One would think the bra bandit residing in my house would be my husband. It only makes sense, right? One might also think that freeing the girls would result in my unmentionables being carelessly tossed around the house by yours truly, but, for once in my housewife track record, I am innocent! I am NOT the bra bandit!
BRA BANDIT OR SLEEP DEPRIVED HOUSEWIFE?
Let’s be honest for a minute, when you burn the midnight oil as frequently as I do, you start to forget when one day ends and another begins, so I really started to question where I was taking off my bras! You know, the bras I have to buy in the middle of the night so Michael doesn’t have a heart attack when he sees how much they cost? Yeah… Bandit (AKA Bra Bandit) is lucky we are kitty whipped because bras aren’t cheap!
You know you’re kitty whipped when…
- You take in 1 stray cat because a horrible snowstorm and end up with 5.
- You sleep with your arm above your head because your cat enjoys running their cardboard like tongue over your armpit sweat.
- You find yourself admitting how much you miss waking up to the cat grooming your head.
- You still own the cat that relieved herself on your back when you were laying in bed.
- You clean the litter box more than you clean your toilet.
Having 5 cats can mean a few things: you need to purchase a king size bed, you have plenty of options for cat bearding, and there is always fecal matter in your house. Always. I dream of cat poop and my kid even ate a dingleberry that fell off somewhere in the house when he was younger. Which, by the way, was the vilest child cleanup project I have ever experienced as a parent! I promise cleaning cat poop out of your child’s mouth DOES NOT belong on your bucket list! *shudder*
I’m not sure if you can tell or not but I sort of have a favorite cat litter that keeps my heavily trafficked litter boxes maintained. Just throwing it out there in case you missed it, but it’s a little brand called Fresh Step. Just sayin’. I mean, I don’t think the picture truly explains how much we love Fresh Step cat litter in this house.
When you have 5 furbabies you start to consider yourself a cat litter expert. You start thinking about how natural the cat litter is, and if it contains something extra like plant extracts and carbon to keep your house from smelling like a urinal. I have a son that will take after his dad and insist on peeing no handed, I don’t need my bra bandit aiding in the smelly boy stage.
Now that I think about it, I should probably go online and input my Paw Points codes because I have quite a few that will earn me double Paw Points right now! Just call me a sucker for a rewards program where I can earn free cat litter.
But seriously, you will earn double Paw Points on the 42 lb. packages from Sam’s Club between 9/9 and 10/31, and as someone who purchases a lot of cat litter… Sam’s Club is cheaper than a lot of the stores in our area.
And because I’m all about helping a lazy housewife… blame the pets if you need a patsy. Just don’t tell your spouse I was the source of the tip!