SUMMER FASHION FOR THE MODERN DAY & LAZY HOUSEWIFE

Alert the press! Get ready to live tweet! Are you ready to Instagram this?

Summer fashion has hit the blog, THIS blog! And no, you don’t have to adjust your screen resolution because I’m not playin‘. Getting dressed is the newest crazy concept I am trying on for size (ba-dum-tshh) and it isn’t as painful as one would think. Well… it is because I have to do a hundred million things to qualify as summer fashion, but it isn’t painful like burning your hand on the stove, painful. Make sense?

And this is where I pause the story for you to clean the wine you just spewed at the screen up.

Summer fashion for housewives who clearance shop at Macy's and Sears

Summer fashion, to me, means yoga pants and a sports bra, versus yoga pants and a sweatshirt. You might think that is splitting hairs but I am sure 95% of my fellow housewives can sympathize with that.

Amiright, or amiright?

I thought so.

 YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS MY SUMMER FASHION VIDEO BECAUSE I GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO SHOP WEEKLY!

Spill the beans, who has their purse ready to go?

Ehoh! Cheers to my mad shopping enabling skills!

The shopping part is really the only reason I can stomach the hours of prep it takes to be a girl. Who has time for plucking, shaving, blow drying, and EVERYTHING else that comes with having a vagina? I want to be a dude on days like this. I’m serious, a done in 30 minutes kind of dude.

Summer fashion tip for housewife who wear shirts that show their breasts

I have a confession… I like to wear shirts that show what little I have left of my goodies. What of it? I spend an outrageous amount of money at Victoria’s Secret and need to get what I paid for! (Now if only postpartum wouldn’t have forced me into the super duper push up bra!)

How did I get sidetracked with my love of cleavage?

Getting back on topic with my tip, use straight pins to keep yourself from flashing the world! I pop it in and BOOM, that shirt ain’t goin’ anywhere!

Maybe if you are nice I will get dressed again next week. Maybe. I’m not making any promises. Nope. No promises so you can’t hold me accountable. You can’t make me.

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