Constipation is a scary word unless you deal with it weekly *cough* like me *cough*. I still come across pregnant women who are freaking out over the smallest things, like constipation, when there are products, like DulcoEase® Pink™, to help said small things. Ladies, constipation is the least of your worries when you are about to push a 9 pound baby out of your vagina. Trust me.
SEMEN SOFTENS THE CERVIX-
Using semen to soften the cervix sounds like a simple concept, right? I guess some men, AKA Michael, are unable to perform when there is a tiny human kicking them each time they thrust. What a bummer for me! The next time I am pregnant I’m thinking you will find a turkey baster on my night stand.
Kidding… or am I?
SIT DOWN THE FIRST TIME YOU LOOK AT YOUR NEW VAGINA-
I couldn’t bring myself to get the hand mirror out right away and play detective because I don’t really enjoy kissing the floor when wine isn’t involved. After a LONG TIME I finally brought myself to landscape and realized they cut me on a diagonal! What? Who does that? I guess the last thing you want is for them to cut straight down and then continue to rip down to your bumhole. You bet I am requesting my episiotomy on the opposite side because I need symmetry when it comes to my lady parts.
And that doesn’t mean I am OCD.
AFTER DELIVERY BLOOD CLOTS ARE PAINFUL-
I had NO idea I would birth a can of jellied cranberries once I got home from the hospital. My cranberry baby was so massive I had to text a picture to my mom and make sure I wasn’t dying, or something equally dramatic. My blood clot baby was just as enjoyable as birthing my placenta during my stitches, and I assure you that hurt like a son of a…
will could develop vagina empathy-
I did. I was SO EXCITED to be in the delivery room with my sister! So excited. That is, until I started to feel the pain in my own vagina. It was the most bizarre empathy experience I have ever had, and was probably caused by how recent my own delivery was. Maybe? I have no idea. All I know is I would have kissed the floor hard had I not taken a knee when it was my turn to hold her hand during her stitches.
CONSTIPATION ISN’T A BIG DEAL-
The moral of the story is constipation is the least of your worries. I assure you the nurses will start including a stool softener in your after delivery medications as soon as your doctor gives them the OK. And you can bet your bottom I sent Michael to the store for stool softeners as soon as I got home because there was no way in heck I was stopping my stool softeners before my stitches were gone, or my vagina quit hurting… ahem… 1.5 years later.(Note: You should always check with your doctor if you are pregnant or breastfeeding.)
My neurologist even recommended I take a stool softener like DulcoEase® Pink™ frequently to help with constipation due to one of my Multiple Sclerosis symptoms. Having a stimulant free stool softener to draw water into the bowel is a life saver for more than just pregnant women!
Psst… here is a $1.50 printable coupon for DulcoEase® Pink™!
As Michael’s July birthday creeps up my vagina starts to cry a little bit because it remembers that day. My poor, poor vagina remembers everything horrific about the day I gave birth to Michael. And for the record, everyone who says ‘you will forget it all once you hold your new baby’ is FULL OF CRAP! Maybe they should take the stool softener to purge those words of encouragement from their library because that isn’t the case for everyone.
For the record, I adore my terrible two toddler.
Every new mother’s toolkit should include DulcoEase® Pink™, the #1 OB/GYN recommended ingredient* for going #2. So if you are pregnant or breast feeding, ask your doctor if you should think Pink. Find savings on DulcoEase® Pink™ at www.MomsTalkDulcoEase.com!
*Among stool softener ingredients
This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of DulcoEase® Pink™. The opinions and text are all mine.