Primary Color Birthday Party

The party diva took the Schuplin household over again and this time it was a primary color birthday party for Leah. Dudes, that makes me an aunt to a 1 year old. She isn’t 6 months old, or even 11 months old anymore. This chick is a whole digit and that makes me her mom old. Her mom will have wrinkles before we know it and I, the cool aunt, won’t look a day over 25…

Shall we begin addressing my OCD party throwing habits?

Primary color birthday party- Easy tablescape, DIY cupcake stand, candy table, party favors

Here we have a gorgeous red, yellow, and blue (primary colors, smarty pants) birthday party created with mountains of love, and tender thoughts towards the wee lass’ desires. (Said in my best announcer voice for all of the visitors looking for loving, motivational content.)

Who am I kidding? I throw parties because I enjoy it and I am able to fully embrace my OCD tendencies without people thinking I’m ca-ra-zee. Like how the ripple in the yellow runner makes me twitch. Or how about the fact that the red crepe paper came loose moments before I took this picture and now it’s unbalanced. We could also talk about Bullwinkle insisting on making his celebrity debut in my pictures and that just isn’t acceptable.

Oh boy am I a whackadoodle! Why do you guys insist on sticking with my obsessive personality? Is it because I drink and make a fool of myself? Is it because I seriously considered no shave November until I started looking like a creepy porn star?

I don’t think I was supposed to say that out loud…

Moving on.

Primary color birthday party- ABC and 123 sugar cookies

Are you even a little curious how I came up with the primary color birthday party theme? Now, before you drink yourself into oblivion to drown the sorrows caused by the ‘boring theme’, listen up because her theme is legit. Dudes, the chubby little girl my kid thinks is his rag doll was born on 11-12…


Wait for it…

That means her first birthday fell on 11-12-13. That’s a bitchin’ birthday and you know it!

Moving on.

Primary color birthday party- DIY dollar store cupcake stand and cupcakes

Here are a few party crafting tips

  • Don’t buy cheap spray paint for your DIY dollar store cupcake stands. Just don’t. And if you send your husband to the store for spray paint tell him he isn’t getting laid if he comes home with cheap spray paint. Trust me.
  • Don’t use hot glue or what the hell else can of glue you think will work. It will work for the event but that’s about it. Trust me when I say E6000 craft adhesive, and it’s possible carcinogens, are worth using. In a well ventilated area, duh! (Or in the living room. Whatever. Don’t tell Michael.) California is the only state that feels like E6000 causes cancer and we all know how good their judgement is.
  • Don’t ever snip the corner of a Ziploc bag to put frosting on cupcakes again. Just stop. We’re all guilty of this shortcut because someone on Pinterest said ‘emahgerd, it works awesome and is super cheap!’ Buy this frosting press/gun thingiemajig and start loving your life again.
  • DIY yarn balls are amazeballs. ‘Nuff said.
Primary color birthday party favors- JELL-O popcorn party favors, Boogie Wipes, candy, and crayons

Primary color birthday party favors

Can I be honest for a minute? (Wait, I’m always honest.) The party favors for Michael’s Tonka truck birthday party were expensive and I wasn’t looking to blow my budget on a party for a tiny human that skipped passing through my birth canal, resulting in stitches soooo…. no fancy candy, hats, toys, bubbles, etc this time. See, I know how to be reasonable when my vagina is involved.

  • Boogie Wipes.
  • Crayons in primary colors, wrapped in ribbon. (It’s all about presentations, yo!)
  • Orange (gasp) Starburst because I had a ton of nasty orange ones left after sorting 10 bags of candy for the red and yellow ones.
  • Red, yellow, and blue JELL-O popcorn (courtesy of Amy’s popcorn recipe)
Primary color birthday party- Party favor table
Primary color birthday party- red, yellow, and blue candy table with colored cereal, Starburst candy, and cookies

For the record, blue anything is pretty tough to find for a primary color party favor table if you don’t have a bulk candy store in your neck of the woods. I guess you could sell a kidney for pounds of blue candy from some online retailer but… yeah… ain’t nobody got the time or money to find an online store like that. (Psssttt… help a girl out if you know of one. kthanks.)

So, instead I spent an evening with a foaming at the mouth toddler sorting boxes of cereal. He doesn’t get sugar often and he sure as hell doesn’t get food coloring, so he was all up in my goodies eating ‘the bad colors’.

Primary color birthday party- First birthday giant {smash} cupcake

Primary color birthday party- Red Kool-Aid, yellow Hawaiian Punch, Ocean Spray blueberry juice

Umm, hello… who doesn’t have theme appropriate drinks at their parties?

No? You mean it’s an obsessive party planner trait? Say it ain’t so!

I’m going to admit what’s in these drink dispensers and you better not go all paleo police on me. Mmmkay?

  • Red Kool-Aid & generic Sierra Mist.
  • Yellow Hawaiian Punch & generic Sierra Mist.
  • Ocean Spray blueberry juice & generic Sierra Mist.

The horror!

Oh no she didn’t!

We can’t visit her site anymore because she’s a hypocrite!

Wahhh… don’t hate me. I had bottled water available and it’s not my bad if the party guests choose to exercise their freedom of choice. Wait. Do we still have that freedom??

Moving on.

Primary color birthday party- Red and yellow fruit and vegetable platters

Can you believe my sister asked me where the green peppers were? Green peppers! Green! My dear seester has so much to learn about my obsessive personality.


Primary color birthday party- Taco bar

Tacos are the ultimate easy party food because they make everyone happy. Trust me on this one. I entertain paleo (me), organic snobs (my sister), vegetarian (spouses), normal people, and sugar monsters (Daddy Michael) each party. I have the menu thing down to a science!

Hey. So. Yeah. I’d love for you to leave me a party theme if you want me to make it happen! Tame is fine by me. Racy is harder but way cooler. Whatever fetish you want is A-OK!


Primary color birthday party- red, yellow, blue popcorn party favors, DIY yarn balls, cupcakes, ABC sugar cookies, taco bar, and more.

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