WINE WITH MALLERY- HAVING A WORKING HOUSEWIFE AT HOME

Wine with Mallery- Living with a Housewife at Home

Are you ready for another million dollar question video? Today Michael is talking about what it is like to have a working housewife at home! You are going to find out exactly what it means to live with THE Horrible Housewife and will find out if I live up to my online persona. ?

WINE WITH MALLERY CLIFF NOTES FOR THOSE WHO CAN’T WATCH THE VIDEO…

Wine with Mallery- Having a housewife at home doesn't mean your house will look like this

You already know I didn’t pick this room up.

Every man out there dreams about having a housewife at home that cleans the house, has dinner on the table when they get home, looks like a supermodel, and sex happens all of the time.`

Pause for laughter…

Does everyone feel better? Good.

Puhleeze! That is only the case if you live with a stereotypical housewife who, by the way, hates her life! (Note: not all of those women hate their lives.) You know, a housewife from the fifties, AKA the polar opposite of me!

Sorry to disappoint you on your housewife fantasy… I lied, I’m not sorry.

Wine with Mallery- Having a housewife at home means your child gets to eat Cheerios off of the floor

Yes, I’m standing on my desk while taking this picture.

HAVING A {WORKING} HOUSEWIFE AT HOME MEANS…

  • Your toddler learns by wrecking the entire house doing.
  • Your toddler doesn’t have to change out of his pajamas. (Mommy doesn’t.)
  • Your toddler can eat off of the floor. (Grandma disagrees.)
  • Your house looks like someone has been playing in it all day. (Because they have.)
  • Your toddler’s life is documented and shared with the family as it happens.
  • It always seems to be pizza night because your housewife forgot to pull out dinner in the middle of all of the playing and/or working.
  • You don’t buy a lot of gas because your housewife doesn’t leave the house.
  • Have I mentioned the sex is good? Mmmhmmm!

ARE YOU READY FOR ME TO GET ALL SMARTY-PANTS ON YOU?

Having a housewife at home means you have to know what you care about the most and pick your battles wisely. What is more important to you: a clean house, dinner on the table, sex, a trophy wife, a happy child, or an additional income? Sorry fellas, you can’t have it all!

Ps: You should watch the video if you are looking for something more entertaining than this post. Today has been one of those days Little Michael thinks I don’t need to work. Pffftt! Is it time for him to go to school yet? ?

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