Perfect Christmas Gift {Advent Calendar Day 8}

2013 wine advent calendar- how to use nipple clamps if they wind up in your perfect Christmas gift #winewithmallery

I'm here to spill the beans on the perfect Christmas gift for the lucky broad in your life. And let me tell ya, this ain't your mama's perfect Christmas gift! Well... maybe, if your mama is like me. You guys know I was a dildo slinger in a previous career, right? That's right, I strolled into ... [ Read More ]

Keeping it Real With Slimfessions

Slimfessions are anonymous admissions about why you are getting in shape

This post brought to you by Slimfast. All opinions are 100% mine. Slimfessions are all the rage right now and, let me tell you... this oversharer has a good one to confess to the blogosphere! {Cue the sexy music blended with a healthy dose of brown chicken, brown cow.} Slimfessions are ... [ Read More ]

Honeymoon Vacation Sex

Hotel room must haves for great vacation sex include Fresh and Sexy wipes and wine #FreshNSexy #shop #cbias

When you think of vacation sex you think of raspy breathing, disheveled hair, and thank goodness I don't have to clean this mess up love making. I'm talking about one step below Bunny Ranch sex, where heavy petting is just the tip of the iceberg, and fantasies come to life. Mmmhmmm... Vacation ... [ Read More ]

Top 5 Nerdy Pickup Lines

Top 5 nerdy pickup lines

Nerdy pickup lines exist. They exist and they make me giggle. They make me giggle because the highly intelligent men who use them KNOW they drop panties quicker than ANY other pickup line on the market. Fellas, we have all watched Friends a million and a half times. (Especially the episode where ... [ Read More ]

Bathroom Etiquette for the Not So Perfect Couple

5 bathroom etiquette tips for couples when their other half is in the shower

Let's talk bathroom etiquette for a minute... You're sitting with your friends and all of a sudden, the putrid smell of rotten eggs starts to burn your nostrils. Oh my goodness, who did that? Do you just ignore it to save the stinky culprit from embarrassment, or point out the foul smelling elephant ... [ Read More ]

What She Really Wanted for Valentine’s Day

Next time you will know what she wanted for Valentine's Day {Horrible Housewife}

I told you I would be back with a post about what she really wanted for Valentine's Day! The top 10 gifts I shared with you last week are good gifts, just not want she really wanted from you. Don't be a fool two years in a row and save this post for next year! What she really wanted for ... [ Read More ]