Believe it or not, I experienced a toddler tantrum that had me considering an iced latte for its sweet treat capabilities; the largest cup of coffee I could purchase to get my mind racing; and booze to make me forget about the toddler tantrum Michael graced me with this morning. I’m soooo dramatic, but seriously, I almost left my kid at the gym because HE WOULD NOT STOP SCREAMING.
Let me paint a picture for you because I don’t think you understand how this tantrum compared to his other toddler tantrums.
My uterus was jumping out of my body, much like men have the ability to shrivel up inside themselves, to ensure Michael remained an only child. It went a little like this.. “I don’t want to make any more babies. I just want to live a life free of babies. Please don’t make me. No. Not ovulation. Noooooooo!”
Being the grownup that I am on occasion, I went with the iced latte because I was 1- driving and 2- it was 12:30 in the afternoon by the time I needed something to calm my nerves. (Note- I don’t smoke and I’m saving all of my drink before 5pm passes for my Wine with Mallery advent calendar.)
You guys know I don’t typically give parenting advice because there are 5 million, trillion mommy blogs out there providing you with said information, but…
Toddler tantrum tips
- Give them something to do– I don’t mean a task like playing chicken with the Ford F-350 in the parking lot, or picking out your newest knife set in the home goods section of Walmart, but grabbing a bottle of Green Mountain Coffee Espresso Iced Latte out of the cooler works just fine. (See what I did there? You should know that I put my money where my mouth is because I have previously used my tip during a shopping trip. It’s true.)
- Ignore them– I would have absolutely left him in the daycare room (because I have a lot of practice with this tip) if he would have skipped out on the digging his nails into the door to escape the room trick. No joke. My child was trying to tunnel out of the room with his Fisher Price spoon and fingernails. I even noticed tiny nail scratches in the glass door when we left.
- Drinking copious amounts of whatever– My toddler tantrum coping drink happens to be of the alcoholic type, but, when I’m trying to be an upstanding citizen, I pull out something sweet. I’m not jerking your chain here because my picture is in the dictionary next to stress eater/drinker, and a toddler tantrum qualifies as a stressful situation. So, today I coped with a glass (or two) of vanilla Green Mountain Coffee Espresso Iced Latte and a pizza because that’s what I had in my fridge and Hungry Howies delivers. It is what it is…
The vanilla is like grown up chocolate milk. Yes. I like that comparison.
And when life hands you a toddler tantrum…
You make this…
- Green Mountain Coffee Espresso Iced Latte in vanilla and slightly frozen.
- Top with chocolate and caramel sauce.
Hide in the closetPlay hide and seek while you enjoy your treat!
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Green Mountain. The opinions and text are all mine.