
It always happens. I wake up with every intention of earning my wifey status, only it never seems to work out that way. Nope. Michael strolls into bedroom around 8:30 demanding we watch the same ABC show we watch every morning. To which I reply, “Go potty and we will watch ABCs.”
I lift my face mask and follow the pitter patter into the bathroom just in case he decides to pee all over the wall. Again. Then he insists on using my fun bags as pillows for the entire 50 minutes and 52 seconds we spend learning our ABCs. AGAIN. And then we discuss whether or not we should go to the gym. Which brings me to my first point…
I firmly believe everyone in need of an accountability partner should rent a toddler for the duration of their workout plan. Especially a toddler who is an only child and relies on the gym daycare for social interaction. Thigh gap is attainable when you have a tiny human reminding you it’s time to hit the weights!

But the fun doesn’t stop there. My day is filled with lots of “wipe my butt”, “I want green juice”, “Jeep doesn’t go in garage”, and my favorite “Cuddle on couch, watch mommy daddy shows”. Which means, by the time I even think about dinner, it’s nap time. I usually cross my fingers and hope there is something edible in the refrigerator for dinner.
Only, there isn’t.
I find a cooked chicken breast, pitiful asparagus, and eggs. Wifey fail.
Do I make omelets… again? Do I really feel like wrapping the asparagus in bacon… again? Efffffff! When was the last time we had pizza? Yesterday? Damn!
By now I realize I have to get creative.

PALEO EGG SCRAMBLE INGREDIENTS
- 8 Great Day Organic Eggs
- 1 Bushel of Asparagus
- 12 oz Bacon
- 1 Chicken Breast
- Olive oil
- 1/2 Tbsp Pepper
- 1/2 Tbsp Garlic Powder
- 1 tsp Salt
RECIPE INSTRUCTIONS
- Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
- Line a baking dish with a single layer of asparagus, coated with olive oil and seasonings.
- Cook the asparagus for 15-18 minutes.
- Meanwhile, cook the bacon and cut up the chicken.
- In a large skillet, heat a little olive oil and scramble the eggs.
- Mix in the chicken, bacon, and asparagus.
- Open your mouth and shovel goodness in!
And that, folks, is how I saved dinner.
Oh! I totally didn’t have to do any chores that evening. I might have even gotten a foot rub that night. My work here is done.
Enjoy!