Tag Archive: Trader Joe’s

Dec 12

Perfect Christmas Gift {Advent Calendar Day 8}

I’m here to spill the beans on the perfect Christmas gift for the lucky broad in your life. And let me tell ya, this ain’t your mama’s perfect Christmas gift! Well… maybe, if your mama is like me. You guys know I was a dildo slinger in a previous career, right? That’s right, I strolled …

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Dec 12

The Girl with Purple Hair {Advent Calendar Day 7}

Hey, yeah, so… I have purple hair. Shocker, amiright? Perhaps I am gunning for a Suicide Girls spread? I wish. Unfortunately, I’m not getting naked for the masses, but I can’t sit here and say those broads aren’t smokin’ hot. Smokin’ hot, I tell ya! Moving on… Reactions to my purple hair Trader Joe’s L’Authentique Red …

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Dec 11

Sorry Not Sorry {Advent Calendar Day 6}

Sorry not sorry has sort of been my motto the second half of 2013. Fuck me, I forgot to wish you a happy birthday? Sorry, homie, but I’m not really sorry. I know. I know. I’m such an asshole for not paying attention to Facebook’s constant reminder of my shitty friend status. {Insert some sort …

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Dec 06

8 Pregnancy Facts {Advent Calendar Day 5}

Pregnancy facts are my inspiration for day 5 of the advent calendar! Weird? You betcha. Relevant? Absolutely! Michael has been acting a fool lately and I have no farking idea why. A toddler that won’t sleep boils down to no showers. No showers means I’m a greasy monkey. Being a greasy monkey means I can’t …

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Dec 03

Getting Back in Shape {Advent Calendar Day 3}

Farkkkkk me, I need to get back into shape! You guys, a wine advent calendar is a bit of an oxymoron when it comes to getting back in shape but tis the season to be pudgy- fa la la la la. Wine is a fruit, right? No? Wahhhhh! My hard body dreams might be crushed! Whyyyy me? Getting …

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Dec 01

2013 Wine Advent Calendar {Day 1}

Shit yeah, you guys! It’s been a year since my wine advent calendar launched me into the crazy world of vlogging and some people might even consider me a YouTuber now. Or something. Meh, I don’t think I will be speaking at VidCon anytime soon. What I do know is this… Wine advent calendar = …

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Mar 11

Happy Birthday to Jillian Warner!

Wine with Mallery IS BACK with a special happy birthday to a not so special Jillian Warner! Or vise versa? Who knows. This is what I do know about  the birthday girl’s video: My teeth are purple. I’m blitzed. I sing to the birthday girl. You shouldn’t watch it unless you want to laugh your …

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Dec 31

Wine with Mallery- Merry {Late} Christmas!

Day 24 of Wine with Mallery is finally upon us and is a total slackers unite kind of post! I figured I wouldn’t suck so hard if I got a late Christmas post up, versus no Christmas post at all. Whatever makes me feel better about myself, right? I super, duper, promise the video has …

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Dec 30

Wine with Mallery- Why I Fail at Christmas

Day 23 of Wine with Mallery is finally upon us! This is going to be a true Whine Wine with Mallery as I explain to you why I failed at Christmas this year. I sucked so hard that Michael’s well has officially run dry! That right there is pretty freaking sucktastic! Wine with Mallery cliff notes …

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Dec 28

Wine with Mallery- ♪♫ I Like Big Butts ♪♫

Day 22 of Wine with Mallery is way late but I am sure you understand. I mean, it was Christmas. I was without a computer for a very long time. I was also supposed to interact with my family. I would just like to say that I successfully interacted with all family members this Christmas! …

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