Perfect Christmas Gift {Advent Calendar Day 8}

2013 wine advent calendar- how to use nipple clamps if they wind up in your perfect Christmas gift #winewithmallery

I’m here to spill the beans on the perfect Christmas gift for the lucky broad in your life. And let me tell ya, this ain’t your mama’s perfect Christmas gift! Well… maybe, if your mama is like me. You guys know I was a dildo slinger in a previous career, right? That’s right, I strolled […]

The Girl with Purple Hair {Advent Calendar Day 7}

2013 wine advent calendar- the girl with the purple hair #winewithmallery

Hey, yeah, so… I have purple hair. Shocker, amiright? Perhaps I am gunning for a Suicide Girls spread? I wish. Unfortunately, I’m not getting naked for the masses, but I can’t sit here and say those broads aren’t smokin’ hot. Smokin’ hot, I tell ya! Moving on… Reactions to my purple hair Trader Joe’s L’Authentique Red […]

Sorry Not Sorry {Advent Calendar Day 6}

2013 Wine with Mallery advent calendar- Sorry not sorry {confessions from a workaholic} #winewithmallery

Sorry not sorry has sort of been my motto the second half of 2013. Fuck me, I forgot to wish you a happy birthday? Sorry, homie, but I’m not really sorry. I know. I know. I’m such an asshole for not paying attention to Facebook’s constant reminder of my shitty friend status. {Insert some sort […]

8 Pregnancy Facts {Advent Calendar Day 5}

8 Pregnancy facts that will leave you wishing you had Superman underwear on your head #winewithmallery

Pregnancy facts are my inspiration for day 5 of the advent calendar! Weird? You betcha. Relevant? Absolutely! Michael has been acting a fool lately and I have no farking idea why. A toddler that won’t sleep boils down to no showers. No showers means I’m a greasy monkey. Being a greasy monkey means I can’t […]

Getting Back in Shape {Advent Calendar Day 3}

2013 wine advent calendar- taking midsection measurements because getting back in shape is important #winewithmallery

Farkkkkk me, I need to get back into shape! You guys, a wine advent calendar is a bit of an oxymoron when it comes to getting back in shape but tis the season to be pudgy- fa la la la la. Wine is a fruit, right? No? Wahhhhh! My hard body dreams might be crushed! Whyyyy me? Getting […]

2013 Wine Advent Calendar {Day 1}

2013 Wine advent calendar- Wine with Mallery day 1 #winewithmallery

Shit yeah, you guys! It’s been a year since my wine advent calendar launched me into the crazy world of vlogging and some people might even consider me a YouTuber now. Or something. Meh, I don’t think I will be speaking at VidCon anytime soon. What I do know is this… Wine advent calendar = […]