Terrible Twos – Tiny Bipolar Human – Little Walking
One day Michael is going to grow up and stumble upon this post and either A) Hate me. B) Hate me. C) Demand more allowance. D) Be a chill dude because he realizes how much I love him. Before he find this post, though, I am going to listen to his daddy tell me how mean I am for ‘making fun of him’. Because all I do is make fun of him. Blah. Blah. Blah. And this is the point in his life he realizes I have been the cool parent and his dad has been the fuddy duddy all along. True story.
The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother’s always a Democrat. –Robert Frost
Let’s get some real talk out of the way… Michael sometimes drive me nuts. I love him a ton, but I really mean it when I say he sometimes drives me freaking nuts. Nuts, I tell ya! I feel better. And for the record, every parent thinks their terrible twos child drives them nuts at one point during this process. Don’t let them pull the wool over your eyes!
A few reasons why I love my terrible two toddler
- I came home from a treatment and my mother-in-law asked me if Michael knew how to say the oh so delicate word for ba–donk-ka-donk . You bet he does! (Insert proud parent moment.)
- I am allowed to be late and/or miss events I didn’t really want to attend because I have a good excuse, AKA naptime. Thank you for the escape!
- My own experience with the terrible twos taught me not to be such a judgmental (not nice word).
- In public when a toddler was throwing down, before I had Michael, “Get that kid under control! Why do those parents bring their kid out to places other people are at? They should stay home until this phase is over.”
- In public NOW when a toddler is throwing a fit I’m like, “I feel soooo bad for the parents. Gah! Hopefully they find something to distract s/he with soon!”
- Michael woke up one morning and decided he wanted to wipe his own butt… on the toilet! What kid beats their parents to the punch on potty training?
And because I adore the terrible two love bug I call Michael, I take a week off to throw a wicked birthday party! Scratch that. I take a week off to throw TWO wicked birthday parties: one of his day of birth and one on the following Saturday.
Confession– I simply adore throwing parties. Themed parties. Little people parties. Parties for my cats. Parties for purple people. Parties!
This is your final warning about the party posts because Kleenex Hand Towels is dedicated to keeping my guests’ hands dry without using the goober filled towel the 50 other party guests used. I can only imagine at least one kid will wipe their nose, or something equally appealing, on the ‘community towel’ I will hang for decoration in the blue bathroom. Yanno, because terrible twos come with a bit of snot from their tantrums. Kleenex even agrees with me so it has to be true.
In home bathrooms with heavy foot traffic, shared cloth towels are often damp and germy due to overuse. Take control of your towel situation by visiting www.Kleenex.com, and join the 14 million people who have already joined the Clean Hands Campaign by using Kleenex Hand Towels.
Happy birthday to my not a baby anymore Michael!
I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.