommy world from the very moment my goodies were sliced and diced. So many tears. So many guilty nights. …

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Jul 10

Dark Side of Potty Training

“Don’t play with your penis at the dinner table.” “Don’t pee on the wall!” “Hang on, I have to wipe your butt!” “Just pull down your pants and pee on the tree.” I received the cleaning products mentioned in this potty training story for free from the sponsor of the Moms MeetSM program, May Media Group …

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Dec 06

8 Pregnancy Facts {Advent Calendar Day 5}

Pregnancy facts are my inspiration for day 5 of the advent calendar! Weird? You betcha. Relevant? Absolutely! Michael has been acting a fool lately and I have no farking idea why. A toddler that won’t sleep boils down to no showers. No showers means I’m a greasy monkey. Being a greasy monkey means I can’t …

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Nov 21

Poop Goes Fffrrpppppppttttttt?

I had an entire Thanksgiving themed post concocted about what I am thankful for, yadda-yadda, and wasn’t feeling it at all because you got a pretty good motherhood rant a few days ago. You know me and if it isn’t flowing, it ain’t gonna happen. But then something miraculous took place, as I was preparing …

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Nov 20

Toddler Tantrum Coping Mechanism

Believe it or not, I experienced a toddler tantrum that had me considering an iced latte for its sweet treat capabilities; the largest cup of coffee I could purchase to get my mind racing; and booze to make me forget about the toddler tantrum Michael graced me with this morning. I’m soooo dramatic, but seriously, I …

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Aug 22

Bring on the Boob Fetish!

Toss out the ‘do your boobs hang low‘ soundtrack and cue the boob fetish music because I’m ready for my closeup! I’m not sure what boob fetish music is but surely it has something to do with your breasts and is upbeat. Get it… UP-beat? Farck! What is Michael doing to me? Like most BlogHer …

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Jun 07

Toddler Says is BACK with So Much to Say!

This post brought to you by Allstate. All opinions are 100% mine. Toddler says… mama Toddler says… dada Toddler says… hi Toddler says… bye bye Toddler says… gaga (grandma) Toddler says… nana Toddler says… cheers? One of you guys should have given me the heads up that toddler words are like a waterfall, they come …

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Jan 06

Toddler Says: Momma!

Guess what? I’m starting a new series called Toddler Says! It’s about to be all, “OMG, did you see Michael blink? OMG, did you know Michael is the best breather in town? OMG, Michael learned how to poop!” up in here. Not so much, but it will be pretty cool to document the different words …

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Dec 15

Wine with Mallery- Who Do You Let in the Delivery Room?

Day 13 of the Wine with Mallery Advent Calendar could spark some controversy with the topic I am discussing… guests in the delivery room. I would love to hear your opinions and/or experiences to see what other people think about guests in the delivery room. Wine with Mallery cliff notes for those who can’t watch the …

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