PALEO MEAL PLAN #1

I know you guys think I force my household to eat cardboard but cardboard isn’t gluten free sooo… yeah…

My fellow ripped hoohaa ladies asked me to share what a normal paleo meal plan looks like for the Schuplin household so here I am… opening the floodgates on what’s good and what isn’t. My mission has been to test paleo recipes from other bloggers to see if they are worth a damn because I have shit to do, like build a LEGO playroom.

Now, wait a minute.

Let me be clear before I get going, mmmkay?

Paleo meal plans will NOT become a regular thing.
Paleo meal plans will NOT contain oh my effing goodness… that picture should be in a cookbook… images!

I’m sorry, dudes, but this chick eats pizza EVERY STINKIN’ Tuesday, paleo tacos just about every week, slow cooker roasts when life is so busy I can’t uncross my eyes, and we go out to eat most weekends. This is why I can’t do a weekly plan. What I can do is share as I go.

Do we have a deal?

Cool.

The orange chicken pictured above is PERFECT for PMS. Absolutely perfect. Whip this sucker up when you are craving sugar and you won’t be disappointed! I take no responsibility if your family turns into blood thirsty vampires once they realize there is only one piece left.

Not. My. Fault.

Chicken shawarma is up next!

It’s delicious but it takes 5 million-trillion ingredients because of the required spices. Stay home if your spice cupboard is made up of salt, pepper, and garlic powder.

And then we have pizza spirals.

These puppies turned out better than I thought they would because I am such a pizza person.

Word to the wise- Put the crushed red pepper in. Trust me. The blogger says it is optional but the slight punch in the mouth (it really wasn’t bad) is why I think this dish was delish.

(I slay myself. Ha!)

Lettuce wraps are sort of a no brainer. You can buy the lettuce at Kroger and put whatever the hell you want inside. A taco can be whatever you wish so long as you wrap it, curve your dainty hands around it, and open wide!

You are a perv! Just sayin’…

You should give paleo taco seasoning a whirl to avoid da bloat. And , if you just can’t do the lettuce wrap thing, try these paleo tortillas.

Find the salmon details in this post from last week because I am way too lazy to talk about it again. It was yummy and perfect for lazy people… like myself!

And finally, if you are looking for a little sugar before bed because your spouse is Fort Knox, try this applesauce. Seriously. It’s like ice cream but not. I make this recipe weekly and it never makes it to the 7th day of the week.

Now let’s talk about the honorable mentions…

This green chicken is just okay. Maybe because I had to bake mine since we are in the middle of snowpocalypse? I don’t know but it wasn’t a winner for us.

And then there was this pineapple chicken recipe. It was also just okay. More okay than the green chicken, but still just okay. At least this one will make it back into the lineup somewhere down the road.

There you have it! Not bad for my first paleo meal plan, eh? I even created a handy paleo meal plan #1 pin board for you guys!

Until whenever the next time is!