Horrible Housewife Disclosure Statement for snacking healthier with non gmo popcorn from Jolly Time

Do your boobs hang low?

Do they wobble to and fro?

Can you tie ‘em in a knot?

Can you tie ‘em in a bow?

Can you throw them o’er your shoulder- like a continental soldier?

Do your boobs hang low?

So, yeah, I am talking about postpartum breasts again because they are one of my obsessions things. I even have a countdown calendar for my boob job because postpartum breasts are such a thing to me (9 years to go)! That isn’t obsessive is it? Nah!

It wouldn’t be so bad if I could go in to get fitted without them disagreeing with me and telling me I’m a B. They lie! Liars! Women who look like men when they wear sports bras are NOT a B. I have this gap baloney when I wear a B that makes me want to shove Michael’s dirty, dirty tube socks in my bra! And trust me, his tube socks are gagarific! Blarch!

Do your boobs hang low JOCKEY bra fit kit #JOCKEYbra

Do your breasts still sag?

Do they droop despite the pad?

Do they ever fill the cup?

Do they ever fit the band?

Can you wave ‘em at your neighbor- for a quick and easy favor?

Do your breasts still sag?

Jockey Volumetric Fit Bras

I can hear you saying to the screen, “what the Sam is a Jockey Volumetric Fit Bra?” Ladies, it is your ticket to a bra fitting based on the volume of your breasts, not the measurements. Let me explain how you can get your hands on one of these bad devils:

  1. Go to Jockey’s website.
  2. Order a $20 Jockey® Fit Kit.
  3. Measure your goodies by filling the cup and measuring around your rib cage.
  4. Get a $20 credit, making your first bra $40.

It is easy and makes a world of sense, especially if your boobs hang low or are only half full like mine. Sigh…

Do your boobs hang low in a normal bra #JOCKEYbra

Do your boobs hang low music video

Don’t worry your pretty little heads, your Jockey® Fit Kit and bra video will come in my follow up post. I was feeling a little puffy and refused to publish a post about a bra without injecting some sort of humor, hence ‘do your boobs hang low’. Enjoy. Have a laugh. You are welcome!

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