Our shower etiquette tips have been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #MySignatureMove #CollectiveBias
Is taking a sudsy shower with your spouse on your bucket list? I’m talking about a shower so full of passion that Hugh himself blushes. You know, the kind of shower you see in the movies.
Except, shower scenes from the movies are not based on true stories. They are full of LIES. Lies meant to disappoint eager, young men everywhere.
Just another example of how life isn’t fair.
WATCH OUR SHOWER ETIQUETTE TIPS FOR COUPLES:
I forgive you if you are unable to watch our video right now, but you absolutely MUST come back later! Michael is hilarious and we are rocking our birthday suits like seasoned pornstars.
Except, not. Don’t worry, mom, there is no sexy time.
When a man dreams of showering with his lady he doesn’t realize what that REALLY means. Showering with us means you must stand in the cold until our hair is wet, as we rinse out the shampoo, and again when rinse out the conditioner. Are you prepared to make the appropriate sacrifices?
And please tread lightly when it comes to pimples. Just because they are talking smack does NOT mean she wants you to relieve the pressure via force. Unless, of course, you find the doghouse extra cozy. Maybe you do? Maybe it’s outfitted with the latest tech toys, your favorite brewskis, and you are looking for an excuse to be sent there?
Stranger things have happened.
I feel like the next shower etiquette tip is a no brainer, but I will say it anyway. Please! Please don’t break the first rule of marriage by farting in the shower. Warm, wet farts linger for far too long. Not even manlicious Irish Spring body wash will protect the two of you from the invisible cloud of stank!
Although… the Signature line has man sized bar soap made with natural ingredients and scents that are chockful of lady attractants. They must. I don’t see how they aren’t. They draw me in like a moth to the flame.
But farting isn’t the mack daddy of all the male faux pas out there. The one thing that will end your shower privileges faster than it takes a loofah to suds up is:
Washing your lady friend with the loofah you just used to wash your butt!
Just, no. Save the dingleberries for your mama!
These shower faux pas happen far too often in our home. It’s disgusting. Disgusting and yet I can’t get enough of the bottles and bars of man scent! Moth. Flame. Remember?
Purchase one of the new Irish Spring Signature products and get $5 off a VUDU purchase! (I picked mine up from Walmart.) Take a picture of your receipt and then go to https://cbi.as/3boj to upload your receipt. Next step, enjoy watching!